It would be so much easier if no one cared

[druggedonsurvival]

Someone recently found out that I'm suicidal and forced me to have a very long "discussion." That was the worst fucking thing I've had to endure all week. They assured me that there are people who care about me. Yeah, I know that, and it's tormenting me to no end. They gave out all the usual "you're not alone's" and options for treatment that I already know about.

I care about this person too, and I cared too much to say that if I really wanted help (or believed I could be helped) I would try to seek it. I know they want me to feel better, but being told they care actually just makes me feel way fucking worse. I know how privileged I am, I know how lucky I am to have people who care about me... that's what makes me feel so horrible for being suicidally depressed. I was actually having an okay day today but now I just feel like shit for being stupid enough to be found out.

 

[Malaria]

I relate. Sometimes I wish no one cared about me so that I could just leave this world without feeling any guilt.

 

[DreamEnd]

Someone recently found out that I'm suicidal and forced me to have a very long "discussion." That was the worst fucking thing I've had to endure all week. They assured me that there are people who care about me. Yeah, I know that, and it's tormenting me to no end. They gave out all the usual "you're not alone's" and options for treatment that I already know about.

I care about this person too, and I cared too much to say that if I really wanted help (or believed I could be helped) I would try to seek it. I know they want me to feel better, but being told they care actually just makes me feel way fucking worse. I know how privileged I am, I know how lucky I am to have people who care about me... that's what makes me feel so horrible for being suicidally depressed. I was actually having an okay day today but now I just feel like shit for being stupid enough to be found out.

"You are not alone"

I hate this sentence so much. Why won't those idiots actually help instead of spreading mindless platitudes about how they they're there to help. If they could actually help perhaps we wouldn't be suicidal in the first place

 

[recat]

The thing i hate the most in this situation is when people guilt trip you into forcing you to live.

But what about your mother? What about your sister? Think about them.

Of course I fucking think about them, they've already been through the death of my father and they turned out just fine. Besides, my sister doesn't truly give a shit about me. I used to have this guilt myself but over the decades I have realized people care much less about me than I thought, nobody, even the person i trusted most in my life, could really be trusted. All the guilt that stopped me for decades, I realized, was BULLSHIT evolutionary instincts that just irrationally make people want to prevent death of any kind at all costs.

 

[druggedonsurvival]

"You are not alone"

I hate this sentence so much. Why won't those idiots actually help instead of spreading mindless platitudes about how they they're there to help. If they could actually help perhaps we wouldn't be suicidal in the first place

Exactly. I know they want to help and I really wish they could, but I know they can't and that's why it's so painful.

 

[LifeIsCrazyNemb]

Someone recently found out that I'm suicidal and forced me to have a very long "discussion." That was the worst fucking thing I've had to endure all week. They assured me that there are people who care about me. Yeah, I know that, and it's tormenting me to no end. They gave out all the usual "you're not alone's" and options for treatment that I already know about.

I care about this person too, and I cared too much to say that if I really wanted help (or believed I could be helped) I would try to seek it. I know they want me to feel better, but being told they care actually just makes me feel way fucking worse. I know how privileged I am, I know how lucky I am to have people who care about me... that's what makes me feel so horrible for being suicidally depressed. I was actually having an okay day today but now I just feel like shit for being stupid enough to be found out.

I relate. Its a horrible situation, feel sorry for you. i know how you feel. This feeling just stimulate even more the willing to CTB.

Thats why if one is 100% decided to CTB he should commit and execute the plan as soon as possible... postponing the plan just make everyone suffer even more (and thats the reason i'll CTB soon and avoid further delays in my plan).

Hope you find peace soon.

 

[DreamEnd]

Exactly. I know they want to help and I really wish they could, but I know they can't and that's why it's so painful.

It actually makes it worse. Because you then know that someone is trying to help you but their efforts are fruitless.

 

[huxIey]

Someone recently found out that I'm suicidal and forced me to have a very long "discussion." That was the worst fucking thing I've had to endure all week. They assured me that there are people who care about me. Yeah, I know that, and it's tormenting me to no end. They gave out all the usual "you're not alone's" and options for treatment that I already know about.

I care about this person too, and I cared too much to say that if I really wanted help (or believed I could be helped) I would try to seek it. I know they want me to feel better, but being told they care actually just makes me feel way fucking worse. I know how privileged I am, I know how lucky I am to have people who care about me... that's what makes me feel so horrible for being suicidally depressed. I was actually having an okay day today but now I just feel like shit for being stupid enough to be found out.

And then people say you're being selfish for being suicidal as if you didn't feel selfish by having to live.

 

[used_and_abused]

that's where am at, nobody gives a shit. Just need to pull the trigger

 

[jenson]

Yea, I've had to push my plans back further and further. A girl rejected me recently so I dont want people thinking I'm some pathetic guy who ctbed himself over a rejection. Then a good friend of mine recently had a friend of hers ctb so I have to push it back again because I dont want her having two friends go like that and I think shes already worried about me. Then ofc my mom calls to check in on me and my stupid ass sounds depressed over the phone rather than trying to hide it. I really shouldn't care because it wont matter after the fact but it really sucks.