Venting It's been a year, and I'm still here.

[ThinkingOutLoud]

Despite all odds, I am still alive.

To say it's been a rough year for me would be an understatement. As my previous posts say, my now ex had broken up with me a year ago, and I survived my plans for May 30th 2023.

I'm 22 years old now, and I don't really feel like I'm in much better of a spot. I'd found out my ex began dating her "gay friend" just about a day or two after dumping me. She's gone on a few tantrums now, and goes out of her way to harass and bother me whenever she can. I've woken up to my phone being blown up by her a few times in the last year, despite me never saying a word to her after September of 2023.

Either way, all the stuff with her aside:

Right now I don't have a job. I haven't for almost two months. I got fired from my job sometime back in late may. I don't remember the exact day, but it's getting stressful. My resources are rapidly depleting, and everywhere I have applied to has not gotten back to me. I'm running out of luck, and options very quickly.

I'm pretty happy to say I haven't really been thinking about CTB until incredibly recently. For the last 4-5 or so months I've been pretty optimistic, and happy about the life I've built separated from my ex, and any of the friends I had made through her. Without having a job or reliable income, I feel the walls closing in on me again. I've been consistently broke enough that I can't eat regularly on most days, and I just feel like a waste.

I don't want to spend the next 60 years of my life continuing to do this same song and dance day in and day out. I figure I will figure something out, or CTB by the end of the year. What do I do?

 

[Throwawayacc3]

I'm 35 but side note I like your UmJammy Lamma profile pic. Have you played Parappa The Rapper 2? It made me somewhat happy when I got it in release day for the PS2.

 

[Dark Window]

When you said your ex harassed you, may I asked what sort of messages they were sending to you?

 

[ThinkingOutLoud]

When you said your ex harassed you, may I asked what sort of messages they were sending to you?

Mostly stuff they thought would get under my skin. Stuff about past... "intimate" interactions (typical things women say to men after breakups), almost direct admission of cheating, insulting stuff about my appearance, saying "You live just around the corner" in weird and threatening ways, etc.

She's kind of stupid and childish looking back on things, so she would use very immature and bizarre threats like "I hope a bird collides with your face and breaks your nose" (direct quote)

I'm 35 but side note I like your UmJammy Lamma profile pic. Have you played Parappa The Rapper 2? It made me somewhat happy when I got it in release day for the PS2.

Never got to play them on release days, but I've always been a big fan of the series. I have played Parappa 2 quite a few times. I make it a point to replay the series every few years.

 

[Dark Window]

Mostly stuff they thought would get under my skin. Stuff about past... "intimate" interactions (typical things women say to men after breakups), almost direct admission of cheating, insulting stuff about my appearance, saying "You live just around the corner" in weird and threatening ways, etc.

She's kind of stupid and childish looking back on things, so she would use very immature and bizarre threats like "I hope a bird collides with your face and breaks your nose" (direct quote)

In reality then you should see what happened as a fucking blessing mate. She sounds like a cunt, no offence to you.

But then again I don't know her side.

Just move on, heal and you may find someone better than her.

 

[ThinkingOutLoud]

In reality then you should see what happened as a fucking blessing mate. She sounds like a cunt, no offence to you.

But then again I don't know her side.

Just move on, heal and you may find someone better than her.

I wasn't perfect to her during the relationship. There's a lot of stuff I regret, and thinking back on could have probably handled better. At the same time, I never cheated on her, screamed at her, threw things at her, and drained her of all of her money through guilt the way that she did to me.

The more time that goes on, I realize we were two incompatible people, that somehow managed to spend two years together without realizing. I know there are better people than her out there, and I certainly don't ever want to repeat the mistake I made with her.

 

[Dark Window]

I wasn't perfect to her during the relationship. There's a lot of stuff I regret, and thinking back on could have probably handled better. At the same time, I never cheated on her, screamed at her, threw things at her, and drained her of all of her money through guilt the way that she did to me.

The more time that goes on, I realize we were two incompatible people, that somehow managed to spend two years together without realizing. I know there are better people than her out there, and I certainly don't ever want to repeat the mistake I made with her.

I would never let a partner drain money from me, it would threaten my control.

In the future, value your own control. Vulnerability is only a good strategy around others who respect vulnerability, unless they do respect it, then don't be vulnerable. Control.