It's time for me to go

[Hambo]

This has been coming for a while but I think I'm finally ready to go. There's nothing left for me here.

My options :
-Buy a generator, turn it on in car, die from CO
-Buy a charcoal grill, burn charcoal in car, die in peace from CO
-Find a train, jump in front

I'm leaning more towards option 1. The last person I call will be my ex. She deserves to know why I'm doing this.

 

[Spiko]

The last person I call will be my ex.

And this person will call the police, and the police could locate then your mobile phone and catch you.. Not good, in my opinion.

 

[Jean Améry]

This has been coming for a while but I think I'm finally ready to go. There's nothing left for me here.

My options :
-Buy a generator, turn it on in car, die from CO
-Buy a charcoal grill, burn charcoal in car, die in peace from CO
-Find a train, jump in front

I'm leaning more towards option 1. The last person I call will be my ex. She deserves to know why I'm doing this.

I'm sorry your life has become so rotten you feel like there's nothing left. I'm nearing that point aswell. I hope you find peace whatever you decide to do.

Jumping in front of a speeding train will probably be effective but it will likely traumatize the driver/operator. There's also a chance (small probably) that you'll survive with limbs missing. It's your choice but I wouldn't want to go out that way.

Would you mind sharing how you got to this point?

The best of luck to you.

 

[Hambo]

Oh and my option would be to overdose on IV Fentanyl. But that would involve stealing supplies and I'm not keen on doing that

 

[Ch92921]

This has been coming for a while but I think I'm finally ready to go. There's nothing left for me here.

My options :
-Buy a generator, turn it on in car, die from CO
-Buy a charcoal grill, burn charcoal in car, die in peace from CO
-Find a train, jump in front

I'm leaning more towards option 1. The last person I call will be my ex. She deserves to know why I'm doing this.

Normally, you don't junp in front a train rather you put you head on the track.

 

[Hambo]

And this person will call the police, and the police could locate then your mobile phone and catch you.. Not good, in my opinion.

If I do it in a remote location I might be gone by the time they get to me

I'm sorry your life has become so rotten you feel like there's nothing left. I'm nearing that point aswell. I hope you find peace whatever you decide to do.

Jumping in front of a speeding train will probably be effective but it will likely traumatize the driver/operator. There's also a chance (small probably) that you'll survive with limbs missing. It's your choice but I wouldn't want to go out that way.

Would you mind sharing how you got to this point?

The best of luck to you.

It's a very long story. Basically my dad cheated and left my family when I was a teen, leaving me with massive trust issues. My girlfriend then cheated on me with a guy from her hometown and said I'd ruined her life when I confronted him.

Also, I work as an ambulance officer and when I was an 18 year old newbie I saw a kid kill himself and that really fucked me up. No amount of counselling was gonna fix that.

Things have just built up for a long time. I'm 21 now and I'm ready to leave this world. It will come out of the blue for most of my friends and colleagues but I can't live with this pain any longer

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

It's a very long story. Basically my dad cheated and left my family when I was a teen, leaving me with massive trust issues. My girlfriend then cheated on me with a guy from her hometown and said I'd ruined her life when I confronted him.

Did you say your girlfriend first cheated on you then when you confronted the guy she cheated with she claimed you had ruined her life??? Also, if you don't mind sharing more, what about seeing someone else kill himself was most difficult for you to deal with? (Thanks, if you care to answer.)

 

[Hambo]

Did you say your girlfriend first cheated on you then when you confronted the guy she cheated with she claimed you had ruined her life??? Also, if you don't mind sharing more, what about seeing someone else kill himself was most difficult for you to deal with? (Thanks, if you care to answer.)

Yeah basically I confronted the guy and he got all upset and angry and 'disappeared' for a while. My ex then called me and said she couldn't find him and it was all my fault and I'd ruined her life. He was fine by the way, just went away to cool off.


And in terms of the guy killing himself, he was 13 and hung himself from a tree. I felt so powerless because I couldn't save him and bring him back to his family (who were at the scene)

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

Yeah basically I confronted the guy and he got all upset and angry and 'disappeared' for a while. My ex then called me and said she couldn't find him and it was all my fault and I'd ruined her life. He was fine by the way, just went away to cool off.


And in terms of the guy killing himself, he was 13 and hung himself from a tree. I felt so powerless because I couldn't save him and bring him back to his family (who were at the scene)

Thanks for the honest details. I realize it's not my right to feel upset about your ex, but I do. So I'll respectfully leave that topic alone other than saying I'm sorry that happened to you.

About the 13 year old, if you could go back and save him, but he was adamant that he wanted to die despite everything you said to him, what would you do?

 

[Jean Améry]

Yeah basically I confronted the guy and he got all upset and angry and 'disappeared' for a while. My ex then called me and said she couldn't find him and it was all my fault and I'd ruined her life. He was fine by the way, just went away to cool off.


And in terms of the guy killing himself, he was 13 and hung himself from a tree. I felt so powerless because I couldn't save him and bring him back to his family (who were at the scene)

It seems your ex has a few screws loose. Imo you're well rid of that bitch: such a completely malevolent, selfish creature would have ruined your life eventually. Just be glad you didn't marry her let alone had children with her: that would have been a complete disaster.

I can imagine seeing that poor kid messed you up mentally. You were trained and more than willing to help but you couldn't... That must hurt like hell although you probably know you were not to blame at all.

I'd suggest you tell us everything you want to get off your chest before you go, if that's what you want to do. I need to get back to working but I'll try to reply during my lunch break.

Paramedic seems like a truly meaningful job (unlike my stupid office job, for aslong as I still have it) and I'm sure you saved many lives. Kudos to you.

 

[Hambo]

Thanks for the honest details. I realize it's not my right to feel upset about your ex, but I do. So I'll respectfully leave that topic alone other than saying I'm sorry that happened to you.

About the 13 year old, if you could go back and save him, but he was adamant that he wanted to die despite everything you said to him, what would you do?

I don't think I'd let him do it, even if he was adamant he wanted to die. Although I'm not sure why he did it, there may have been some compelling reasons behind it. I would gladly help someone die if they were old and terminally ill but he was a completely different story. I couldn't do that, I would never forgive myself

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I don't think I'd let him do it, even if he was adamant he wanted to die. Although I'm not sure why he did it, there may have been some compelling reasons behind it. I would gladly help someone die if they were old and terminally ill but he was a completely different story. I couldn't do that, I would never forgive myself

Very interesting. Thanks, again, for your honesty. Hope things look up for you.

 

[Hambo]

E

It seems your ex has a few screws loose. Imo you're well rid of that bitch: such a completely malevolent, selfish creature would have ruined your life eventually. Just be glad you didn't marry her let alone had children with her: that would have been a complete disaster.

I can imagine seeing that poor kid messed you up mentally. You were trained and more than willing to help but you couldn't... That must hurt like hell although you probably know you were not to blame at all.

I'd suggest you tell us everything you want to get off your chest before you go, if that's what you want to do. I need to get back to working but I'll try to reply during my lunch break.

Paramedic seems like a truly meaningful job (unlike my stupid office job, for aslong as I still have it) and I'm sure you saved many lives. Kudos to you.

Every job has meaningful aspects, even 'boring' desk jobs. I genuinely believe that if I'd done a degree and gone into an office job I wouldn't have the mental health issues i have today.

I went into the ambulance service too young. I had no life experience and no idea what to expect. The things I saw changed me forever and I know that there's no way I can go back to the way I was

 

[Jean Améry]

E


Every job has meaningful aspects, even 'boring' desk jobs. I genuinely believe that if I'd done a degree and gone into an office job I wouldn't have the mental health issues i have today.

I went into the ambulance service too young. I had no life experience and no idea what to expect. The things I saw changed me forever and I know that there's no way I can go back to the way I was

I can relate. Seeing my mother puking after she tried to end her life (albeit with harmless household pills and alcohol) completely shifted my perspective on life and not for the better. Mental trauma can change a man forever.

Perhaps you could still pursue a degree which could get you another, less stressful job. Clearly the one you have now has eaten away at you. Maybe it would make life easier for you. An associate's degree is generally not that expensive and could perhaps be undertaken through evening lessons or distance learning.

Of course I support your right to choose whatever you think is the right course of action. It'd be foolish to tell a courageous young man such as yourself what to do. At this point I don't even know what to do myself.

If you'd like to talk more I'm here for you.