Venting Jumping from addiction to addiction

[mob]

As a child, I was heavily addicted to sugar. When I was 13, I started getting addicted to pills. It started when I was caught skipping school, and started using various pills (painkillers, anxiety meds, my sister's acne pills, etc), painkiller drops, etc. in order to deal with school stress. I didn't have good grades and would often get beaten for them, so I needed them as a way to cope. I would often pass out and when I woke up, sometimes I'd immediately vomit. With the painkiller drops, I often started seeing various shapes and colors before losing consciousness in bed. Pair that with a self harm addiction.
My parents separated, and I had my first ctb attempt with 14 - around 50 ibuprofen, which obviously didn't do much. But I was young and stupid.

This went on until I turned 17 and stopped because of my partner. Then, I got addicted to smoking cigarettes which went on until a few months ago, and now with 19, I've had a really bad addiction to those nicotine pouches for around two years now - the nicotine lasts longer and goes directly into your blood through the gums, which makes me drowsy since I also take the strongest ones they sell legally here. I have to take one after breakfast (the only reason I eat breakfast), one a few hours later - then again, more, more. Then one after lunch. One an hour or two later. After dinner. Before sleep. While trying to sleep. I'm completely addicted.

This is the reason why I'll never try any drugs. I know I'll get addicted to it. I smoked a few times before and while 90% of the time it didn't even work, the one time it worked I had an insanely bad trip since I am also generally a very paranoid person. Yet, I still crave it. If anyone held it out to me, I would take it without hesitation. This is the only drug I've tried and I swore to myself I'd never try anything else ever again.

I feel like I'll never have a normal, stable life. My gums are detoriating and my teeth get more and more exposed since my gums start to grow back - which causes pain. However I can't stop it. Lately, I've been thinking about sh again after bring clean for a few months but I know if I do so, I'll fall right back into it. I'm seriously a lost cause, I believe.

 

[deadhead12!]

i empathize with your nicotine addiction issues. it has destroyed my life.

 

[mob]

i empathize with your nicotine addiction issues. it has destroyed my life.

Seriously. It's so damn addictive - one cigarette is enough to get you hooked. Then you can't function without it and spend a lot of money on them. The only reason I forced myself to stop smoking is the fact that I got my asthma diagnosis a few months ago.

 

[whywere]

I had two folks that I graduated from high school with in 1974, yes, a little while ago, and both smoked heavily and one in his early fifties got lung cancer in both lungs and the cancer attacked his heart. From diagnosis to death was 1 month. The other poor soul started in his early twenties to look "cool" and he died at age 57. He did not feel good and after the doctor he lasted 3 weeks and gone.

YES, anyone can get cancer, I got gall bladder in 2014 out of the blue, BUT to face a slow and horrible death by buying cancer sticks, no thank you AND having to PAY for the privilege of DEATH, NO.

I am sorry for writing the previous, but losing both of them still really upsets me because they did it to themselves.

Enough of that, I wrap my arms around YOU as you are a wonderful person and I really care about you a lot.

Let me make something very clear on SS, when I write something it is from my heart as like your thread touched me deeply and I want the very best for you always.

The number one aspect is that you have a support system, SS to help and I send you lots of HUGE HUGS and love.

We are in this TOGETHER ALWAYS.

Walter

Seriously. It's so damn addictive - one cigarette is enough to get you hooked. Then you can't function without it and spend a lot of money on them. The only reason I forced myself to stop smoking is the fact that I got my asthma diagnosis a few months ago.

You are correct, as Nicotine is a alkaloid and is VERY addictive. If one takes a small amount, not large can be dangerous, and the nicotine is in its dry powder form and light a match to it will burn. 90 some percent of Nicotine in a cigarette burns upon burning the cigarette and NOT in the smoke that one inhales.

Yes, I totally agree with you that just 1 cigarette can hook a person.

I am so happy for you that you quit as I consider you family to/for me, since I have no family nor friends, and I want the very best for you always.

Lots of hugs, love and wonderful weather to/for you, my good friend.

Walter

Seriously. It's so damn addictive - one cigarette is enough to get you hooked. Then you can't function without it and spend a lot of money on them. The only reason I forced myself to stop smoking is the fact that I got my asthma diagnosis a few months ago.

You are correct, as Nicotine is a alkaloid and is VERY addictive. If one takes a small amount, not large can be dangerous, and the nicotine is in its dry powder form and light a match to it will burn. 90 some percent of Nicotine in a cigarette burns upon burning the cigarette and NOT in the smoke that one inhales.

Yes, I totally agree with you that just 1 cigarette can hook a person.

I am so happy for you that you quit as I consider you family to/for me, since I have no family nor friends, and I want the very best for you always.

Lots of hugs, love and wonderful weather to/for you, my good friend.

Walter

 

[mob]

I had two folks that I graduated from high school with in 1974, yes, a little while ago, and both smoked heavily and one in his early fifties got lung cancer in both lungs and the cancer attacked his heart. From diagnosis to death was 1 month. The other poor soul started in his early twenties to look "cool" and he died at age 57. He did not feel good and after the doctor he lasted 3 weeks and gone.

YES, anyone can get cancer, I got gall bladder in 2014 out of the blue, BUT to face a slow and horrible death by buying cancer sticks, no thank you AND having to PAY for the privilege of DEATH, NO.

I am sorry for writing the previous, but losing both of them still really upsets me because they did it to themselves.

Enough of that, I wrap my arms around YOU as you are a wonderful person and I really care about you a lot.

Let me make something very clear on SS, when I write something it is from my heart as like your thread touched me deeply and I want the very best for you always.

The number one aspect is that you have a support system, SS to help and I send you lots of HUGE HUGS and love.

We are in this TOGETHER ALWAYS.

Walter

You are correct, as Nicotine is a alkaloid and is VERY addictive. If one takes a small amount, not large can be dangerous, and the nicotine is in its dry powder form and light a match to it will burn. 90 some percent of Nicotine in a cigarette burns upon burning the cigarette and NOT in the smoke that one inhales.

Yes, I totally agree with you that just 1 cigarette can hook a person.

I am so happy for you that you quit as I consider you family to/for me, since I have no family nor friends, and I want the very best for you always.

Lots of hugs, love and wonderful weather to/for you, my good friend.

Walter

You are correct, as Nicotine is a alkaloid and is VERY addictive. If one takes a small amount, not large can be dangerous, and the nicotine is in its dry powder form and light a match to it will burn. 90 some percent of Nicotine in a cigarette burns upon burning the cigarette and NOT in the smoke that one inhales.

Yes, I totally agree with you that just 1 cigarette can hook a person.

I am so happy for you that you quit as I consider you family to/for me, since I have no family nor friends, and I want the very best for you always.

Lots of hugs, love and wonderful weather to/for you, my good friend.

Walter

Thank you. I'm sorry for your loss. The fact that they could've changed their future but chose not to, assuming they didn't want to die in the first place, is bitter.

I'm also glad I stopped smoking, I think I also got various signs to stop, like getting a bad case of pneumonia 2 weeks after I'd started smoking which almost killed me (honestly…I wish it would've), I also had my own smoking spot, and one time, no clue how it happened, my phone, my cigarettes, and my nicotine pouches fell into dirty water at the spot. My phone would work again, but as soon as I went to my smoking spot, it would stop reacting. It sounds really, really weird I know.

Anyway, thank you for your kind words! It really means a lot to me.