I have now graduated college and I wish I had never bothered. All the typing and bad posture has left me with osteoarthritis and spine problems, everything hurts all the time. It's not bad enough for disability though and even if I did get disability that's no way to live life. I have so much debt and I don't even know what to do for a job. Everything good in life requires charisma and spine shit is like a -100 charisma modifier. It wouldn't be like this if I'd just been able to get shoulder surgery when the problem was fixable but my fucking idiot parents wouldn't help me and I tried to power through and the inflammation just took over my entire neck and then my hands.
So I'm sitting here trying to update my shit ass Linked In page and my personal website but I just don't care anymore. I think I'm going to start looking for fentanyl again maybe this time I'll have the balls to try ordering it. It would be such a relief to just fucking check out permanently, chalk everything up as the complete loss that it is before I'm out on the street.
So I'm sitting here trying to update my shit ass Linked In page and my personal website but I just don't care anymore. I think I'm going to start looking for fentanyl again maybe this time I'll have the balls to try ordering it. It would be such a relief to just fucking check out permanently, chalk everything up as the complete loss that it is before I'm out on the street.
