It would be so unbelievably, ridiculously easy...

[GoodPersonEffed]

...to say I found a Mexican vet pharmacy source for N, watch the PM notifications tick up by the second, dangle some carrots, send people on expensive wild goose chases, and maybe even scam a little cash.

...to say I'm seeking a ctb partner, and simultaneously catfish multiple desperate and lonely members of every gender.

...to send PMs to catfish friendships and utterly fuck with others' psyches.

...to say something horrible happened to me today and up my hug and aw reacts.

...to say I'm going to ctb right now/in an hour/in the morning/in a week and watch people beg me to reconsider, resignedly wish me well, envy me my courage and impending death, and up my hug, heart, and aw reacts.

...to say I just attempted to ctb and backed out/was interrupted/failed and am in dire straights, and slowly reveal the story question by question, answer by answer, and up my hug, heart, aw, and wow reacts.

...to make innumerable tortured lives worse.


At every moment since joining SS two months ago, I have held thousands of hearts - those of members and guests alike - at the mercy of my fingertips.

My fingertips do many things on this forum. They're very busy. They soothe, comfort, support, suggest, suspect, protect, defend, debate, philosophize, speak my mind, speak my heart, forgive, and sometimes fight. They are the most sincere and honest fingertips I have ever met, they are imperfect, and I am proud they are mine.

It would not at all be easy for me to do the things I listed.

But it is for some.

There is no remotely sufficient react for that.

 

[Cashewmilk]

I'm the same... I'm super honest and forthcoming, I like to give the most honest truthful details, I can't make things up or lie or exaggerate, I don't know why I've never been that way... I expect others to be the same but I'm not so sure if most people are or if it's a minority. My sister likes to make things up and manipulate people, she says everyone does it ‍I do it especially if I'm anonymous, I mean why would you lie if you're anonymous? Anyway yeah there's a ton of sick and twisted people out there who get their rocks off on using and abusing others. I just don't have that mentality.

 

[Lorntroubles]

I see copycat posts too. Once one birthday post goes up, many more follow.

Sympathy fishin' ain't cool!

Playing these scamming games ain't cool! Neither are manipulation games!

SS should be a comfortable place for us to talk about what is bothering us. We don't need people trying to ruin that comfort.

Not everyone is out to lie but don't tread blindly!

 

[Deleted member 1465]

...to say I found a Mexican vet pharmacy source for N, watch the PM notifications tick up by the second, dangle some carrots, send people on expensive wild goose chases, and maybe even scam a little cash.

...to say I'm seeking a ctb partner, and simultaneously catfish multiple desperate and lonely members of every gender.

...to send PMs to catfish friendships and utterly fuck with others' psyches.

...to say something horrible happened to me today and up my hug and aw reacts.

...to say I'm going to ctb right now/in an hour/in the morning/in a week and watch people beg me to reconsider, resignedly wish me well, envy me my courage and impending death, and up my hug, heart, and aw reacts.

...to say I just attempted to ctb and backed out/was interrupted/failed and am in dire straights, and slowly reveal the story question by question, answer by answer, and up my hug, heart, aw, and wow reacts.

...to make innumerable tortured lives worse.


At every moment since joining SS two months ago, I have held thousands of hearts - those of members and guests alike - at the mercy of my fingertips.

My fingertips do many things on this forum. They're very busy. They soothe, comfort, support, suggest, suspect, protect, defend, debate, philosophize, speak my mind, speak my heart, forgive, and sometimes fight. They are the most sincere and honest fingertips I have ever met, they are imperfect, and I am proud they are mine.

It would not at all be easy for me to do the things I listed.

But it is for some.

There is no remotely sufficient react for that.

If I wanted to secretly manipulate people into doing what I wanted for my own personal gratification, then I'd behave in exactly the same way I behave now.
I don't know if that's sad, ironic, tragic or terrifying. Actually, it's not true, there are things I'd do that are even more cunning, if I sit and think about it. And no-one would ever know. That's not what I'm doing, but how would anyone ever be able to tell?
I believe that no matter the level of cunning and intelligence, certain behavioural traits of those seeking to take advantage will always win out, resulting in exposure. The psychopath always makes a mistake sooner or later, and due to their nature, they'll never even realise what that mistake was.

 

[Inferdan]

...to say I found a Mexican vet pharmacy source for N, watch the PM notifications tick up by the second, dangle some carrots, send people on expensive wild goose chases, and maybe even scam a little cash.

...to say I'm seeking a ctb partner, and simultaneously catfish multiple desperate and lonely members of every gender.

...to send PMs to catfish friendships and utterly fuck with others' psyches.

...to say something horrible happened to me today and up my hug and aw reacts.

...to say I'm going to ctb right now/in an hour/in the morning/in a week and watch people beg me to reconsider, resignedly wish me well, envy me my courage and impending death, and up my hug, heart, and aw reacts.

...to say I just attempted to ctb and backed out/was interrupted/failed and am in dire straights, and slowly reveal the story question by question, answer by answer, and up my hug, heart, aw, and wow reacts.

...to make innumerable tortured lives worse.


At every moment since joining SS two months ago, I have held thousands of hearts - those of members and guests alike - at the mercy of my fingertips.

My fingertips do many things on this forum. They're very busy. They soothe, comfort, support, suggest, suspect, protect, defend, debate, philosophize, speak my mind, speak my heart, forgive, and sometimes fight. They are the most sincere and honest fingertips I have ever met, they are imperfect, and I am proud they are mine.

It would not at all be easy for me to do the things I listed.

But it is for some.

There is no remotely sufficient react for that.

I have not been on SS for very long, so I haven't exactly been paying attention for these kind of people, but sometimes I wonder how people can find satisfaction in ruining lives. Why is causing pain fun for them? Because they're in a bad place like us, but they find it better to give pain than peace, or are they simply cruel? No matter the motive or reason, there is no excuse to bring people lower than they are already.
And copycatting for reacts...I see the appeal to it, but it's wrong. Why? Because it isn't real. It isn't you. Here, you open up for help, but copying others just makes you a fake. A fraud dangling a bell over those who don't know the truth. And in time, the truth gets out. And the consequences will catch up and make you pay.

 

[Yomyom]

...to say I found a Mexican vet pharmacy source for N, watch the PM notifications tick up by the second, dangle some carrots, send people on expensive wild goose chases, and maybe even scam a little cash.

Sorry for moving the discussion from the original post, but the peaceful pill handbook don't have a list of vet pharmacy in Mexico?
This kind of scam really happened here?
That's very Cruel to send people to Mexico for nothing

 

[k75]

I've never understood what that type of person gets out of the behavior described. How is it fun to hurt other people? Sympathy and attention generated by lies can't possibly be that rewarding, because you know it's not deserved. My sister is a manipulator, a pathological liar, always has to play the victim and have the most attention. She's been this way her entire life. Luckily, my whole family now realizes this and refuses to play along anymore.

I'm always thinking about how my words and actions affect other people. A lot of the time I imagine how I'd feel on the receiving end. I'm pretty much the same online and in person. The worst thing I do is I often hide how bad I'm actually feeling. Downplay the dysfunction. I guess it's deceitful, but the only person it really hurts is me. I don't want a lot of attention, but when I bother to talk, I like to be heard.

Sorry for moving the discussion from the original post, but the peaceful pill handbook don't have a list of vet pharmacy in Mexico?
This kind of scam really happened here?
That's very Cruel to send people to Mexico for nothing

There have been people who followed the list from the book and came back with nothing to show for it. And scams, or attempted scams, by users in the past.

 

[epic]

...to say I found a Mexican vet pharmacy source for N, watch the PM notifications tick up by the second, dangle some carrots, send people on expensive wild goose chases, and maybe even scam a little cash.

...to say I'm seeking a ctb partner, and simultaneously catfish multiple desperate and lonely members of every gender.

...to send PMs to catfish friendships and utterly fuck with others' psyches.

...to say something horrible happened to me today and up my hug and aw reacts.

...to say I'm going to ctb right now/in an hour/in the morning/in a week and watch people beg me to reconsider, resignedly wish me well, envy me my courage and impending death, and up my hug, heart, and aw reacts.

...to say I just attempted to ctb and backed out/was interrupted/failed and am in dire straights, and slowly reveal the story question by question, answer by answer, and up my hug, heart, aw, and wow reacts.

...to make innumerable tortured lives worse.


At every moment since joining SS two months ago, I have held thousands of hearts - those of members and guests alike - at the mercy of my fingertips.

My fingertips do many things on this forum. They're very busy. They soothe, comfort, support, suggest, suspect, protect, defend, debate, philosophize, speak my mind, speak my heart, forgive, and sometimes fight. They are the most sincere and honest fingertips I have ever met, they are imperfect, and I am proud they are mine.

It would not at all be easy for me to do the things I listed.

But it is for some.

There is no remotely sufficient react for that.

A lot of people here have never been loved or cared. If somebody empathizes or shows care for them they will take it, even if it means lying or exaggerating for receiving sympathy .I really don't blame them given the hell they have been put through. The only thing to do is check if the OP is lying about something dangerous or foolish , otherwise I just give a hug or like even if the story seems fabricated/exaggerated.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Sorry for moving the discussion from the original post, but the peaceful pill handbook don't have a list of vet pharmacy in Mexico?
This kind of scam really happened here?
That's very Cruel to send people to Mexico for nothing

That came from my imagination, however, there was N scammer on here in 2018 who hinted about a vet pharmacy in Mexico. From what I can tell, the pharmacies in the PPH are no longer selling, yet the PPH doesn't update the info. It would indeed be cruel to send people to Mexico, and it's scary how easily I could do it. I actually posted advice for how to go looking for N if one started by flying into the capital, based on my extensive experience traveling in Mexico and my one-time failed experience trying to buy N a couple months ago.

My sister likes to make things up and manipulate people, she says everyone does it ‍

I think many people like that believe it's true as a way to justify the behavior, and at the same time, to a less dramatic degree than they claim, it is true. People have always lied and manipulated to get their needs and wants met. But I didn't grow up with the internet, and it seems many, many people really do function that way. Just watch the shows Catfished and To Find a Predator to see the underbelly of the digital age. Watch reality TV to see manipulation glorified. People will do exceedingly awful things from behind the cover of the screen and keyboard just to get their jollies.

A lot of people here have never been loved or cared. If somebody empathizes or shows care for them they will take it, even if it means lying or exaggerating for receiving sympathy .I really don't blame them given the hell they have been put through. The only thing to do is check if the OP is lying about something dangerous or foolish , otherwise I just give a hug or like even if the story seems fabricated/exaggerated.

I respect your right to interpret and respond to such behavior however you choose.

I personally prefer and choose to not to give anything to someone when they are using deception to take from others' hearts and wallets.

True story:

I lived in a small but touristy Central American town with an incredible amount of poverty. Scams and manipulation abounded. One scam was an older blind man who walked around on the arm of his daughter, carrying a bowl for alms.

One day he came into the bar I was at with friends. Many of us dropped money in the bowl. I gave him the equivalent of 70 cents US. A fellow ex-pat said after, "You know he's lying, right?" I said it did me no harm to drop that little bit of money into his bowl and I felt good, I did not feel harmed. I was skeptical and also amused.

Months later, I saw the man and his daughter eating lunch by the side of the road. He made eye contact with me, and quickly glanced away.

I found it hilarious. I shared the story on social media because I write and I love a good story, and included it with other scams I experienced there, such as the shoe shine boys who pull sad faces to beg once you say you don't want your flip-flops shined.

I never again gave the man money. I would ask the shoe shine boys, "Aw, are you going to cry?" and they'd bust out laughing. I had compassion for those kids, and the truth is that they are trafficked, but it was far more rewarding to share a laugh with them than my money and feelings of guilt.

Pity primes a target. Ask any street beggar, hustler, predator, or narc. It was serial killer Ted Bundy's primary MO.

There is a variety of ways to respond to the pulling of heart strings with pity plays. Sometimes the reasons for the plays are ostensibly excusable, and it doesn't take from one to respond with compassion; one might even feel better about themselves for having done so. Sometimes the play is one step in a con, which leads to giving more. The more folks give, the more likely others are to follow. Remember the old telethons with the ringing telephone banks?

It is so very easy to manipulate others, and so very easy to be conned out of far, far more than you were ever willing to give, especially when pity and bandwagons are employed. Wherever there is want, need, and compassion, there is a target for manipulation, the internet is a dark alley, and SS is a target-rich environment for a huge variety of scams. Folks are already primed to give compassion and excuse away bad behavior.

SS should be a comfortable place for us to talk about what is bothering us. We don't need people trying to ruin that comfort.

Not everyone is out to lie but don't tread blindly!

"Should" and "is" are often incompatible. A good manipulator plays on the "should" and the need.

I agree with your warning.

 

[Iloveyouall]

The only hard thing to do when you're a scammer or worse is to handle the scruples at first. I'm scared to be too naive as there are probably a lot of them that don't even have any in the first place.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

If I wanted to secretly manipulate people into doing what I wanted for my own personal gratification, then I'd behave in exactly the same way I behave now.
I don't know if that's sad, ironic, tragic or terrifying.

That's along the lines of what I was thinking when I wrote the post. It is so terrifyingly easy.

I recognized the power I hold with every post, and how easily I could use that power for personal gratification, if I found such behavior gratifying or just, you know, wanted to test it out.

And as you pointed out and I hadn't even considered, I wouldn't have to act at all differently to pull it off.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

sometimes I wonder how people can find satisfaction in ruining lives. Why is causing pain fun for them? Because they're in a bad place like us, but they find it better to give pain than peace, or are they simply cruel? No matter the motive or reason, there is no excuse to bring people lower than they are already.

In his book, In Sheep's Clothing, psychologist George Simon lays out manipulation tactics, as well as highlights common traits that make people susceptible to manipulation. Your post inadvertently reminded me of one of them:


OVER-INTELLECTUALIZATION. You may be one of those persons who tries too hard to understand. If you're also one who assumes that people only do hurtful things when there's some legitimate, understandable reason, you might delude yourself into believing that uncovering and understanding all the reasons for your manipulator's behavior will be sufficient to make things different. Sometimes, by being overly focused on the possible reasons for a behavior, you may inadvertently excuse it. Other times, you might get so wrapped-up in trying to understand what's going on that you forget that someone is merely fighting to gain advantage over you and that you should be devoting your time and energy to taking necessary steps to protect and empower yourself. If you over-intellectualize, you'll likely have trouble accepting the simple philosophy that there are people in this world who fight too much, fight underhandedly, and for no other purpose than to get what they want.*


I see this type of response so often on SS. I don't say that judgmentally, I fucking lived it for decades. That underlined part at the end is what hurts so much, and I felt it as I wrote the OP.


*For the rest of the common traits that lead to manipulative victimization (post 5 in spoiler link), as well as a whole thread on manipulation tactics, persuasion techniques, and how emotions function to motivate us (and even cause us to manipulate ourselves), see this resource thread:

Spoiler: Manipulation Tactics

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/manipulation-tactics.31123/

_________________________

And in time, the truth gets out. And the consequences will catch up and make you pay.

I say with affection and respect: That, my friend, is quite a seductive and deceptively comforting belief.

I anticipate I will be adored by no one for pointing this out:

Imhave observed the sad reality that people get away with things all the time. If the truth gets out, they do not always pay. They may manipulate their way through, bide their time until the furor dies down and attention is eventually drawn elsewhere, and continue on as before, emboldened, unchastened, and even craftier.

The majority of humans, it seems to me, want to believe that the kingdom of heaven goes to the meek, that karma exists and eventually pays, and that the bad guys will always somehow reveal themselves and get their just rewards.

But the world is not just, and the ones who know this best are the ones who take full advantage of it, with no regret for the expense caused to others, nor for the destruction and havoc wrought.

Another group knows best that the world is not just, and is represented by several factions, including: nihilists, dystopians, misanthropes, those with existential depression, and those who catch the damn bus.

I'm genuinely sorry if I pissed in your cornflakes. I wasn't aiming for them, but they may have taken a hit. I claim the defense of being a woman: I am anatomically incapable of aiming piss well.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I'm genuinely sorry if I pissed in your cornflakes. I wasn't aiming for them, but they may have taken a hit. I claim the defense of being a woman: I am anatomically incapable of aiming piss well.

The universe has already pissed in my cornflakes. And told me to like it.

 

[Deleted member 14386]

It might be out of place for me to say this, but wouldn't contacting these people via PM be a better option?
Like I honestly don't know if this is aimed at me or not, I am certainly guilty of some lots of the things you mentioned. If I have done this please call me out on it, I need that. Otherwise I get all manic and think I'm the save-all of the world lol

 

[Deleted member 1465]

It might be out of place for me to say this, but wouldn't contacting these people via PM be a better option?
Like I honestly don't know if this is aimed at me or not, I am certainly guilty of some lots of the things you mentioned. If I have done this please call me out on it, I need that. Otherwise I get all manic and think I'm the save-all of the world lol

I suspect the fact that you come out and say this may reveal something of your integrity
We can all be guilty of subconscious manipulation, it's how any society or even conversation works to a certain extent. It's when it crosses the line into something more malignant that the real issues arise.

 

[Deleted member 14386]

I suspect the fact that you come out and say this may reveal something of your integrity
We can all be guilty of subconscious manipulation, it's how any society or even conversation works to a certain extent. It's when it crosses the line into something more malignant that the real issues arise.

Ah okay I think I understand it more now, I just need to check myself often otherwise I get on a high horse and start lecturing people

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Ah okay I think I understand it more now, I just need to check myself often otherwise I get on a high horse and start lecturing people haha

I can be guilty of that high horse thing and I have to reign myself in sometimes.

 

[Deleted member 14386]

I can be guilty of that high horse thing and I have to reign myself in sometimes.

I see what you did there

 

[terry_a_davis]

And in time, the truth gets out. And the consequences will catch up and make you pay.

I say with affection and respect: That, my friend, is quite a seductive and deceptively comforting belief.

I anticipate I will be adored by no one for pointing this out:

Imhave observed the sad reality that people get away with things all the time. If the truth gets out, they do not always pay. They may manipulate their way through, bide their time until the furor dies down and attention is eventually drawn elsewhere, and continue on as before, emboldened, unchastened, and even craftier.

The majority of humans, it seems to me, want to believe that the kingdom of heaven goes to the meek, that karma exists and eventually pays, and that the bad guys will always somehow reveal themselves and get their just rewards.

But the world is not just, and the ones who know this best are the ones who take full advantage of it, with no regret for the expense caused to others, nor for the destruction and havoc wrought.

Another group knows best that the world is not just, and is represented by several factions, including: nihilists, dystopians, misanthropes, those with existential depression, and those who catch the damn bus.

I'm genuinely sorry if I pissed in your cornflakes. I wasn't aiming for them, but they may have taken a hit. I claim the defense of being a woman: I am anatomically incapable of aiming piss well.

Hmm i'm have to disagree with that @GoodPersonEffed . I don't believe in magical/mystical stuff like karma. But I believe that generally, if you do bad things and make bad choices, your life will reflect this.

I believe this through observing people irl (i know people who have acted badly and seem to pay for it sooner or later) and my own life going wrong through my own mistakes. I know people irl who have done the right thing and made the right decisions and live apparently happy lives. And i witness it in the media, Weinstein getting 23 years for example.

Yes some poor souls have horrible existences through no fault of their own, and some people seem to get away with everything. But if you do bad things then you increase the chances of this effecting you at some point. It's not rocket science. To suggest your actions have no relevance to your existence isn't helpful or correct (imo).

 

[epic]

The universe has already pissed in my cornflakes. And told me to like it.

LMAO

 

[enjolras]

I've never understood what that type of person gets out of the behavior described. How is it fun to hurt other people? Sympathy and attention generated by lies can't possibly be that rewarding, because you know it's not deserved. My sister is a manipulator, a pathological liar, always has to play the victim and have the most attention. She's been this way her entire life. Luckily, my whole family now realizes this and refuses to play along anymore.

I believe there is a lot about filling the void of existence. These persons hide it well but they often lack a lot of personality, maybe from a deceiving childhood or an imbalance to boot. They may appear full but at the same time unable to cast true inspiration, neither also capture it.

Being manipulative, I also believe there is a lot of pleasure to derive from and that it surely leads to addiction. It's a way to seek infinite empowerement, even if of poor quality, where desilusions have to suffice, then quantity matters to compensate. At worse, it will be a form of entertainement, sometimes dangerous with adrenaline, at best, they will get results or gratification by mistake. It's their well-being against yours. They will apply attack or protective defence to pass first

By now, you'll know that I faced such a group the past years. I tried to oppose and lost (I was denouncing mal practices in an industry ripping of an audience). It really hurt and I still get nightmares from this episode.

I'll talk about the main protagonist only for hindsight. I remember that once he tried to give me advice on how to "feel better" in general and for that purpose he claimed that it was vital to "play by the rules", that is, understand how (a dominant part of, really) the world works, and go with it not against. Particularly he meant that it was fine to adopt predatory behaviors, even if it implies forgetting about the morale. He clearly invited me towards distortion and detachment
Another time, I caught him explaining how/when his personality shift happened. Younger, he saw a movie in which the hero was inventing stories to acquire means. He tried it in real life, acknowledged it worked, and it started like that, as a route to success. Then the trap closes itself.
To me, these persons suffer (may even half admit it or display external physical signs), they envy with sickness the light of the persons or just the aura of the possibilites around them. I feel like they're evolving in a permanent dress rehearsal room, trying new outfits always, just not being able to resist the temptation. Then build confidence from the enveloppe.
I also feel that there's a lot about stimulating their own intelligence and that it becomes a game with repetition. They are not intimately convinced by the reality of any kind of truth, therefore it's just a matter of pulling strings and pushing all the boundaries they have access to. If there's a breach, try it and adjust. Soon enough, it will become second nature and require less efforts / energy

Definitely harmful!

(anyway, that's my view on it)

 

[gnomeboy17]

A lot of people here have never been loved or cared. If somebody empathizes or shows care for them they will take it, even if it means lying or exaggerating for receiving sympathy .I really don't blame them given the hell they have been put through. The only thing to do is check if the OP is lying about something dangerous or foolish , otherwise I just give a hug or like even if the story seems fabricated/exaggerated.

Yeah I agree. No one is here because their life is perfect. A hug emoji could make a difference in how they feel, so even if they're completely lying, why not just be nice?

 

[charlottewilts]

The only thing to do is check if the OP is lying about something dangerous or foolish

this is really the only thing that matters here. if someone wants to post fake sob stories, who cares! if - regardless of the superficiality - that's enough to make them satisfied, good for them. if someone purposefully spreads misinformation about popular methods or advises methods that are likely to fail and cause lasting damage, then it becomes a ban-worthy problem. for the former, there's always the ignore button. as for the PMs and the partner thread, catfishes are honestly the least of your concern. they make themselves extremely easy to discern.

 

[enjolras]

I anticipate I will be adored by no one for pointing this out:

Imhave observed the sad reality that people get away with things all the time. If the truth gets out, they do not always pay. They may manipulate their way through, bide their time until the furor dies down and attention is eventually drawn elsewhere, and continue on as before, emboldened, unchastened, and even craftier.

The majority of humans, it seems to me, want to believe that the kingdom of heaven goes to the meek, that karma exists and eventually pays, and that the bad guys will always somehow reveal themselves and get their just rewards.

But the world is not just, and the ones who know this best are the ones who take full advantage of it, with no regret for the expense caused to others, nor for the destruction and havoc wrought.

Another group knows best that the world is not just, and is represented by several factions, including: nihilists, dystopians, misanthropes, those with existential depression, and those who catch the damn bus.

I'm so sorry for adoring you. You ruined my cornflakes.

It took me time to admit it. I'm convinced this stance exists in the big wild world. When you're idealistic, you wash out the thought to chase the meaninglessness part of the existence, to be left with mystery.
It's more or less what I tried to describe earlier. Some get along really well with this attitude and are not ready to give up. They work out tirelessly to get rid of judgement. They learn that the situational risk/reward ratio usually plays in their favour and embrace the ins and outs accordingly.
I'm sad to report that they probably show a more pragmatic way of being than "humane", commonly found in nature. They occupy space where room is made, accepting roles that are opened to take. They are certainly not wrong from their point of view. It's a path of development they step into

That's along the lines of what I was thinking when I wrote the post. It is so terrifyingly easy.

I recognized the power I hold with every post, and how easily I could use that power for personal gratification, if I found such behavior gratifying or just, you know, wanted to test it out.

And as you pointed out and I hadn't even considered, I wouldn't have to act at all differently to pull it off.

It cracks a smile in me, because each time you expand your thinking, I personally get you're sending clues of your integrity and full honesty. Obviously, you could cheat anyone on here, that would only take to find a partner in crime.

It seems like you apply power on yourself first, before onto others, as a consciously digested choice. Here comes awareness
Restraint is a form of power, like giving direction

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

It might be out of place for me to say this, but wouldn't contacting these people via PM be a better option?
Like I honestly don't know if this is aimed at me or not, I am certainly guilty of some lots of the things you mentioned. If I have done this please call me out on it, I need that. Otherwise I get all manic and think I'm the save-all of the world lol

It's not out of place, and I'm willing to address the question.

It wasn't about options with regard to the kinds of intentional manipulations listed. I already call out plenty, I'm quite direct. And it wasn't a passive play to attempt to shame or change anyone.

This was a revelation. Two revelations, actually. One is that such things happen. I appreciate when others recognize such thing and point them out, they make me safer. When the Greeks delivered the Trojan horse, I think there would have been two factions among the Trojan populace: the "I smell horseshit group," and the "Shut up it's such a pretty horse!" group. The horseshit detector group is not the fun group, they're often viewed as spoiling everybody's fun, paranoid, rude, etc. I'm sure it's no surprise I'm a card-carrying horseshit detector. But I spend decades of my life oohing over pretty horses while oftentimes someone was sneaking around behind my back to let in a Greek army.

The other revelation is what sparked the motivation to write. It was a mix of awe and pain. I affect many when I post, many times more than I am aware of. I have power to harm. Some people actually, intentionally use the power to harm. And it blows my mind how easy it is. So this revelation leads and relates to the first revelation, in case someone here isn't sure about pretty horses. It is protective. Some people are uncomfortable with protective acts, not always because they are the aggressor. But that's a topic for a different thread or a PM I would respond to if someone sent me one like that. (Spoiler: they usually don't.)

The OP was my heart, and it was raw honesty. It is how I write. I am a writer. Revealing my heart in this way has always garnered some reactions of discomfort, including from my parents whose abuse I called out, to writing workshop classmates, to, in this instance, you.

I am aware of you here on SS. I have enjoyed your perspective many times. This post was not directed at you. But you said you do some of these things. I didn't call them pretty horses. You invited me to confront you directly in private rather than passively in public. I have done that when a situation merits it, I promise. Not every time, but when I felt compelled to. More often I say it publicly, and have a dialogue about it.

These things I pointed out are invitations to us all, lots of pretty horses from a variety of people, some of whom want just a little, some of whom want a lot, some of whom want to sneak in a person's personal gates and destroy them. I exercised my voice as part of the group in identifying the how the horses are built and some of what's inside them, and I identified the sacred trust placed in our hands every time we post. I am awed by that, as well as how easy it would be to abuse that trust, because it is not in my nature to do so. It was a revelation.

 

[Epsilon0]

A hug emoji could make a difference in how they feel, so even if they're completely lying, why not just be nice?

There is something fundamentally wrong with this statement.
If you can't see it, there's no point in having someone explain it to you.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Yes some poor souls have horrible existences through no fault of their own, and some people seem to get away with everything. But if you do bad things then you increase the chances of this effecting you at some point. It's not rocket science. To suggest your actions have no relevance to your existence isn't helpful or correct (imo).

Respectfully, I didn't make that suggestion.

Please note I'm not speaking with emotion here. No offense intended, and none taken. I'm speaking from a very dry and impersonal standpoint of addressing fallacies of logic.

What you did in your post was create a strawman argument and knock it down. I never said one's actions have no relevance to existence, and while you may have proved that claim wrong, you didn't prove me wrong, because I didn't say it.

@Inferdan made a definitive statement: "And in time, the truth gets out. And the consequences will catch up and make you pay."

I pointed out that is not a universal. There are often people who get away with things and never have to pay consequences.

You said something similar to this, in the part of your response that I quoted, which reinforces my stance: that some people have bad circumstances through no fault of their own, while others get away with bad things. Therefore, in staying on topic and addressing inferdan's fallacy of logic, one cannot say consequences will catch up and make one pay if it is proven that they do not always do so.

I went on to bring up how such a fallacy originates and takes hold, such as in belief systems, and the desire for it to be true. Like wanting every Weinstein to get theirs - not all of them do.

________________

Yeah I agree. No one is here because their life is perfect. A hug emoji could make a difference in how they feel, so even if they're completely lying, why not just be nice?

Please note that if I sound defensive here, it is not directed at you, but at who and what you are pleading a case for.

In answer to your question: Why not? Because I don't own how they feel in the first place, let alone the responsibility for improving how they feel.

Part of pro-choice is self-determination. I'm not making an informed decision about what I choose to give to others if they're lying to get it. That's lying with intent to steal. It's a low-level Nigerian scam on the currency of emotion.

If someone doesn't know how to get their needs met by taking the chance to ask directly and risk getting rejected, I don't own that either. I don't run the First Bank of Pity, I have a limited amount of emotional resources which I will hand out at my discretion and mine alone. I do not give permission for them to be drained. I share these resources on the SS Cooperative Bank of Compassion. I don't like emotional bank robbers, so I'm not going to encourage them to keep returning to the back door. I'm going to guard it. If they want to make a withdrawal there is already an open front door with a straightforward application process.

 

[terry_a_davis]

Respectfully, I didn't make that suggestion.

Please note I'm not speaking with emotion here. No offense intended, and none taken. I'm speaking from a very dry and impersonal standpoint of addressing fallacies of logic.

What you did in your post was create a strawman argument and knock it down. I never said one's actions have no relevance to existence, and while you may have proved that claim wrong, you didn't prove me wrong, because I didn't say it.

@Inferdan made a definitive statement: "And in time, the truth gets out. And the consequences will catch up and make you pay."

I pointed out that is not a universal. There are often people who get away with things and never have to pay consequences.

You said something similar to this, in the part of your response that I quoted, which reinforces my stance: that some people have bad circumstances through no fault of their own, while others get away with bad things. Therefore, in staying on topic and addressing inferdan's fallacy of logic, one cannot say consequences will catch up and make one pay if it is proven that they do not always do so.

I went on to bring up how such a fallacy originates and takes hold, such as in belief systems, and the desire for it to be true. Like wanting every Weinstein to get theirs - not all of them do.

I thought the tone and overall message of your post was basically saying people do good and/or bad, and most of the time this had no consequence.
If I was mistaken then I apologise

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I thought the tone and overall message of your post was basically saying people do good and/or bad, and most of the time this had no consequence.
If I was mistaken then I apologise

No apology necessary. I hope my response clarified your misunderstanding. Based on your reply here, it doesn't seem that it did, but I'm not worried about it. :)

 

[gnomeboy17]

There is something fundamentally wrong with this statement.
If you can't see it, there's no point in having someone explain it to you.

No I can't see it. Please explain