H
hopelessness
Member
- Jan 13, 2022
- 11
I'm only really here because of my family and that tiny speck of me that is scared of death. That little bit that clings on for some reason.
I feel like all am to family at this point is a useless burden. All I do is hurt them or disappoint them. I can't help but feel like a mistake. Some massive joke or something. Whatever I am I know I'm a failure of a person a pathetic excuse for one, a waste of space for sure.
I wasn't meant to be here, I feel that in my bones.
Yet people say "it will get better" or "what about your family". Can't I be selfish and say but what about me. I'm tired of living like this and a part of me knows they would ultimately be better off without me. And then the cycle continues I feel guilty for feeling and thinking this way it makes me want to die more.
I really don't know what to do. I'm scared of the future. To be honest I see no future. I see no point in life. I have no interest in anything. I have no goals, I know I will achieve nothing so what is the point in me being here. I just get up and want to fall back asleep again. I don't feel like myself. It is like I am in a waking dream everything feels surreal and slightly out of touch.
I don't feel in control.
I just don't want to be here.
Sorry I know I've rambled on I just needed to get some stuff out it's too much to have this going around my head on my own.
Anyway does anyone else feel like way?
I feel like all am to family at this point is a useless burden. All I do is hurt them or disappoint them. I can't help but feel like a mistake. Some massive joke or something. Whatever I am I know I'm a failure of a person a pathetic excuse for one, a waste of space for sure.
I wasn't meant to be here, I feel that in my bones.
Yet people say "it will get better" or "what about your family". Can't I be selfish and say but what about me. I'm tired of living like this and a part of me knows they would ultimately be better off without me. And then the cycle continues I feel guilty for feeling and thinking this way it makes me want to die more.
I really don't know what to do. I'm scared of the future. To be honest I see no future. I see no point in life. I have no interest in anything. I have no goals, I know I will achieve nothing so what is the point in me being here. I just get up and want to fall back asleep again. I don't feel like myself. It is like I am in a waking dream everything feels surreal and slightly out of touch.
I don't feel in control.
I just don't want to be here.
Sorry I know I've rambled on I just needed to get some stuff out it's too much to have this going around my head on my own.
Anyway does anyone else feel like way?