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Kaczka86
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- Dec 15, 2019
- 52
How to stop focusing on my own misfortune and stop comparing my life to others, especially my boyfriend's?
In more detail - me and my boyfriend come from two completely opposite backgrounds. He's wealthy, always had everything he wanted, went on multiple holidays and lived in different countries while growing up. Already graduated and his parents fully paid for the apartment he was renting. Couple rooms only for himself. Me on the other hand, I come from poor family, never went on real holidays with my family until I started earning money and went on my own. Lived in small 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment with 7+ people for my whole life until I moved out. Couple months ago started first year in college (part time) and I'm a first person in my close family to even go to college.
In theory I'm doing way better than my family and if things go well it'll be even better in the future. But... It's just so fucking hard to see someone who's close to me have everything without any effort. I'm currently living and studying abroad and I had to save up for over a year just to be able to come where I am and have enough for only one month of living without a job. Now I'm working dead end job from mornings until late afternoon and have lectures in evenings. I have two days off each week, but one of my days off is dedicated for 6+ hours of classes. Things were normal, even fine at times, but then around two months ago person I was living with told me his landlord is selling the apartment and we have a month to move out. Now all of us are living in overpriced small studio kinda apartment with one small bedroom. This apartment is so small that our beds take more than 50% of space. No way to cook too, which is one of my few enjoyments in life.
Also no way to rent apartment with my boyfriend because "he'd lose it if he had no personal space for himself" + he'll live with me only after marriage because he and his family are religious. We had "argument" about living together quite recently and he literally snaped at me say something along the lines "why would I sacrifice my mental health and live miserable and way less comfortable life just because you want to save some money". Like, I completely get it. He happened to be lucky and be born in a good place, so why would he abandon it? But fuck, hearing that hurt so much. Loving someone with completely different background than yours hutrs so, so fucking much. (Worth to mention - for two years we dated online and then around middle of this year we moved to the same country and we're dating irl only for couple months now).
So, I'm just basically jealous of his comfortable life and can't focus on anything else but my own misfortune.
Can anyone even relate?
In more detail - me and my boyfriend come from two completely opposite backgrounds. He's wealthy, always had everything he wanted, went on multiple holidays and lived in different countries while growing up. Already graduated and his parents fully paid for the apartment he was renting. Couple rooms only for himself. Me on the other hand, I come from poor family, never went on real holidays with my family until I started earning money and went on my own. Lived in small 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment with 7+ people for my whole life until I moved out. Couple months ago started first year in college (part time) and I'm a first person in my close family to even go to college.
In theory I'm doing way better than my family and if things go well it'll be even better in the future. But... It's just so fucking hard to see someone who's close to me have everything without any effort. I'm currently living and studying abroad and I had to save up for over a year just to be able to come where I am and have enough for only one month of living without a job. Now I'm working dead end job from mornings until late afternoon and have lectures in evenings. I have two days off each week, but one of my days off is dedicated for 6+ hours of classes. Things were normal, even fine at times, but then around two months ago person I was living with told me his landlord is selling the apartment and we have a month to move out. Now all of us are living in overpriced small studio kinda apartment with one small bedroom. This apartment is so small that our beds take more than 50% of space. No way to cook too, which is one of my few enjoyments in life.
Also no way to rent apartment with my boyfriend because "he'd lose it if he had no personal space for himself" + he'll live with me only after marriage because he and his family are religious. We had "argument" about living together quite recently and he literally snaped at me say something along the lines "why would I sacrifice my mental health and live miserable and way less comfortable life just because you want to save some money". Like, I completely get it. He happened to be lucky and be born in a good place, so why would he abandon it? But fuck, hearing that hurt so much. Loving someone with completely different background than yours hutrs so, so fucking much. (Worth to mention - for two years we dated online and then around middle of this year we moved to the same country and we're dating irl only for couple months now).
So, I'm just basically jealous of his comfortable life and can't focus on anything else but my own misfortune.
Can anyone even relate?
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