Venting Its almost time for me to say goodnight

[Lornenihonium]

I am going full suspension hanging very soon, living with a paranoid schizophrenic and chronic severe pain in my appendix are the top reasons, also i manage to pull away everybody who once cared about me due to my raging alcoholism and suicidal thoughts, i will hang myself with a 16 mm polyester rope from a celling beam of the garage, it will be full suspension and i will use a simple slipknot, does anybody know if it is possible to grab the beam with your hands and pull yourself up preventing strangulation?, i will do it in the middle of the night, the neighbours or my family might see me or hear the chair kicking but It is unlikely, my greatest fear is SI kicking in and i somehow prevent the strangulation after i kick the chair, all i have to do is overcome the SI, take the pain for a while and say goodnight to this world, i would like someone to remember my story even if it is oversimplified, i was once a happy and smart litlle boy, loved and cared about, happy days who are now gone, now i will be a dead 19 year old brazilian that lived in torture for several years, i hate everything about my life from my country to my family, i do belive in a god and in reincarnation and the thought of being reborn with a normal family, in a first world country, being pain free, having a normal job and normal friends, basicaly a normal life, this thought causes me unbelivable happiness and is part of the reason i will off myself, the risk of failing is significant and the consequences would be a catastropy but is a risk i will have take, all the years of research come to this, may God have mercy on my soul

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Godspeed

 

[supermario]

I wish you the very best of luck, and more importantly, peace. Your soul deserves better than the life you just described.

 

[Kennish]

I hope you find peace

 

[Idontrecognizemyself]

i do belive in a god and in reincarnation and the thought of being reborn with a normal family, in a first world country, being pain free, having a normal job and normal friends, basicaly a normal life, this thought causes me unbelivable happiness

What a beautiful thought . I hope you find peace and tranquility, my friend. Chronic pain is a bitch, I can't imagine what you've had to go through. Thank you for sharing your story, we will take care of that memory.

 

[Rayzieka]

i hope everything turns out how you wish

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best with your plans. I hope you find what you are looking for. Life is just so horrible, I'm sorry you had to go through all this.

 

[Huntfish34]

I wish you Nothing but peace in whatever may happen.

Blessings and prayers to you forever and Always.

 

[meetapple]

May peace be with you.