It's all ready... I just cant bring myself to do it

[ancryxia]

I took my tagamet. My meto and ibuprofen are sitting down waiting for me to take them. My mixture of SN is ready to drink. I just can't fucking do this. I'm such a coward. But it isnt just fear. Its immense guilt. I have a good family and I'm in love with somebody and I have a rewarding future but the pain in my mind is why I want to go. The way I see the world, I just cant see happiness in it anymore. But I need to live for them. I'm so confused and sick. What do I do at this point? Do I take it and just leave everything behind or live for them. I just don't know.

Update: I got scared and my partner called me so I dumped the SN down the drain. Who knows, I'll probably just try again soon if everything goes to shit. I still have all I need. Idk. Maybe I do have some sort of chance in this fucked world. I heavily doubt it though. Goodnight.

 

[Schopenhauer]

Good night. I hope things improve for you.

 

[Fellow]

Sorry it didn't work out for you. I don't think you are a coward.

 

[Empty Smile]

Don't call yourself a coward. Suicide is not an easy thing to go through. As you close in on your chosen date, your anxiety flares up, and seconds thoughts do become the norm.

Some are able to do it without a second thought, and in this case, your second thoughts have you questioning your motives.

Just relax and think things through, sometimes life changes for the better, and then for some of us, it continues to take a shit on us.

 

[Roph]

You're not a coward. Many have second thoughts. If suicide was so easy, there wouldn't be so many people here.

 

[dysfunctional]

Its damn hard.

 

[Ashpac]

I took my tagamet. My meto and ibuprofen are sitting down waiting for me to take them. My mixture of SN is ready to drink. I just can't fucking do this. I'm such a coward. But it isnt just fear. Its immense guilt. I have a good family and I'm in love with somebody and I have a rewarding future but the pain in my mind is why I want to go. The way I see the world, I just cant see happiness in it anymore. But I need to live for them. I'm so confused and sick. What do I do at this point? Do I take it and just leave everything behind or live for them. I just don't know.

Update: I got scared and my partner called me so I dumped the SN down the drain. Who knows, I'll probably just try again soon if everything goes to shit. I still have all I need. Idk. Maybe I do have some sort of chance in this fucked world. I heavily doubt it though. Goodnight.

Its okay dont sweat it. Its just not your time yet.

 

[bigj75]

I don't understand the coward thing. Suicide is one of if not the hardest things to do in the world. Mainly in my opinion because nobody is going to help ensure you die peaceful and quick. Survival instinct is a bitch.

 

[Ashpac]

I don't understand the coward thing. Suicide is one of if not the hardest things to do in the world.

I always say this in my real life not just on here. So true.

 

[bag.of.cats]

Don't worry, I did the same a few months ago, with the mixture in front of me, ready to drink it. Take your time, there's no rush.

 

[Trashcan]

You're not a coward. It's very hard to go through with suicide.

 

[TAW122]

You aren't a coward, the survival instinct is a bitch and there are days where I (intellectually) have thought I've conquered it, but yet it continues to sow seeds of doubt in me. There have been the rare instances where I'm like "fuck it, I'll go" but back then, I lacked a proper method so I couldn't go through. Anyways, I hope things either improve or that you are able to muster the courage again in the future.

 

[Sick Boy]

Suicide is the most important decisión in a person´s life,dont feel bad if you´re prepared

 

[TiredHorse]

I'll add one more voice to the chorus: You aren't a coward. The survival instinct is brutal to overcome.