Venting It's easy for other people to leave me

[belly.up4good]

I've been told 'I can live without you' and seen how easy it is for people to leave me, but it's hard for me to be without them. It's not that I want them to suffer or go crazy about me, I just, feel..it's hard to explain. Edit: I'm just passionate about people. I love deeply and spiritually and everything. And 'I would do anything for you' but like..I guess...it's easy to rebuke? It hurts I've been told such loving things but they didn't stick to what they said. I wanna explore the world with them and be with them all the time. I wanna do everything with them. People don't want that with me. I get it. It's not..really normal to. I've always wanted that one person you just hangout with all the time and just live life with. Why is it so hard for someone to want me. Why is it so easy for people to live without me. I just feel so unloved and unwanted and discarded. How could you do that to me

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

I've been feeling like this since my wife just left me unceremoniously without warning after 20 years together. For her was easy to leave me, whereas I'm absolutely devastated by it. I've had other friendships go that way, too. I think it's because I'm autistic, I can mask it but people just don't feel connected with me the same as with other neurotypical people.

 

[princessame]

That says more about the people you were with than about you. By default, no one is truly unlovable or easily discardable-- just some people find it much easier to do such a thing. I suffer from this-- not as one who is easy to discard, but one who discards easily. It's not that I don't really care about those people, but more that i'm afraid of getting hurt, so I try to push them away before any drastic things can happen to me.
I've been working on not doing this, though. It's really hard to learn trust and vulnerability and letting people stay, but I've been working on it.
Just know that it was NEVER your fault that those people did such hurtful things. Maybe they have their own issues going on, but none of those issues will ever be you.
I hope you can find someone who will truly appreciate you for who you are and make you feel wanted, even if it's just one person. You deserve only the best, I know that to be true.