Venting It's Always The Same Argument

[Viafactorum]

I had a talk with my family about my suffering. The mental anguish I experience on a daily basis, and how a less than ideal childhood has resulted in me becoming absolutely useless as an adult. I don't know why I even did this, maybe it was the all bottled up anxiety finally making me crack since I have decided that I will be making my exit very soon. Even though I have heard it thousands of times it still hurt when they started saying how I have it so good compared to some kid in Africa eating plastic to live. Yes I understand that there are people in far more miserable situations than me but is that reason enough to invalidate my fears and anxieties? I also understand that it is hard for them to understand my perspective because for my parents, life has been an eternal struggle from the time they were born and things like depression and anxiety were problems they didn't have the time to deal with.

That being said this constant misery comparison from the beginning of my life on this dogwater planet has caused me to ignore my emotional well being. Today I got the final push to overcome my SI, knowing that there is none in this world that will ever take the effort to understand me nor acknowledge my emotions. If this was a few years ago I would have been terrified, because I considered my life to be worth something. Not anymore, I feel at peace knowing that I will be able to pass on from this world very soon. I hope there isn't some karmic cycle that shits me back into this world because I cannot imagine a torture worse than being alive. I don't care if there is heaven or hell, I am most probably going to hell, but I am not bothered by it. I would take whatever torture purgatory has to throw at me over this cursed life.

I'd like to tell all the people in this world suffering from similar circumstances that there is hope, but I can't. You're all fucked, just like me. Maybe you people are stronger than me and can somehow survive these waves of sadness and anxiety and somehow brave the ignorance of people that call themselves your "loved ones." But even if you do all that I doubt you will find any meaning in this crowded and dying world. In any case I wanted to write this down. I wish I was wrong about this world, but I'm not. The realization hurts more than the effects I've endured till now.

Vale

 

[FuneralCry]

Just because others have it worse doesn't mean that we are not suffering. To me, it is wrong to invalidate what someone else is going through. After all, we all have different limits as to what we can cope with in life. I would never see it as a good idea to share how I feel with those that could never understand. I personally do not believe in any afterlife, I think that when we cease to exist, that is it for us, we are gone. I look forward to non existence and it is all I want. I hope that you find relief from your suffering.

 

[TheLastFemaphrodyke]

I had to remove myself from my family and all of my friends for the same toxic reason.
Does not matter how you or they or anyone else would feel or react to my circumstances, the circumstances are mine and the reaction is mine because I am me and have gone through the experiences I have that have made me.

The same goes for you and every single other being on this planet.

 

[veryhappyhuman]

Even though I have heard it thousands of times it still hurt when they started saying how I have it so good compared to some kid in Africa eating plastic to live.

"We put a roof over your head and made sure you had 3 meals a day. Do you know how many succeed in life without these?"

Yep, been there, heard that (x 1 million times since childhood).

 

[ewigeruhe]

I am in the same spot althoguh i never talked with anyone about how i feel apart from my interactions in this community so far.
And in reality i just don't care. Whatever i did in life nothing changed for the better and i am constantly alone even under people.
When my best buddy died in 2006 i felt envy that it wasn't me that was free at last.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Even though I have heard it thousands of times it still hurt when they started saying how I have it so good compared to some kid in Africa eating plastic to live

When people use arguments like these, they just assume that your life won't end up as bad as the starving kid in Africa. It can happen easily, even in first world countries, and it has happened multiple times to people on this site, some of whom have already CTB because of homelessness. If such a thing did happen to you, I'm sure your family would come up with some other empty, pro-life platitude that they think will convince you to stay alive.

I hope I can overcome the SI soon as well. I'm sure it feels nice knowing that you can just leave whenever you want to, and nothing anyone says can make you feel afraid. I've known for years that I'm fucked, so it's just a matter of time.

 

[iookforwardtonext]

So sorry you're in this situation. It sounds awful, I hope you're okay.

 

[Dead Ghost]

To me when they started to compare my personal situation with other people living in countries with worse living conditions I always came out with the same question: "But do you really think that someone like me would have had any chance of surviving there?

They don't realize that we are alive because we were born here and that we would probably be dead soon after we were born there... as I suppose it must really happen with many people who will never live past childhood because they were born in certain geographical areas.

But it's been quite a few years since anyone has said anything to me about it.

//

A mi quan em començaven a comparar la meva situació personal amb d'altres persones que viuen en països en pitjors condicions per viure sempre els hi espetava la mateixa pregunta: " Però de debó creus que algú com jo hagués tingut cap oportunitat de sobreviure allà".

No se n'anadonen que estem vius pel fet d'haver nascut aquí i que probablement allà seriem ben morts al poc de nèixer... com suposo que deu passar realment amb moltes persones que mai passaràn de la infància per haver nascut en determinades zones geogràfiques.

Però ja fa força anys que ningú em diu res sobre això.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yeah, I truly hate misery contests where your shitty life experiences are supposed to look a whole lot better when you compare them to people who are so much worse off.

Just because we feel sorry for ourselves, doesn't mean we don't feel pitty for those people too. One doesn't cancel the other out though. It just adds guilt into our unhappy mix.

Regarding the starving child in Africa- of course, it's utterly horrendous to see. Honestly, I guess I'm just really naive but I don't understand why people who are living terrible lives choose to bring another life into the world to suffer alongside them. That goes for first and third world countries. I truly wouldn't want to bring an innocent life into this world- and that's in relatively good circumstances.

But yeah, I feel your pain and I'm so sad and sorry for you. I wish you all the best in whatever you decide to do.

 

[whatevs]

It is laughably retarded to pretend someone that isn't suicidal is 'more miserable' than the suicidal one. News flash: they're not, that's why they're NOT suicidal. So this whole angle of saying someone that's not suicidal has it worse than you is incomplete. What could make sense would be to wonder what do these people have that you don't, since they seem to be coping well with harder circumstances. But this can only yield two results: they have something that's attainable to you, or that it isn't. Be it an attitude, a friend, whatever it is. If it's attainable you can exert yourself for it, if it isn't you are pushed more convincingly to suicide.