Venting It is sad that trying not to get into relationships due to bad mental health can be demonized.

[zekeyaeger]

I have been suicidal since I was 15, and for the past 12 years it has only got worse for me. I do not wish to have my partner deal with my painful mental health, which is why pursuing relationships has not been on my mind. Hard to have that on mind when one's daily existence is hell. Thing is, in a lot of online spaces it is bundled with incels. Having sexual relations with someone you are in a loving relationship is what one seeks, but in some cases it is not ideal to be in a relationship. There is a friend of mine who was homeschooled and struggles to have friends, and therefore hasn't been in a relationship and she is 27. She feels bad for being a "femcel", when she shouldn't have to deal with such demonization.

 

[pilotviolin]

its hard navigating the topic, people will find any way to put down others who dont match their narrow vision. its also painful knowing you cant acchieve or cope with a relationship/community but still need some sort of connection, im sorry you and your friends and really anyone dealing with immense lonliness deal with extra barriers or judgement. as long as everyone communicates and is safe and such without gret conflict i think people should be allowed to have flexible kinds of relationships.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

The fact that you're worried about the impact of your struggles on a future partner shows that you're the type of person who has the maturity and self-reflection to navigate relationships, which a lot of people don't, in my experience. relationships are a give and take in general, require a lot of time and energy, and difficult to maintain, so i think it's a wise decision personally not to want to pursue anything until your health is more stable.

There's nothing shameful about not dating by X or y age, the older generations were often pressured by their parents and grandparents to get married and have kids by a certain age, and that mindset has persisted with some people. But I think more and more people are realising that they can have other goals in life besides dating, and certain milestones they want to achieve before they'd feel ready to take the plunge into seeking relationships.

There's no shame in wanting to focus on helping yourself right now and getting where you want to be.