Venting It's too expensive to live, but it's also too expensive to die.

[Spiny Lobster]

I literally just got my job back, and now I'm experiencing a lot of self-harm and some suicidal ideation. Part of me wants to get help and go back to the hospital if it gets worse, but then I'll go through the whole medical leave process all over again and most likely lose my job. They're not going to want to keep an employee that experiences frequent bouts of mental health issues.

I am broke as heck right now (since I've been out of a job for a month plus due to medical leave), so I can't really provide for myself or even move out. Moving out would help a lot with my situation, but I don't have the money for it. And I certainly won't have the money if I leave work again just to go to the hospital.

And if I were to die, I can't even imagine all the bills surrounding funeral services, hospital charges, etc. And I wouldn't be paying them -- it'd be my family, who are unfortunate enough to have me living with them.

What am I to do? I'm in a lot of pain right now (physically due to self-harm and mentally due to me being so screwed up) and I have work tomorrow afternoon. I haven't been able to go to bed, either, with my insomnia and taking my Seroquel so late all the time.

In short, I'm f**ked up.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Are you able to claim some kind of welfare if you lose your job? What about reducing your hours for a short time to see if that helps a little? I know none of these will greatly help your financial situation but your meant health is more important I think.
I lost my job in January and have been struggling financially since then. Its hard. Living costs so much, especially when you have debt as well. I have nothing to leave anyone so when I die I have no idea who or what will pay for my funeral. Just know you're not alone. Sending love

 

[Silvermorning]

Stay at the job, if you can, and save money, you'll decide later what to do, with more leeway. For funerals, you can look at insurances or talk directly with a funerary house, to get an estimate of how much would it cost.

Hugging you.

 

[NeverGoodEnuff]

Not sure about other countries, but in the US, if you are an adult (over 18), your debts are paid by your estate. Your family is not responsible for your debts unless they signed for them (like cosigning a loan for your car or a lease agreement). If your debts are more than your assets, the court will decide who gets paid what.

As for funeral expenses, why even have one? Cremation is cheaper than other methods. Family can have a memorial in their home at low to no expense (make it a potluck where people bring home cooked dishes).

Here, if you die a pauper, the county will bury you in a county-owned cemetary for free if you don't want cremation.