It is constant battle

[fox_wannabe]

I feel I am in constant struggle for my mental health. Trying not get caught up in dark pit of despair, not to have all the fears catch me and drag me down. Sounds cliche, but I feel this is true for me. I am winning in terms of not getting too depressed. I win mostly because I care less and less, and try not to daydream about potential failures or bad things that can happen. I try to think positively or neutrally. It can be done but it requires an effort.

Especially when you are bombarded with negative media and when people around you complain. Also memories of bad events are one of those things that can really bring me down. I don't really wish to be here and I just slowly drift towards my death, wishing for my journey to be peaceful and happy one, or at least not not bad. I don't want much from life, I greatly lowered my expectations that I inherited from my boomer parents, who believed their child will cure cancer. Meanwhile I just want to have ok standards of living and maybe some people to talk with. This is actually a lot to ask and some people work for those things really hard.

If I could have safe future that would end with my death without wars, homelessness, bullying, fear and anxiety that would just perfect. And I do not plan to be retiree either. Just 10 years would be nice maybe less, so I don't have to die while I am so attached to family.

 

[Sherri]

Im sorry you also enduring this, my secret is take it day by day, some are okish, some I just lie in bed curled up. It's really sad to live with this battle. So many things I lost. But keep up the good fight. Don't let depression win without giving it a hell of a fight first. That's my secret to still be alive with being like this for many years now. A big hug, you are not alone.

 

[fox_wannabe]

A big hug, you are not alone.

Thank you<3
We all gonna make it brah

 

[Julgran]

Especially when you are bombarded with negative media and when people around you complain. Also memories of bad events are one of those things that can really bring me down.

Other people will always complain about things, and the media will always be full of negative news - try to block those out, because your journey through life is not theirs. Sure, you might be affected by a bad economy, generally, but that doesn't mean that you need to feel depressed about it every day - this is just an example to point out that the world, at large, doesn't know you, and it can't hurt you specifically.

If I could have safe future that would end with my death without wars, homelessness, bullying, fear and anxiety that would just perfect. And I do not plan to be retiree either. Just 10 years would be nice maybe less, so I don't have to die while I am so attached to family.

Do you feel like you have to die soon? Why is that?

 

[fox_wannabe]

Do you feel like you have to die soon? Why is that?

I don't like the world, body, having to work, i feel lonely. I don't want much from life.
I don't see myself being here for long. I have had a lot of bad experiences, I am spiritually tired and drained.

 

[Julgran]

I don't like the world, body, having to work, i feel lonely. I don't want much from life.
I don't see myself being here for long. I have had a lot of bad experiences, I am spiritually tired and drained.

I see! It's not my place to make any judgment, but it seems like you have a solid and resolute mind, and I respect any decision that you may take.

 

[Sherri]

Thank you<3
We all gonna make it brah

That's the spirit

 

[whatevs]

I don't like the world, body, having to work, i feel lonely. I don't want much from life.
I don't see myself being here for long. I have had a lot of bad experiences, I am spiritually tired and drained.

I feel similarly. There is not much to look forward to. I don't even have sexual desires anymore. Death is still undesirable but by a very small margin.

 

[fox_wannabe]

I don't even have sexual desires anymore. Death is still undesirable but by a very small margin.

I lost sexual desire thanks to misanthropy, social anxiety and intimacy issues.
Death is desirable, but the ways of dying are to costly or too tragic for others to actually do It.

But I am maybe too dramatic. It would still be fun to do some stuff before death. Like becoming ok artist. But If it does not happen than I am ok with that too.