Let me warn I'm very drunk and English is not my native language so this is going to be messy.
I have been in this forum first trying to jump from a high height but I didn't have the guts and now I'm trying to take SN. Probably no one remembers me, I'm an insignificant person everywhere.
Decided to do it today or tomorrow late at night. I don't leave home and have no means to do it due to mental health problems. So I have to do it at home. I live with my brothers, they don't care much but if they see me dying they probably are going to call the hospital. Healthcare in my country is bad and I intend to hide the SN before drinking it so I hope that if it comes to that they can't find the cause I'm feeling bad. I'll lock the door and they don't call me much so I hope I can finally go. I have everything needed and I'm trying Stan's guide. I'm just not sure about the Propranolol, I will take it 1 hour before.
I did everything I wanted. I encrypted my HDDs. It's not like it matters much I just don't feel comfortable with people looking into my things. Deleted anything important from my phone. Writing last messages for people who probably won't care but I want to do it anyway. My therapist abandoned me like I'm a piece of trash so I made sure to schedule an e-mail for her. Other than I don't have any hard feelings. I'm hard to like as a person. I won't say it's easy. I keep thinking about how things could have been different if my parents were alive. But there is no use worrying about what can't be changed.
I now screwed up my liver and I'm still here binge drinking it wouldn't take long to die in a much worse way. Because of the alcohol, I'm not sure if I'm going to do it today or tomorrow. It depends on when my alcohol ends and I can wait 8 hours. I won't be eating until then. For now alcohol is making me numb so once this ends I will take Alprazolam to calm me down for the time needed and then drink the SN.
*Edit
Just had a big fight with my brother and it only encouraged me more. Some things happen for a reason. No one gets money here. It is both my uncle and aunt that pay for everything. But because my brother is a smartass he gets most for him. If I wasn't drunk would do it now but I am and I know this isn't going to be good. I'll be sure to leave an epic message for my uncle before go.
It seems we can't add any more messages after our own now or it adds to the the last, so I'm adding it here.
I have been in this forum first trying to jump from a high height but I didn't have the guts and now I'm trying to take SN. Probably no one remembers me, I'm an insignificant person everywhere.
Decided to do it today or tomorrow late at night. I don't leave home and have no means to do it due to mental health problems. So I have to do it at home. I live with my brothers, they don't care much but if they see me dying they probably are going to call the hospital. Healthcare in my country is bad and I intend to hide the SN before drinking it so I hope that if it comes to that they can't find the cause I'm feeling bad. I'll lock the door and they don't call me much so I hope I can finally go. I have everything needed and I'm trying Stan's guide. I'm just not sure about the Propranolol, I will take it 1 hour before.
I did everything I wanted. I encrypted my HDDs. It's not like it matters much I just don't feel comfortable with people looking into my things. Deleted anything important from my phone. Writing last messages for people who probably won't care but I want to do it anyway. My therapist abandoned me like I'm a piece of trash so I made sure to schedule an e-mail for her. Other than I don't have any hard feelings. I'm hard to like as a person. I won't say it's easy. I keep thinking about how things could have been different if my parents were alive. But there is no use worrying about what can't be changed.
I now screwed up my liver and I'm still here binge drinking it wouldn't take long to die in a much worse way. Because of the alcohol, I'm not sure if I'm going to do it today or tomorrow. It depends on when my alcohol ends and I can wait 8 hours. I won't be eating until then. For now alcohol is making me numb so once this ends I will take Alprazolam to calm me down for the time needed and then drink the SN.
*Edit
Just had a big fight with my brother and it only encouraged me more. Some things happen for a reason. No one gets money here. It is both my uncle and aunt that pay for everything. But because my brother is a smartass he gets most for him. If I wasn't drunk would do it now but I am and I know this isn't going to be good. I'll be sure to leave an epic message for my uncle before go.
It seems we can't add any more messages after our own now or it adds to the the last, so I'm adding it here.
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