i’ve decided to CBT

[loopystarvedartsist]

i have disability and chronic illness. a surgery left my life totally ruined. i'm in pain all the time. i can barely leave my bed without fainting thanks to POTS. to counteract the pain i was put on opiates. which in hindsight was probably not a good idea thanks to my family history involving drugs. soon enough i was homeless and being abused while disabled.

now, i live with my older brother. i should be grateful to have medication to counteract the pain. i know people would kill for that. but what do you do when ur at a dose that isn't enough? i panic and take more which causes me to run out early. now i'm withdrawing like crazy. in a few minutes i should be okay but i can't do this. i can't imagine the weening process again (i've been on and off 3 times). it takes a huge toll on me. i'm hoping to end my already excruciating suffering before it's only made worse. for someone who's scared of pain, how should i CTB without SI kicking in AS a DISABLED person? i was thinking gas or SWB

 

[outrider567]

i have disability and chronic illness. a surgery left my life totally ruined. i'm in pain all the time. i can barely leave my bed without fainting thanks to POTS. to counteract the pain i was put on opiates. which in hindsight was probably not a good idea thanks to my family history involving drugs. soon enough i was homeless and being abused while disabled.

now, i live with my older brother. i should be grateful to have medication to counteract the pain. i know people would kill for that. but what do you do when ur at a dose that isn't enough? i panic and take more which causes me to run out early. now i'm withdrawing like crazy. in a few minutes i should be okay but i can't do this. i can't imagine the weening process again (i've been on and off 3 times). it takes a huge toll on me. i'm hoping to end my already excruciating suffering before it's only made worse. for someone who's scared of pain, how should i CTB without SI kicking in AS a DISABLED person? i was thinking gas or SWB

Nitrogen method would be difficult since you don't live alone

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like such a horrible situation to be trapped in, this world where people have the potential to suffer to such extreme extents undeniably is hell to me. Sadly suicide is simply not straightforward and there are no easy answers as to leaving this world in a peaceful and reliable way especially if one is trapped in a situation like that, humans should just have the option to pass away in peace without struggle but that's simply not the reality, if suicide was easier I would be long gone. But anyway I hope that you find the freedom that you so desperately wish for.

 

[soontobedone]

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[SilentSadness]

It's tragic that we aren't allowed to ctb and are instead forced to remain here in hell, I hope you can find a way out of the undeserved mess you're in.