I've been forgotten by society

[TVtrays]

I'm a 24 year old disabled queer trans woman, with no ability to work and waiting months for social security to be reviewed. My housing situation is unstable, I've grown addicted to benzodiazepines I've ordered online. I have severe PTSD among a multitude of mental illnesses. My friends say my recent ex was abusive but I dont know, but she's my only hope to find stable housing. I have constant, severe, relentless anxiety that diesnt stop. "Will I be abandoned?" "Will she find somebody else?" These fears are so intense that I don't think I can overcome them.
So many people, even trans people, have more resources than I'll ever have and I feel my life is too filled with scarcity and heartbreak to continue. Even my therapists don't know what to do with me.

 

[timf]

You mention "friends" and "therapists". It sounds like you do have a circle of people around you. You might want to start with that. If you allow yourself to view yourself as a set of labels looking for a relationship with "society" you will always be disappointed.

If you are disabled, Goodwill might be able to find some work for you. Work can be more than a source of income, it can also serve as an emotional anchor as well.

You may also want to focus on further developing non-intimate relationships with friends so that your broader support network has greater depth. This requires your being there for them as well as showing your interest in and concern for them.

If you allow your fears to carry you into excessive self-focus, you may cause those around you to become more distant. One way to push back against fear is to focus less on future possibilities and more on the immediate things that you might be able to do for others. This not only pushes off fear, but strengthens your circle of relationships.

 

[TVtrays]

You mention "friends" and "therapists". It sounds like you do have a circle of people around you. You might want to start with that. If you allow yourself to view yourself as a set of labels looking for a relationship with "society" you will always be disappointed.

If you are disabled, Goodwill might be able to find some work for you. Work can be more than a source of income, it can also serve as an emotional anchor as well.

You may also want to focus on further developing non-intimate relationships with friends so that your broader support network has greater depth. This requires your being there for them as well as showing your interest in and concern for them.

If you allow your fears to carry you into excessive self-focus, you may cause those around you to become more distant. One way to push back against fear is to focus less on future possibilities and more on the immediate things that you might be able to do for others. This not only pushes off fear, but strengthens your circle of relationships.

I'm too disabled to work, and even if I could work, I face hiring discrimination for being trans. The nearest goodwills in my area have discriminated against me as a customer anyway because I'm trans.
I have zero income. I have nothing to offer anybody and it's probable I'll become homeless in the next few months. I have no options, and society doesn't give a fuck about some sick underclass queer who can't work. I could be killed in the streets and half of people would laugh about it. I know because I've experienced it. I know how little someone like me is valued and I know the government would rather let me die waiting for government assistance that actually help me.

 

[noaccount]

Hi friend.

Same hat kind of. (Not a trans woman though. And I can do odd jobs sometimes.)

Any groups of other disabled people around you? They might be able to help guide you through getting benefits, which doctors are good, etc...

Sorry you're in this place.

 

[Weather]

Hey lady. I'm sorry that everything sucks. I wish I had some sort of helpful advice, but I don't. I guess I would echo what was said above about seeking out local disability advocacy groups or LGBTQ+ support groups and see if that can be helpful in some way. But, mostly I just wanted to say that I hear you, I see you, and I am sorry that you are going through this.

 

[Uzera]

I'm a 24 year old disabled queer trans woman, with no ability to work and waiting months for social security to be reviewed. My housing situation is unstable, I've grown addicted to benzodiazepines I've ordered online. I have severe PTSD among a multitude of mental illnesses. My friends say my recent ex was abusive but I dont know, but she's my only hope to find stable housing. I have constant, s evere, relentless anxiety that diesnt stop. "Will I be abandoned?" "Will she find somebody else?" These fears are so intense that I don't think I can overcome them.
So many people, even trans people, have more resources than I'll ever have and I feel my life is too filled with scarcity and heartbreak to continue. Even my therapists don't know what to do with me.

I'm a trans woman and I go through a lot of the same things. I'm sorry you have to deal with all that stuff. I totally relate to the feeling of being forgotten by society. If you want to DM me please feel free to.