Venting It's back

[Tiedie]

The suicidal shit. The crying. The desperate need to make it stop. No one to listen. I have people in my life but when I speak I get no response. I was so happy and now everything I worked for is gone in the blink of an eye. My life line was my job. Corona destroyed that. I feel a lot of peope will ctb over losing everything. At least I know where to look....sorry for the vent. I don't need a response or attention, just a place to scream.

 

[SuiSqueeze92]

The suicidal shit. The crying. The desperate need to make it stop. No one to listen. I have people in my life but when I speak I get no response. I was so happy and now everything I worked for is gone in the blink of an eye. My life line was my job. Corona destroyed that. I feel a lot of peope will ctb over losing everything. At least I know where to look....sorry for the vent. I don't need a response or attention, just a place to scream.

Don't feel alone in this boat, just hang in there and keep breathing. If you have a laptop and internet try looking into an online work from home type of job? The good thing is you scream on here and not in front of people though! Lol positive right??

 

[Tiedie]

It took me 10 years to achieve the pay that I am at now. I can't do it again. I was fortunate enough to have a boss I could tell anything to, including my mental health. Everythings just gone. This was the only year I felt like an actual adult. The urge to cut is back so I see myself declining. I work with dogs so I'm losing them too.I will not hesitate this time. When I spiral out I will not come back. I guess journaling for strangers is positive. My cause of death should be listed as poverty. No one is going to pay me what I was making.

 

[Kumachan]

At least it doesnt sound like this was any of your fault, this fucking corona just happened... Probably its not much of a consolation...

 

[Rockman]

What you were making?

 

[Tiedie]

I just made it up to 45k a year. The biggest blow is losing my boss who understood and worked around my problems. My work family has been dismantled. I could be as open as i I wanted to be about anything. It saved my life and now I'm so lost.
Finding a place paying a livable wage and to be understanding, maybe. Highly unlikely I will tho. No college degree... I'm so tired. I don't want to deal with this manic episode that is gearing up. I don't want to open up to new people. I don't want to burden my parents again. I dont feel like I'm giving up, I feel like I'm facing facts.