Discussion It's starting to feel as if nothing good is waiting for me anymore

[Moroze]

Do you feel the same?

 

[whybother2002]

I relate. Depressed for about 4-5 years now (well, diagnosed at least), but in the last month I completely lost my will to live.

 

[loakms8]

same buddies same


internet hugs for you guys

 

[Freedombus'25]

Yes. Unfortunately I extremely relate.

 

[DontTouchMeImFamous]

Same.

But I think this should be on the Suicide forum...

 

[FuneralCry]

I never saw anything good about this torturous, futile existence that just causes harm and suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, all I feel is dread for what lies ahead and I find it so unbearable how a human can suffer for decades longer just to die in agony from old age, all I want is to be gone, existence is an abomination to me and I wish this existence was never imposed more than anything, for me only non-existence is positive and I'll only be at peace once I'm no longer burdened with this existence I always saw as a mistake, I wish I could erase this existence.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm not sure I believe in fate so- I'm not convinced that guaranteed good or bad things lie on all of our horizons. I think the choices and effort we make steer us closer to good or bad things. Not always of course, we could put in all the effort and still bang into a land mine. But, the general trend I have found is that I needed to work really hard to get the things I wanted.

For me, it's more that the things I used to want so badly just don't look as appealing now. I guess that's experience really- tainting my appreciation. I've worked hard to get that job. I've had a best friend. I've visited nice places. They were only good up to a point. Some were actually bad overall- rather than good! The job for example. So, I've come out of it all with the feeling that- all that glitters isn't gold.

It's not impossible I could achieve more or what I originally wanted but- would it be worth it? I feel so tired now too. I don't want to put in all that effort. I don't want to face things like social anxiety. I don't want to constantly worry about failure. It would be like scaling a vertical cliff face and finding the view dissapointing at the top. What's the point?

So, my tactic now is maintenance. (Which is still hard work.) But, just do what I can to try to ensure things get no worse! I expect there will be a mixed bag of crap on the horizon. I think maybe the best course for me is to try and steer down the middle. Don't overeach for the dangling golden carrot but, don't plummet further down either.