Venting It's like I'm meant to die!

[Cookiedough8956]

And I'm more than happy with it. I promised my boyfriend I'd book an appt today for a new therapist. I'm so frustrated right now. All of them are booked or not accepting new patients!
Why even keep getting denied and rejected, when I could just end it! Clearly, it's not meant to happen, i guess i'm just mean to deal with pain until the day I get the courage.

 

[Death.]

I escaped death in 2015. I am increasingly convinced that my life will continue to get crappier by the months if I continue to exist until I end this by my own hand.

I am living on "borrowed time". Death beckons. It will not wait for too long. It never does

 

[Sanguinius]

Yeah, feel you.
2 years ago, I decided to wait for a half year until I ctb and try mental health services first. After some moths I get aware that it didn't really helped me, so, I decided to try a mental hospital. I stayed there for 4 months, it was not bad at all. I met some very nice people there, including my ex boyfriend, but things didn't get better. Soooo I decided to wait another half year with alot of chances, including trying a new job, holidays in Norway - my absolutely favourite country, DBT, new medication, new therapist etc.
After one another, all my hopes were denied.
I don't have any energy to go on anymore.

 

[Death.]

Yeah, feel you.
2 years ago, I decided to wait for a half year until I ctb and try mental health services first. After some moths I get aware that it didn't really helped me, so, I decided to try a mental hospital. I stayed there for 4 months, it was not bad at all. I met some very nice people there, including my ex boyfriend, but things didn't get better. Soooo I decided to wait another half year with alot of chances, including trying a new job, holidays in Norway - my absolutely favourite country, DBT, new medication, new therapist etc.
After one another, all my hopes were denied.
I don't have any energy to go on anymore.

It is a sad reality that much of society won't accept the simple fact that not every problem has a solution. Like you, I have exhausted nearly every single option to "improve" to avail.

We cannot continue to endure any more senseless suffering. Every sentient being has limits.

 

[21Neberg]

It is a sad reality that much of society won't accept the simple fact that not every problem has a solution. Like you, I have exhausted nearly every single option to "improve" to avail.

We cannot continue to endure any more senseless suffering. Every sentient being has limits.

Unfortunately many idiots just don't understand this and will keep hitting you with the 'life gets better' advice.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

It is a sad reality that much of society won't accept the simple fact that not every problem has a solution. Like you, I have exhausted nearly every single option to "improve" to avail.

We cannot continue to endure any more senseless suffering. Every sentient being has limits.

That's exactly true. I have yet to try, but I can't even find the motivation to try "everything". For what? I'm gonna end up the same way anyway.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

Unfortunately many idiots just don't understand this and will keep hitting you with the 'life gets better' advice.

I hate this! so much! What do you mean life will get better? Seems to be it's just getting worse the longer I've been here. If that's the case, I would've been fixed ages ago. I feel like all these things build up, so there really isn't a possibility of it "getting better", it will always stick.

 

[deathenvoy]

Yeah, feel you.
2 years ago, I decided to wait for a half year until I ctb and try mental health services first. After some moths I get aware that it didn't really helped me, so, I decided to try a mental hospital. I stayed there for 4 months, it was not bad at all. I met some very nice people there, including my ex boyfriend, but things didn't get better. Soooo I decided to wait another half year with alot of chances, including trying a new job, holidays in Norway - my absolutely favourite country, DBT, new medication, new therapist etc.
After one another, all my hopes were denied.
I don't have any energy to go on anymore.

Similar story to mine. For 2 years therapy, mental hospitals, medications, holidays in Australia, new city, new job, new relationships. Nothing really helped. I have no motivation to live.

 

[JadedGray]

Life has a "funny" way of not working out right when you need it to the most.