Venting its childish but comments like these irritate me

[dazednconfused]

...because it feels like theyre dumbing down my struggles and feelings. do people really think everything is so shallow and simple? every heartbreak represents something more, a million things. lol please, i was researching ways to die when we were together, not because of him, things were fine. i just couldnt stand the fact i had good things and still was overcome with the feeling of sorrow and a desire to end my life.
this was just a cherry on top lol.
not from anyone here jsyk, a tarot reader lol

what they said + my response, in case anyone resonates with either side.

I feel that's always possible, but he's not the only guy out there for you. Even though it hurts now, heartbreak isn't a forever thing and if you are going to kill yourself, a man you have not met yet should not be one of those reasons. I apologize of this is blunt. It's not to be mean.

hes a part of the reason, but its not just him. its what it all represents and my whole life though short, of highs and lows. of people breaking my trust. of getting hurt, i know this is the most of the world. heartbreak is not forever, but the pain that comes back and goes and comes back is. always has been since i was a little kid

i can so easily have things in the palm of my hand, and the way the world works, it can be taken away much easier

to deal with that my whole life, well im sorry but that just sounds miserable. work hard, get something, lose it, work harder, just for a few moments of good and satisfaction, fall again

this is life

yes

and i accept that it is

but thats why id rather not lol..

im a coward and im lazy and do not want to struggle

especially since its so intense

it will only get more intense as i grow

and i have more responsibility

i'm not looking to my future for solace because there is no solace in a future that isnt promised to you

all i have now is the present

thats all thats real

nd so i can pray

but i cant change the minute to minute moment to moment facts

whatever could be out there for me, none of that is promised

i can only reliably judge based on the present.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

This is why I don't understand it when people even on this very site talk about heartbreak or relationship issues being an invalid reason to ctb. I don't know what they're going through or what's on my mind so who am I to judge them? Also, it tends to be more nuanced than a mere heartbreak as your post indicates. For example, if you got a heartbreak once, who says that it won't happen again? Your reasons for wanting to ctb is valid

 

[dazednconfused]

This is why I don't understand it when people even on this very site talk about heartbreak or relationship issues being an invalid reason to ctb. I don't know what they're going through or what's on my mind so who am I to judge them? Also, it tends to be more nuanced than a mere heartbreak as your post indicates. For example, if you got a heartbreak once, who says that it won't happen again? Your reasons for wanting to ctb is valid

thank you, i really appreciate it. im really tired of people putting me down and saying im immature or i'm just doing it over some guy. they dont understand every other mental struggle and how embarrassing it is and how much it hurts to only be capable of feeling passionately about someone else, just to have it ripped from you. when you already struggle. its painful.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

thank you, i really appreciate it. im really tired of people putting me down and saying im immature or i'm just doing it over some guy. they dont understand every other mental struggle and how embarrassing it is and how much it hurts to only be capable of feeling passionately about someone else, just to have it ripped from you. when you already struggle. its painful.

This makes me somewhat glad that I'm not fully attached to anybody in that way as it would hurt so much if they left. I'm sorry for your pain and I hope you find peace soon

 

[passer-by]

In my opinion, reasons for ctb are incommensurable. Everyone sees world differently and everyone is prone to be affected more by different aspects of life.

It is actually the fact that one's SOLUTION to problems is contemplating ctb which needs to be focused on. If they're trying to help that is.

So yeah, this is a very shallow way of trying to change your mind and/or give you a comfort but hey, I myself don't know what would actually help me so I can't really judge these people too harshly.

Maybe in the end we're just want to be heard without having our personal views and feelings doubted and invalidated. Even if it's just a subjective truth that we're seeing.

 

[Reflection]

A lot of people just can't wrap their heads around the fact that not everybody is the same, and try to force their views on others, and it's kind of ironic that there are people like that even on here.

I can agree that suicide shouldn't be the first solution to anything, but if we're gonna start downplaying others' reasons and experiences by projecting our own then we might as well start a dick measuring contest to see who has it worse...it's stupid...

Also, one could argue that most troubles aren't a forever thing, but there's simply no way to know until that "forever" comes...
It sometimes feels like you're being forced into an abusive relationship with someone who always keeps hurting you while being told to give them a chance because they might change even when there's no sign they will.....and it just gets to a point where enough is enough...and even if they do change there's some damage that may just be irreversible. Sometimes we do need guidance from others, but ultimately only the individual can know and exactly how they feel.

 

[dazednconfused]

A lot of people just can't wrap their heads around the fact that not everybody is the same, and try to force their views on others, and it's kind of ironic that there are people like that even on here.

I can agree that suicide shouldn't be the first solution to anything, but if we're gonna start downplaying others' reasons and experiences by projecting our own then we might as well start a dick measuring contest to see who has it worse...it's stupid...

Also, one could argue that most troubles aren't a forever thing, but there's simply no way to know until that "forever" comes...
It sometimes feels like you're being forced into an abusive relationship with someone who always keeps hurting you while being told to give them a chance because they might change even when there's no sign they will.....and it just gets to a point where enough is enough...and even if they do change there's some damage that may just be irreversible. Sometimes we do need guidance from others, but ultimately only the individual can know and exactly how they feel.

yea, i think they dont underdstand that its not my first reason though. they went on to say that theyre homeless rn and suicidal but theyre not killing themselves and 'why not just learn to deal with more responsibilty?' MAN. DUDE. THATS... VHAT IVE BEEN DOING?? every day i try and these people basically just say im doing it wrong or i didnt try hard enough not realizing thats the very reason im fucking ending it like, yea its not enough, i fucking know that. and ive tried so much to make it enough but its not and im even more ashamed knowing i dont even have it that hard but still cant function like why do people act like i want to die, like i dont want to be happy 'your happiness is in your control' if it was then fuck dude id be happy all the time, you think i am choosing to suffer and want to kill myself everytime i hit a minor inconvenience, i trry and fall back down every time nd if this is the cycle for the rest of my life, i just cant do it...

In my opinion, reasons for ctb are incommensurable. Everyone sees world differently and everyone is prone to be affected more by different aspects of life.

It is actually the fact that one's SOLUTION to problems is contemplating ctb which needs to be focused on. If they're trying to help that is.

So yeah, this is a very shallow way of trying to change your mind and/or give you a comfort but hey, I myself don't know what would actually help me so I can't really judge these people too harshly.

Maybe in the end we're just want to be heard without having our personal views and feelings doubted and invalidated. Even if it's just a subjective truth that we're seeing.

yeah, i dont mind their attempt at comforting and its fine but what they went on to say just aggravated me more and it feels callous.. when people say this, say theres somebody else, or stuff like that, i just want to die more. because they also tell me 'youre not determined enough, you should live for yourself and what you want' until what i want doesnt fit into their definition of 'right' and then its 'well it didnt work so you should move on cus theres probably better or other stuff for you out there anyways' THEN whats the fucking point of caring about anything or wanting anything or even being selfish and determined at ALL?

 

[Forever Sleep]

If I'm honest, I think it's sometimes how we probably all phrase things. I don't know- because you didn't include what you said to begin with but, I think when we are newly hurt by someone or, convinced we loved them, it can feel like things will never change/ be the same. So, we can all say stuff like:

'I'll never love again.' (Impossible to know.)

'No person will ever love me like they did.' (Again- unknown.)

'It will never be like this again.' (Again- quite possible- love with another person might never measure up. It may end up being better!)

'I'll never trust again.' (I guess that is entirely possible but, if someone genuine did come along, it might change things.)

'I'll never get over this.' (You might in a few years time, or it may well stay with you forever.)

Of course, I don't know whether you said anything like the above. I suspect the person you were talking to has perhaps gone through breakups or whatever that, they felt similar enough to your situation to offer their perspective. That certain things feel like the end of the world at the time but in years to come, we have actually gotten over them.

That all said- I completely see it from your perspective. When everything else is shit as well. This is just one more thing and you don't even want to hang around to see if things change. Plus, change takes so much effort. It requires us to take risks and trust again which, may not even feel worth it after so many bad experiences.

I suppose it's just the phrasing- 'I'll never do this, I'll never have this, this will never happen to me.' The truth is, we simply don't know that- it could go either way but, I totally get the feeling of- I don't even want to hold on to find out! Plus yeah- it hardly diminishes how badly you're feeling now- I'm sorry.