Venting It just hit me that the people I’m close to don’t view me the same that I do them.

[ShotgunShell]

I pretty much only have two friends. They mean the world to me, they're the only people that actually want to talk with me and I love them more than anything.

But one of them said something tonight that made me realize that they probably don't view me the same.

We were in call and gaming like we do on the occasion, and one of them started to talk about how they appreciate their time away from me and that they only really want to hang out when they're "familiar" with me. Such as they only have the desire to hang out if we've talked/hung out as of recent, and if we go long periods of time without talking, they somewhat lose interest in me.

I know they most likely didn't mean it in a hurtful way- time away from people is a good thing, but them saying that made me realize that I am only just that- a normal friend to them. They have lots of other friends, they're actually great at socializing and kind of "rotate" around friend groups and people. While these two mean the world to me and they're on my mind 24/7, I am nothing more than just another person. Another person to hang out with, just another guy they talk to.

I will never mean more to that than people. I am unworthy of love in so many ways, and this kind of confirmed it for me. I know I'm most likely being dramatic again, but hearing that on a day where I'm particularly down stung a little more.

I just want somebody who feels the same way around me. Who wants to actually be around/talk with me constantly, and feels excited to be around me. That I'm just somebody's favorite person. I just want to be loved the way I feel like I can love someone.

Sorry for another vent. I'm gonna go drink now.

 

[Unending]

I've definitely been in similar situations numerous times in the past. I'm not sure if it's exactly the same thing but when I could still work I would get way to attached to coworkers as friends and get my feelings hurt when I realized these people just had super chipper attitudes and were a bit fake with the "Yeah let's hang out!" and then ditch me several times in a row.

Not exactly the same but I think stuff like this sucks in general.

 

[nureinFuchs]

I long time ago I learned that people come and go in your life, doesn't matter how much you want them to stay.
And no you're not being dramatic
you're just asking for a good friend that actually care about you...
I would join you for a drink if I could.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Telling your friend that you appreciate bring away from them sounds odd to me.

How are social opportunities initiated when he and you haven't spent time together in a while?

I know it really sucks to not have your caring reciprocated by another person. I guess this is a problem when you have such a small circle that you're getting all your social needs met, especially when they have a wide range of friends. But you said this guy tends to alternate who he focuses his time on so it sounds like you're not the only one he "appreciates" time away from and that he isn't too consistent in general.

In any case, I don't think this supports the conclusion that you are unworthy of love, not at all.

 

[ASAPLeaving]

Unfortunately, that is the nature of friendships. You are their "shiny new toy" and eventually you are old news when they move onto someone new. You are still "friends", but you're like that old video game that someone replays for something to pass the time.

Here are some examples:
Online friend whom I rescued from an abusive relationship and encouraged them to leave. We were very close, but drifted apart. Sure, I am still in their life, but I am no longer a priority.

Friends that I knew from a card game hobby. Since I took a break, no one has really bothered with me.

I think out of all of the friends I've been with in the last few years, only one still contacts me on their own, but he is moving back to the Philippines soon to be with his wife, so he is bound to be too busy eventually.

Friends don't last forever in practice. You either drift apart when one of you gets a new circle of friends or a significant other to prioritize, or you drift apart because of lack of common interests. Friends are usually just in name only after a while.

 

[FuneralCry]

Unfortunately you just cannot trust and rely on people in this cruel world, the reality is that we are all alone. Many people are only around when it benefits them, they don't care about the feelings of others. It's true that humans very often just create more problems and can be very disappointing but it's just the way that they are.