Story I've always been this way

[Faith.fornow]

I think I've always been been this way. Not all of if but the suicidalness absolutely. I would try to ctb before I knew what the word was, I understood death though. I would choke myself at the top of the steps until I couldn't see, I was like 3 years old doing that shit and hiding it too. I know there's a lot of different reasons why a child would be suicidal and I'm open to answering questions, I'm mostly just curious if any other people on here literally always been suicidal?