Venting its all pointless

[garbagekan]

my only options are to constantly think about eating or constantly think about dying. since i have to eat right now i just want to kill myself more than ever. then i feel guilty for eating and then guilty not being able to do the things people want me to do. they cant seem to understand i want to do those things too. i hate having to keep living i wish any of my attempts worked im so tired of it all but if you want to die and not get better people just hate or abandon you because youre not worth being around. its all so pointless and hopeless to do anything at all. i just want to lay and rot in my bed until i die

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

my only options are to constantly think about eating or constantly think about dying. since i have to eat right now i just want to kill myself more than ever. then i feel guilty for eating and then guilty not being able to do the things people want me to do. they cant seem to understand i want to do those things too. i hate having to keep living i wish any of my attempts worked im so tired of it all but if you want to die and not get better people just hate or abandon you because youre not worth being around. its all so pointless and hopeless to do anything at all. i just want to lay and rot in my bed until i die

Fully agree; they only love you when you are useful to them in some way

 

[iloverachel]

Agreed and can relate. Life is pointless, i've been rotting in bed for 8 years nobody cares anyway