lynn14

lynn14

Member
Apr 21, 2019
72
I've finally come to terms with the fact that death isn't a laser rock show like I'd always hoped. I don't believe that I will "see the light" or that there will be any further sensations or thoughts afterwards, and I now feel that death is a state of total nonexistence. And I'm actually okay with that. I've accepted that. And it feels good to not have any hope for a portal, another life, or another chance at existence. It feels good to have no hope for anything anymore. I really have no expectation of happiness ever again, in this life or after. It feels good to acknowledge and resign myself to that, as disappointing as it is. It is reality.
 
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Weems

Weems

Experienced
May 5, 2019
204
I think that's actually the most comforting outcome, at least for a suicidal person. Assuages both fear of the future and regret over the past. Everyone was destined for nothingness from the beginning. All these moments will be lost in time like tears in rain.
 
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Shamana

Warlock
May 31, 2019
716
I've finally come to terms with the fact that death isn't a laser rock show like I'd always hoped. I don't believe that I will "see the light" or that there will be any further sensations or thoughts afterwards, and I now feel that death is a state of total nonexistence. And I'm actually okay with that. I've accepted that. And it feels good to not have any hope for a portal, another life, or another chance at existence. It feels good to have no hope for anything anymore. I really have no expectation of happiness ever again, in this life or after. It feels good to acknowledge and resign myself to that, as disappointing as it is. It is reality.

How do you know?
 
Scribble Fan

Scribble Fan

I'm out!
May 30, 2019
815
Those thoughts exactly bring me deep peace when contemplating suicide. I've never minded the space between falling asleep and dreaming, I wont mind this either.
 
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Avicii

Avicii

Looking
Sep 4, 2018
424
I've finally come to terms with the fact that death isn't a laser rock show like I'd always hoped. I don't believe that I will "see the light" or that there will be any further sensations or thoughts afterwards, and I now feel that death is a state of total nonexistence. And I'm actually okay with that. I've accepted that. And it feels good to not have any hope for a portal, another life, or another chance at existence. It feels good to have no hope for anything anymore. I really have no expectation of happiness ever again, in this life or after. It feels good to acknowledge and resign myself to that, as disappointing as it is. It is reality.
Religion isn't the same as ancient times when it was first mooted ... then there was fuckall to do whereas now were kinda in the element.. technology cars sanctioned suicide !!! Will all this shit exist up in heaven ... loads of questions of you believe but I believe in fade to black
 
PatKat

PatKat

Meh
Aug 9, 2018
1,025
As someone who has been resuscitated I think there is nothing after this. Walking up not knowing where or who you are in restraints is scary. The world thinks it's a good thing to keep people suffering though it makes no sense to me. I wish I had the ability to let people feel this way if even for just 5 minutes then they would understand.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,803
I, too, have accepted this premise as well. I believe it will be just like before I existed, before I was conceived or born.
 
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T

Tally

Student
Apr 29, 2019
130
I'm happy either way, and feel I can prove it to myself that there is an afterlife, but I don't feel this is a religious one.
 
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ExitTheDay

ExitTheDay

We fight to live or live to die
May 26, 2019
336
I've accepted this aswell... great post!
 
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mutagen5577

Member
May 30, 2019
12
I still haven't accepted it which is irrational. It means no more pain, so what is there to fear?
 
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not_a_robot

not_a_robot

"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
May 30, 2019
2,121
I am okay with my own death leading to nothing but nothing.

But when I think of my mom not having any kind of comforting afterlife, my heart is shredded to bits.

"Nothin' from nothin',
Leaves nothin'..."
 
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lynn14

lynn14

Member
Apr 21, 2019
72
It's just weird how for such a long time I was holding out hope for something more than this life, and for an afterlife. It comes as a pleasant surprise that I really don't care anymore, it's like being on another level of suicidal when you are content with losing all consciousness forever. I can't wait to be nothing, to be no one, to be gone, and to not even know it.
 
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mutagen5577

Member
May 30, 2019
12
It's just weird how for such a long time I was holding out hope for something more than this life, and for an afterlife. It comes as a pleasant surprise that I really don't care anymore, it's like being on another level of suicidal when you are content with losing all consciousness forever. I can't wait to be nothing, to be no one, to be gone, and to not even know it.
The absence of pain = pleasure, in my opinion. Like how sleep feels good.
 
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lynn14

lynn14

Member
Apr 21, 2019
72
You're frigging right it does. It's funny that I always feel more suicidal when I'm tired and I have to contemplate whether to have a nap or hang myself. Lol! I always feel the worst when I'm tired, sleep does relieve the discomfort of being groggy, crappy, drug out, sore, wound up, etc. When I finally relax and go to sleep, all that tension melts away. And I imagine that is how dying will feel too. I can see myself struggling before surrendering to it, like a rabbit caught in a snare. I bet it's relaxing for the rabbit when he gives up the struggle of being strangled. And that is what I'm going to think about when I hang. I'm going to think that this is nothing different than what a rabbit in a snare goes through. Not a lick of difference.
 
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Weems

Weems

Experienced
May 5, 2019
204
You're frigging right it does. It's funny that I always feel more suicidal when I'm tired and I have to contemplate whether to have a nap or hang myself. Lol! I always feel the worst when I'm tired, sleep does relieve the discomfort of being groggy, crappy, drug out, sore, wound up, etc. When I finally relax and go to sleep, all that tension melts away. And I imagine that is how dying will feel too. I can see myself struggling before surrendering to it, like a rabbit caught in a snare. I bet it's relaxing for the rabbit when he gives up the struggle of being strangled. And that is what I'm going to think about when I hang. I'm going to think that this is nothing different than what a rabbit in a snare goes through. Not a lick of difference.
This is why I want to take N at bedtime. I'm not scared to fall asleep, and who cares if tomorrow's cancelled? You could say I'm most suicidal in the evenings, but in the most pain in the mornings.
 
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Conflicted Cat

Conflicted Cat

Experienced
May 23, 2019
256
How do you know?
Exactly. We don't. People can pretend to know that there's a god, or an afterlife, or nothing after death or whatever all they want. You can believe whatever you want, but we'll simply just never know for sure. Calling people illogical for having an open mind is just stupid.
 
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lynn14

lynn14

Member
Apr 21, 2019
72
This is why I want to take N at bedtime. I'm not scared to fall asleep, and who cares if tomorrow's cancelled? You could say I'm most suicidal in the evenings, but in the most pain in the mornings.

I've thought about this order of operations as well. N at bedtime would be just the ticket. And I can relate to being in pain waking up. It's like a slap in the face each time realizing you're still here. Imagine not having to go through that. Someday tomorrow will indeed be cancelled. It's like a kid looking forward to a snow day. Lol!
ne.
Ultimately we can't know for sure. But if it looks like a rock, and acts like a rock, it's probably inanimate. In all seriousness, for me nothingness after death has always been something I've dreaded, until just recently I started looking forward to it. So looking forward to what previously was my worst case scenario is a-okay. Anything on top of nothingness and nonexistence is just gravy. Don't get me wrong, if I'm wrong about there being nothing after death, I'll be happy to be wrong. But if I'm not wrong I'll just be happy to be gone. That will be my consolation prize.
 
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Midnight

Midnight

Beyond solace
Jun 30, 2018
624
I've never had any other thoughts other than complete nothingness after death. Couldn't be more happy about it. When i think about that it's your brain that is essentially "you" and how you perceive being alive/the world arround you. My body is just there to do what the brain tells it to. So if my brain dies everything that is life comes to an end (for me at least).

That's my personal view on the matter.
 
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First loss

First loss

Specialist
Jan 28, 2019
393
I'm really glad death is a state of nonexistence because I don't want to exist.
 
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tomz323

tomz323

Walking to the bus stop
Mar 29, 2019
367
I sure hope that there is nothing after this.
 
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Strumgewehr

Experienced
Jun 7, 2018
271
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Kyrok

Kyrok

Paragon
Nov 6, 2018
970
How does subjective phenomena arise from inert materia?
Brain activity.

Humans and many other animals experience sensory stimuli. Some animals have memory, can deliberate, draw inferences, etc..

Scientists can electronically stimulate brain regions to trigger sensations, including feeling of religious presence.

While there's still much to learnabout how the brain works, evidence is overwhelming that it is the seat of consciousness, not some voodoo extraphysical stuff.
 
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lynn14

lynn14

Member
Apr 21, 2019
72
Brain activity.

Humans and many other animals experience sensory stimuli. Some animals have memory, can deliberate, draw inferences, etc..

Scientists can electronically stimulate brain regions to trigger sensations, including feeling of religious presence.

While there's still much to learnabout how the brain works, evidence is overwhelming that it is the seat of consciousness, not some voodoo extraphysical stuff.

True enough. Octopuses are smart enough to solve puzzles, and beavers are second only to humans in terms of their ability to shape their habitat and environment.They both have brains and die, and then there is nothing left of them, and then new octopi and beavers take their place and think new thoughts, and build new dams.

It's all about the body as a vessel for biochemical and electric activity. You think that you're thinking this as you read it, but really what just happened is nerve tickling.

I'm not a nihilist and I don't think that this state of affairs makes life any more or less meaningful or spiritual, but it is what it is.

I'm a junky old POS radio and the hardware isn't in top form anymore. Unplug me and I stop playing music and the news. I'd gladly throw my old shitty hardware out with the knowledge that I'll never be plugged in again. There will be plenty of juice to go around for all the other radios. But not this radio. It's music playing days are numbered.
 
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Superfluous

Superfluous

...
Mar 16, 2019
973
All these moments will be lost in time like tears in rain.
Not trying to derail the thread, but just had to say I love the Blade Runner quote. Rutger Hauer stole the show in this film.

Please continue...
 
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S

Shamana

Warlock
May 31, 2019
716
Brain activity.

Humans and many other animals experience sensory stimuli. Some animals have memory, can deliberate, draw inferences, etc..

Scientists can electronically stimulate brain regions to trigger sensations, including feeling of religious presence.

While there's still much to learnabout how the brain works, evidence is overwhelming that it is the seat of consciousness, not some voodoo extraphysical stuff.

We cannot locate conscioussness or thoughts. We can however quite easily verify there is a lot of interconnectiveness. We cannot locate memory either although we can verify that damaging certain parts of the brain decreases memory function.
Brain activity.

Humans and many other animals experience sensory stimuli. Some animals have memory, can deliberate, draw inferences, etc..

Scientists can electronically stimulate brain regions to trigger sensations, including feeling of religious presence.

While there's still much to learnabout how the brain works, evidence is overwhelming that it is the seat of consciousness, not some voodoo extraphysical stuff.

I'm the worlds worst buddhist which Is why I've ended up in place, but I have close relationship with a family that I consider to be the most enlightened family in the western world in a buddhist sense and they are crazily clairvoyant which I have experienced countless times. They've done their very best to keep me from ending up where I have, but here now anyway. I'd much prefer to believe though that it's lights out when we die or we go to heaven. Unfortunately it's not what I believe.

I know personal testimony has little scientific value, but examples of their clairvoyance recently would be, when I was becoming determined to commit suicide, I had chosen to do it by Heroin and Morphine although I didn't have the goods yet. I only told this to a psychologist at the hospital and know one else.

When I visited the buddhist couple next time after that, they randomly started talking about how people abuse heroin and morphine while giving me the eye. Later when I had procurred heroin and morphine and I visited them again, the husband who is a world renowned buddhist teacher and translator, started randomingly talking about how Jimi Hendrix died, who I believed died partially from a heroin OD, while his wife looked at me very angrily, which made me confess my plans, and they informed the hospital.

It's kind of difficult to explain, because they don't say "I am clairvoyant and therefore I will tell you x and x". If you enter a master/student relationship with a geniuenly enlightened and clairvoyant teacher, their clairvoyance, simply naturally becomes apparent after a while.

His wife has flat out admitted that she can see pretty much everything when I asked her although they rarily do that. They live a buddhist tradition called "secret yogi" where you may be a fully awakened buddha on the inside, but hide it, so your appear as a normal person on the outside. It's only when you have close relationship that you get to experience some of their supramundane qualities.
 
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Kyrok

Kyrok

Paragon
Nov 6, 2018
970
We cannot locate conscioussness or thoughts. We can however quite easily verify there is a lot of interconnectiveness. We cannot locate memory either although we can verify that damaging certain parts of the brain decreases memory function.

A thought has no location, just as a number has no location. But, the system which is causally responsible for my thoughts resides between my ears. As for location in the brain, many regions are responsible for consciousness.

Note further that fMRI research is giving us incredible amounts of new data regarding the function of different brain regions. No thought is reducible to a single neuron just as what is on your computer screen isn't reducible to a single circuit. But, we do know vastly more about the brain than we did a decade ago.

It is worth dipping into the medical journals to see how far we've come lately.
 
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Mysterymeat

Member
May 24, 2019
41
I've finally come to terms with the fact that death isn't a laser rock show like I'd always hoped. I don't believe that I will "see the light" or that there will be any further sensations or thoughts afterwards, and I now feel that death is a state of total nonexistence. And I'm actually okay with that. I've accepted that. And it feels good to not have any hope for a portal, another life, or another chance at existence. It feels good to have no hope for anything anymore. I really have no expectation of happiness ever again, in this life or after. It feels good to acknowledge and resign myself to that, as disappointing as it is. It is reality.
I think most of us need to come to this belief before we leave this world. I'm just about there. The only thing is...I want to be reunited with a lived one in any way possible. Even if I can't be I am still ok with being non-existent. I just wish I could somehow have contact with my love.

I don't desire anything else. I just don't want to feel pain, I want to feel nothing. I don't know if anyone mediates but sometimes I reach a point where I feel nothingness and it's so hard to come back to reality. It's such a relief.
 

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