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Alex_Morgan

Member
May 26, 2024
14
Hello

I have been reading here for a few months and have now decided to register.
I can read and understand English well, but I have problems with writing, so I will use a translator to help me.

I am 40+ years old and live in an EU country. I have been disabled since birth due to an illness and am dependent on a wheelchair and support in normal everyday life.
I have a job that I can do via the computer.
Unfortunately, I live at home with my parents, which is not easy, but I am dependent on help.

It's difficult, I haven't been getting on as well with my parents for a few years now as I used to. My father has been retired for 4 years and doesn't know what to do.

My mother was also diagnosed with cancer 3 months ago, which makes everything even more difficult.

We often argue, partly because we are always together. My father has no hobby and sits around at home all the time.
My mother is a difficult person, we argue a lot - it's always been like that.

For about a year now, everything has been getting on top of me because I have no way of getting away or changing anything.
If it were possible, I would move out immediately, but unfortunately that's not possible because of my disability and I wouldn't be able to afford it.

I get up every morning annoyed and look forward to the evening when I'm alone again (my parents go to bed early).
I do my work on the computer and earn my own money, which is the only positive thing in my life.
When I'm not working, I spend time with our dog in the garden, weather permitting.

Or I spend hours on the internet looking at things I would like to see or experience myself.

I would love to travel to the USA and see cities like New York or Los Angeles. Or travel to England and see London.
I would also like to see Australia or New Zealand or go on a boat trip in the Amazon, there are so many things I would like to do.

Instead, I watch videos on YouTube, for example, of people walking through New York with their cameras or having dashcams installed on their cars and documenting their journeys.

As I'm getting older and older, I'm becoming more and more aware that nothing will change in my life and that's why I decided to go down this path a few months ago, I'm just tired.

We have arguments and bad moods almost every day.

My mother now wants to bring 2 small cats into the house even though she knows that our dog doesn't like cats at all.
This will cause even more stress and I've just had enough.
She's not interested in my arguments that it won't work, and my father doesn't care anyway, he just wants his peace and quiet.

Five months ago I bought SN from a source in Poland.
I think the source is good, but I haven't tested the SN because I would have to open the packaging.
Besides, there is no guarantee with the blood test or the aquarium test that it is really that pure.
The worst thing would be to wake up in hospital, which can happen with SN.

That's why I got some medication over the internet that is used for the DDMAPh.
I think there is a better chance that it will work.

I'm not afraid of dying, but I am afraid of waking up in hospital.
Probably nobody would believe me if I said I had mixed something up when I took it. :pfff:


There is also the DDMAPh method which is also mentioned here in the forum, as well as in The Peaceful Pill Handbook.

The following would be necessary (the quantity is the amount of the active ingredient)
Digoxin 100 mg
Diazepam 1 g
Morphine 15 g
Amitriptyline 8 g
Phenobarbital 5 g

The problem is that the patients for the DDMAPh program were given the drugs in powder form, I have not found them in powder form.

Tablets are often coated with sugar, film, enteric or delayed-release coatings as well as protective coatings and colorants to ensure taste, swallowability, drug protection, controlled release and stability.
You have to grind them into powder, so the total amount of tablets you have to drink is even higher.


In tablet form this results in the following quantity.

Summary:
Digoxin: 400 tablets, total weight 52.0 g
Diazepam: 100 tablets, total weight 21.0 g
Morphine: 75 tablets, total weight 37.5 g
Amitriptyline: 320 tablets, total weight 48.0 g
Phenobarbital: 50 tablets, total weight 10.5 g

That would be a total of 945 tablets weighing at least 169.6 g.

But even if you grind the tablets into powder, it is almost impossible to drink this amount. It would probably take over 1.5 liters of water to make it reasonably drinkable.

I found all the medication in tablet form and bought some from well-rated sellers in the DN.
I bought the following quantity, unfortunately I didn't get enough Digoxin.

Total amount of all tablets.
Digoxin: (0.25 mg) 277 tablets (36 g)
Diazepam: (10 mg) 115 tablets (24.0 g)
Amitriptyline: (25 mg) 358 tablets (53.7 g)
Phenobarbital: (100 mg) 98 tablets (20.58 g)

Lorazepam: (2.5 mg) - 60 tablets (14.4 g) -- I already had at home

Morphine (200 mg) - 100 tablets (50 g) -- not yet received


As you can see, I've actually got everything together, I hope the morphine is still to come.
Now I just have to think about how to do it, as I mentioned I don't think it's possible to drink this number of tablets.

I have a 10 hour window where I am alone and it has to work.

Here is the compact list of lethal doses (LD 50) I found:

- Digoxin: approx. 10 mg
- Diazepam: approx. 1 g
- Morphine: approx. 200 mg
- Amitriptyline: approx. 500 mg
- Phenobarbital: approx. 1 g

Maybe you can give me some tips, or maybe there are people here who know about all these medications.

I have also ordered protonitazepyne from 2 stores, the stuff should be 25 times as strong as fentanyl.
I have a total of 1.5 grams at home, considering that 2mg of fentanyl is lethal, I could probably kill the Predator from the Predator movies with it. :pfff:

But I'm not sure if the stuff is really as pure as it says, so I sent a sample to a lab in Spain.
This works anonymously and hopefully I will get an answer by email within the next 3 weeks.

If the Protonitazepyne is really pure then of course I will use it. πŸ‘
 
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T

ThatStateOfMind

Paragon
Nov 13, 2021
913
I can't offer help because I'm not knowledgeable on this but I do wish you the best
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

She wished that she never existed...
Sep 24, 2020
35,171
I wish you the best in your plans and I hope that you find the freedom you search for.
 
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not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Archangel
Mar 23, 2018
8,225
Sorry to hear about all your pain. πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€— I don't really have any advice other than whichever method you use,
Make sure any extra is well hidden if possible. In case you are found and need it again.
Best of luck with your journey. :heart::hug::heart::hug::heart:
 
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Coconut blue

Coconut blue

Student
May 13, 2024
144
I'm sorry to hear about how tough everything has been. I don't know much about your method so i can't comment on its effectiveness, but have you tried applying for assisted suicide at exit or dignitas? given that you're older, have a long term physical disability and aren't applying for mental health related reasons i think you have a better chance of being accepted than a lot of other members here who've contacted them
 
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007Bob

007Bob

Member
May 31, 2024
81
Hello

I have been reading here for a few months and have now decided to register.
I can read and understand English well, but I have problems with writing, so I will use a translator to help me.

I am 40+ years old and live in an EU country. I have been disabled since birth due to an illness and am dependent on a wheelchair and support in normal everyday life.
I have a job that I can do via the computer.
Unfortunately, I live at home with my parents, which is not easy, but I am dependent on help.

It's difficult, I haven't been getting on as well with my parents for a few years now as I used to. My father has been retired for 4 years and doesn't know what to do.

My mother was also diagnosed with cancer 3 months ago, which makes everything even more difficult.

We often argue, partly because we are always together. My father has no hobby and sits around at home all the time.
My mother is a difficult person, we argue a lot - it's always been like that.

For about a year now, everything has been getting on top of me because I have no way of getting away or changing anything.
If it were possible, I would move out immediately, but unfortunately that's not possible because of my disability and I wouldn't be able to afford it.

I get up every morning annoyed and look forward to the evening when I'm alone again (my parents go to bed early).
I do my work on the computer and earn my own money, which is the only positive thing in my life.
When I'm not working, I spend time with our dog in the garden, weather permitting.

Or I spend hours on the internet looking at things I would like to see or experience myself.

I would love to travel to the USA and see cities like New York or Los Angeles. Or travel to England and see London.
I would also like to see Australia or New Zealand or go on a boat trip in the Amazon, there are so many things I would like to do.

Instead, I watch videos on YouTube, for example, of people walking through New York with their cameras or having dashcams installed on their cars and documenting their journeys.

As I'm getting older and older, I'm becoming more and more aware that nothing will change in my life and that's why I decided to go down this path a few months ago, I'm just tired.

We have arguments and bad moods almost every day.

My mother now wants to bring 2 small cats into the house even though she knows that our dog doesn't like cats at all.
This will cause even more stress and I've just had enough.
She's not interested in my arguments that it won't work, and my father doesn't care anyway, he just wants his peace and quiet.

Five months ago I bought SN from a source in Poland.
I think the source is good, but I haven't tested the SN because I would have to open the packaging.
Besides, there is no guarantee with the blood test or the aquarium test that it is really that pure.
The worst thing would be to wake up in hospital, which can happen with SN.

That's why I got some medication over the internet that is used for the DDMAPh.
I think there is a better chance that it will work.

I'm not afraid of dying, but I am afraid of waking up in hospital.
Probably nobody would believe me if I said I had mixed something up when I took it. :pfff:


There is also the DDMAPh method which is also mentioned here in the forum, as well as in The Peaceful Pill Handbook.

The following would be necessary (the quantity is the amount of the active ingredient)
Digoxin 100 mg
Diazepam 1 g
Morphine 15 g
Amitriptyline 8 g
Phenobarbital 5 g

The problem is that the patients for the DDMAPh program were given the drugs in powder form, I have not found them in powder form.

Tablets are often coated with sugar, film, enteric or delayed-release coatings as well as protective coatings and colorants to ensure taste, swallowability, drug protection, controlled release and stability.
You have to grind them into powder, so the total amount of tablets you have to drink is even higher.


In tablet form this results in the following quantity.

Summary:
Digoxin: 400 tablets, total weight 52.0 g
Diazepam: 100 tablets, total weight 21.0 g
Morphine: 75 tablets, total weight 37.5 g
Amitriptyline: 320 tablets, total weight 48.0 g
Phenobarbital: 50 tablets, total weight 10.5 g

That would be a total of 945 tablets weighing at least 169.6 g.

But even if you grind the tablets into powder, it is almost impossible to drink this amount. It would probably take over 1.5 liters of water to make it reasonably drinkable.

I found all the medication in tablet form and bought some from well-rated sellers in the DN.
I bought the following quantity, unfortunately I didn't get enough Digoxin.

Total amount of all tablets.
Digoxin: (0.25 mg) 277 tablets (36 g)
Diazepam: (10 mg) 115 tablets (24.0 g)
Amitriptyline: (25 mg) 358 tablets (53.7 g)
Phenobarbital: (100 mg) 98 tablets (20.58 g)

Lorazepam: (2.5 mg) - 60 tablets (14.4 g) -- I already had at home

Morphine (200 mg) - 100 tablets (50 g) -- not yet received


As you can see, I've actually got everything together, I hope the morphine is still to come.
Now I just have to think about how to do it, as I mentioned I don't think it's possible to drink this number of tablets.

I have a 10 hour window where I am alone and it has to work.

Here is the compact list of lethal doses (LD 50) I found:

- Digoxin: approx. 10 mg
- Diazepam: approx. 1 g
- Morphine: approx. 200 mg
- Amitriptyline: approx. 500 mg
- Phenobarbital: approx. 1 g

Maybe you can give me some tips, or maybe there are people here who know about all these medications.

I have also ordered protonitazepyne from 2 stores, the stuff should be 25 times as strong as fentanyl.
I have a total of 1.5 grams at home, considering that 2mg of fentanyl is lethal, I could probably kill the Predator from the Predator movies with it. :pfff:

But I'm not sure if the stuff is really as pure as it says, so I sent a sample to a lab in Spain.
This works anonymously and hopefully I will get an answer by email within the next 3 weeks.

If the Protonitazepyne is really pure then of course I will use it. πŸ‘
Hi, are you interested in MAiD? I would like to CTB with DDMA/P. I am looking for a friend to CTB together. What do you think?

=> Here is my latest post on MAiD and questions maybe you can help me with:
 
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