Venting It sucks that I will have to leave this life behind

[PxB]

I had a comfortable life. I had caring parents. I was born at the right time were we have the technology to access unlimited entertainment, books, videos, music and art. We have cool new gadgets to pass time with. We have good food. We have the ability to travel to everywhere we want. And I am wealthy enough to afford some of it like a lot of people do, but the difference between me and them is that they can enjoy it and cherish the times we live in while I can't. I'm too mentally unwell to appreciate it. I can't even listen, watch, or read something without feeling a sinister vibe in it. My interpretation of things is fucked due to the bad experiences I had with society in the past, and using the things society has created doesn't feel right because I feel like I I'm a subhuman and I'm not supposed to use it because I'm not part of society, and it's unnatural and my subconscious mind knows it.

It sucks that I will have to ctb due to society rejecting me by giving me traumatic experiences in the past and causing me to have psychosis and PTSD, even though I had a comfortable life.

Of what good use is the wisdom I have, the knowledge I have, the money I have, the things I have, and the shelter I have if I'm too mentally crippled to make use of it? Being this autistic, psychotic and mentally slow, the things that I have right now will probably be in the hands of somebody in the future if my parents died and my condition has worsened, considering how in school I was always easily manipulated into giving people stuff.

 

[FuneralCry]

This life is so cruel and unfair and I'm sorry that you are in such a horrible situation. It sounds really awful what you have to endure. I hope that you find relief from your suffering.

 

[DerTod]

You are not subhuman! You are and should be your best friend. I believe a lot of us on this forum feel we don't belong here and can't relate to others or what society defines as being a successful individual. Please don't give up on yourself! Have you ever considered the possibility that it's not you the one that is inferior but the society and those who rejected you? When and if i decide to CTB i won't say to myself :" i'm a failure because i couldn't fit in here". I would go in peace saying:" I can't fit here and that's fine. I'm actually sorry for you people who continue to do the rat race".