It's so painful to still wanting to end it all despite doing everything "right"

[zdeweilx]

I graduated from college, got a job in a demanding field with a decent salary and I have a girlfriend since 3 years, yet I still want to end it all because of unresolved trauma and recent events that made me realize life is absurd and meaningless.

I wish I hadn't made any efforts and didn't have anything to be proud of, at least feeling this way would make sense
Even doing all the things that normies tell you to do doesn't save you from wanting to end everything.

I wish with all my efforts I could have found a meaning to this existence.

 

[Gangrel]

I get it, my life too isn't that bad but trauma and the absurdity of it all and this stupid planet makes me wanna end it.

 

[zdeweilx]

I get it, my life too isn't that bad but trauma and the absurdity of it all and this stupid planet makes me wanna end it.

You almost feel worse for wanting to end it all despite not being in a situation that is too horrible to deal with.

I wonder how people who live in third world countries and legitimately have nothing to hope for can still have such a strong will to live while we want to end ourselves

 

[suacide]

From the perspective of someone with an absurdly, almost embarrassingly difficult past and practically no future, prospects, family, friends or will left - I get it entirely.

I feel like I can endure a lot of things, a lot of worldly hardships, but for some reason it's always a traumatic events I look back on and blame for the way that I currently think and how desperately I want to get away from this world. I don't think a certain quality of life bars you from thinking this way or going through experiences that can skew the way you think and perceive everything for forever, and I don't think being fortunate in one way makes you fortunate in every other way.

Ultimately, I feel it can happen to anyone in any situation, and I feel like everyone who has to go through it deserves at the very least empathy. The feeling alone is suffering enough.

 

[zdeweilx]

From the perspective of someone with an absurdly, almost embarrassingly difficult past and practically no future, prospects, family, friends or will left - I get it entirely.

I feel like I can endure a lot of things, a lot of worldly hardships, but for some reason it's always a traumatic events I look back on and blame for the way that I currently think and how desperately I want to get away from this world. I don't think a certain quality of life bars you from thinking this way or going through experiences that can skew the way you think and perceive everything for forever, and I don't think being fortunate in one way makes you fortunate in every other way.

Ultimately, I feel it can happen to anyone in any situation, and I feel like everyone who has to go through it deserves at the very least empathy. The feeling alone is suffering enough.

Yes exactly, it's always things in the past that fuck you up. What happens in the present has little to no impact on your past traumas.

I hope you can somehow stop suffering from your past