Story I've been trying to work on social skills with my therapist

[Anonymoususer1234]

I don't really want to go in detail about what we've been working on and I'm definitely not looking for advice but man this shit is so difficult.

As it turns out I struggle with socializing in real life much more than I thought I did.

Don't get me wrong, I knew my social skills needed work but I really didn't realize just how bad they actually were.

It's like finding out you have two broken legs when you thought you were walking perfectly fine this entire time.

Even the basics of having a peer to peer interaction trip me up.

Even trying to work on the so-called baby steps overwhelms me.

As it turns out it, even when I thought I was doing things right, I was actually making all kind of faux-pas.

And it really stings to realize that you're much more inept than you thought.

I'm debating just throwing in the towel at my next session and telling him that it's okay, we don't have to continue, I'm too much of a piece of work for even myself. I'm not one to give up super easily but this shit is just too tough. I fear I'm wasting both mine and their precious time.

 

[timf]

For people with Aspergers, social skills almost seem out of reach. Over time they learn to mask, or otherwise navigate the social world at some minimally acceptable level. Part of the problem comes from a neurology that provides an avalanche of sensory information that has to be process manually as opposed to automatic pilot. In a social situation the lack of reflexive responses can seem awkward.

It may be helpful to think of social skills in terms of what you need to get by as opposed to thinking you need to completely change who you are. There are many people on the fringe of the social world, some because of their neurology, some because of their experiences (abuse victims, combat veterans, cops, etc.), some because of their choices (religious, political, etc.)

There is an upside to being socially awkward. Being rejected by people so superficial as being unable to cope with anyone even slightly different is a useful way to avoid wasting time or getting involved in fruitless relationships. You generally find more interesting people on the fringe.

 

[niawscm]

Can you ask the therapist to take a step back and slow down? Maybe redefine the goals of therapy so they aren't quite so ambitious? Are there some small things you could do to improve your life incrementally?

 

[Anonymoususer1234]

Can you ask the therapist to take a step back and slow down? Maybe redefine the goals of therapy so they aren't quite so ambitious? Are there some small things you could do to improve your life incrementally?

Might be worth a shot. Yeah

 

[H.O.Xan]

I was gon ask if u could summarize wut u've been learning from ur therapist in terms of tips to increase ur social skills.

Hope to learn from u. If u don't wanna elaborate tho. Fine