Venting it's polite to keep your pain to yourself.

[endofeverything]

doesn't it piss you off so fucking much?

people love asking "how are you", "how are things going", "what's new" and such..... but if you were to actually give a genuine and truthful answer that involves talking about your recent struggles, your sadness, and heavens forbid even your suicidality, you'd get looked at funny. from friends and family alike, but ESPECIALLY family. it's funny to me how friends are often more supportive than your own relatives when it comes to things like this.

people don't want to know how things are going. they want you to give a positive answer that gives them a segue for talking about something else. even if they respond to your genuine answer, it's often surface-level, shallow and dismissive.

keeping your pain from others is the polite, proper thing to do. you're not meant to open up and talk about it. you gotta swallow it down and smile. and if you can't smile anymore, you're ruining the fun, the vibes, the party.

i can't pretend or smile. i just wish people would stop asking me what's up if they don't actually wanna deal with the answer.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

"how are you"

Haha yeah good point. "How are you" is more of a compliance check than a genuine inquiry.

 

[WaitingAllMyLife]

And then after you're gone they will say, "if only we had known." It's such a crock. People do not want to hear you're struggling. And if you do share, they will just tell you to get help. A little compassion and empathy would go so far. But no one wants to hear your shit. Very isolating.

I'm sorry you're hurting.

 

[SilentSadness]

I always respond something negative to these questions and then I get asked if it's "the usual kind of negative" or something worse. I think others view suffering as part of me.

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

And if you do share, they will just tell you to get help.

And the standard help is a fist full of psych meds and ta therapy that doesn't work.

A little compassion and empathy would go so far.

At this point I'm not sure it's that people are holding out. It's more like they don't have these qualities. Some study or survey found a significant portion of the population doesn't have an internal dialogue.