It’s over

[Cepi]

If anyone's been reading my posts you know I'm doing a recruit training in the marines but truth be told I don't want to try anymore. I know it's only been what like two days since I said I'm joining but in this just short amount of time it showed me how weak and unstable I am compared to the rest of the people around me. I'm not meant for this world and especially the marines. What else is there for me to do besides live off my mom? Suicide obviously. I think I'm going to talk to my recruiter saying I don't want to go through with this and I'm going to kill my self later this year. I'm done being pathetic. I'm done lying to myself that I can do something but I can't even hold a dam job. I need to be realistic and say you know what I learned a lot about why I'm flawed and why I failed in my life. Maybe this all part of the process and I need to pass on. I don't know I'm stuck here for one more day but I'll just get through it and go home and be a lowlife scum and just spend my time terminally online and commit suicide somehow with the help of this site.

 

[hmskms]

i dont know what it's like in the Marines but perhaps you could stay until you're in possession of a firearm.

but, i would never tell my recruiter i want to off myself. thats like throwing money in a fire, especially w the financial benefits they offer.

just be the happiest person in the world till you can figure out what to do.

 

[Cepi]

i dont know what it's like in the Marines but perhaps you could stay until you're in possession of a firearm.

but, i would never tell my recruiter i want to off myself. thats like throwing money in a fire, especially w the financial benefits they offer.

just be the happiest person in the world till you can figure out what to do.

My recruiter is a decent dude and I don't want to traumatize him. He's been through some shit and I personally think me going though the military for a gun sounds good in practice but legitimately that'll probably ruin my family's reputation and my own. Id rather ctb with sodium nitrite or get a gun through the dark web.
I'm looking for options but I think I want to rest with my time I have left