Help It's illegal, but should I care?

[AnonymouslyBlue]

The thought of CTB is so frequent nowadays it almost seems like that is all I am capable of thinking about.

But there's this constant nagging at the back of my head about how I'm going to do it, I don't want to disclose too much information about me personally but I live in a country that suicide is taboo and its extremely difficult, quite literally impossible to obtain SN and N and anything related to narcotics to make CTB easier, so I've sort of got my own fantasies about how to go about doing it.

Yet, there is still a concern. The police will most likely do a thorough investigation if I were to go through with it and my body is found and reported to authorities, so I often ask myself if I should just do it at a hotel or at home because either way they'll trace back to where I live, which again, is illegal. At least in the law here, it's illegal where I live and who I live with.

And I know everyone involved, even though none knew of my intentions to leave this world would get punished.

Sometimes it makes me not want to go through with it, just because I don't want to cause the kind of trouble I know will happen when and if I do end it. But then I get angry, at myself because am I really going to continue hurting myself just because the country I live in is backwards and views "these type of things" as a crime for everyone involved or not?

Am I being selfish in my way of thinking?

Should I just go through with it anyways and screw the consequences?

Or should I reach out, see if anyone else can help me in knowing what to do because they're more or less familiar with the situation I'm in?

I'm not really sure what I'm asking for here, so I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense. I guess I just need clarity, or guidance, or both?

Idk

 

[JimFord99]

Stay calm for now, don't make any rushed decisions. Consider your circumstances and your position. There is no selfish way of thinking. CTB need consideration, planning and knowledge. Gain it before you do it, please.

 

[Rachel74]

Stay calm for now, don't make any rushed decisions. Consider your circumstances and your position. There is no selfish way of thinking. CTB need consideration, planning and knowledge. Gain it before you do it, please.

Totally agree here. Never do anything is a rush.

 

[JimFord99]

Totally agree here. Never do anything is a rush.

Glad that Rachel agrees with me. Rush decisions usually lead to failure.

 

[AnonymouslyBlue]

Stay calm for now, don't make any rushed decisions. Consider your circumstances and your position. There is no selfish way of thinking. CTB need consideration, planning and knowledge. Gain it before you do it, please.

I don't want to CTB just of yet, I'm still in that haze of should I do it or not, it's just a reoccurring thought and everytime that it pops up, I'm worried that something will go wrong when I do do it just because of the country I live in.

If I do end up doing it, I want to do it right but it's hard to trust that it will just because of where I am.

 

[Rachel74]

Glad that Rachel agrees with me. Rush decisions usually lead to failure.

I've been there Jim, now it's research and prepare and no rushing.

 

[JimFord99]

Your input is always welcomed here, Rachel.

 

[AnonymouslyBlue]

Totally agree here. Never do anything is a rush.

I completely agree that it shouldn't be rushed, I want to do it right and do it the way that I see fit to end my own life. And for that I need a plan and need to have a clear idea of what's going to happen.

It would just be nice to know how to go about doing that in a place like where I am, I wanted to know if anyone else lives in a place that makes it near impossible to hold onto the hope that their Ctbing will be successful purely because of the location that it's happening. And if so, how would they go about ensuring that it's a success

 

[JimFord99]

I don't want to CTB just of yet, I'm still in that haze of should I do it or not, it's just a reoccurring thought and everytime that it pops up, I'm worried that something will go wrong when I do do it just because of the country I live in.

If I do end up doing it, I want to do it right but it's hard to trust that it will just because of where I am.

This is then a question of doing your research. Take your time, think about it, do not rush into anything.

 

[Wayfaerer]

If I were in your position, I'd think hotel > partial suspension would be the safest route. I'd drink beforehand unless alcohol is banned where you're from like all islamic fundamentalist shitholes.

I take it it is something you absolutely must get right the first time. Talk about pressure...

 

[woxihuanni]

I don't know how much you can travel, but I suppose if I was sure it was time to ctb, I'd just leave for a holiday somewhere civilised, and do it there in a peaceful way.

If it's an islamic shithole, I'd also set my dragon to burn the entire place down before I ctb, but that is not recommended. You need to be careful with dragons.

 

[RightToExit]

Am I being selfish in my way of thinking?

Absolutely not. A government that denies you a right this basic is by definition not a legitimate government. These are the cases where I would support the lawbreakers and undermine the law-enforcers. (They will say they have morality on their side, but they truly don't.)

An important consideration here is the Right to Exit. I see suicide rights as the right to exit life itself. However, it also applies to countries. More liberal countries allow people to emigrate, or at least to visit other countries. If you can get the money and visa to go to another country with more liberal laws for a while, you should consider doing so. If your country denies you even this right, you should seriously consider damaging that totalitarian system from within. (At least that's what I would do.)