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HopingOnaMiracle

HopingOnaMiracle

Specialist
Mar 8, 2024
334
My depression has been worsening by the day. More and more I becoming accustomed to the idea that I will CTB. There's almost nothing else going through my mind.

Weirdly enough the thought of me dying is soothing to me. I imagine myself doing it and it makes me feel at peace.

The pain of this hellish life has grown so big I see death as the only way out. My life has been nothing but suffering for 2 years.

Right now I suffer all day. Nothing helps (trust me I tried everything) and nothing can distract me. I spend half of my day on SS.

Its getting real.
All I need is my meto to arrive and I have everything

Just wanted to get this off my chest


Ama I guess
 
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CravingPeace

It’s only a matter of time
Feb 19, 2025
155
I agree with this wholeheartedly, I feel the same. I am becoming obsessed with CTB and I like it. It's worrying. Lol
 
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Thomas Rekowicz

Thomas Rekowicz

Member
Mar 10, 2025
31
I also start spending more and more time on SS. Feeling of emptiness is horryfing but CTB will give me peace. I have my beta blockers it was not easy to get now only need SN and something that sedate me. I am so tired i know how you feel.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
41,083
My existence is just suffering as well, I understand finding it hellish to exist, for me personally ceasing to exist truly is the only peace. But anyway I wish you the best.
 
HopingOnaMiracle

HopingOnaMiracle

Specialist
Mar 8, 2024
334
I agree with this wholeheartedly, I feel the same. I am becoming obsessed with CTB and I like it. It's worrying. Lol
I think about ctb all day. That's why I spend so much time on SS. The only place where I can freely talk about it without pro lifers trying to keep me here
I also start spending more and more time on SS. Feeling of emptiness is horryfing but CTB will give me peace. I have my beta blockers it was not easy to get now only need SN and something that sedate me. I am so tired i know how you feel.
I only need meto and I'm ready. I'm very very tired too. Slept until 3 pm today. Sleep is the only time I get peace
My existence is just suffering as well, I understand finding it hellish to exist, for me personally ceasing to exist truly is the only peace. But anyway I wish you the best.
I feel the exact way. Could've been me who wrote that.
 

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