Sad_Autistic_boy_101
When I die, you'll love me.
- Nov 19, 2019
- 453
Hey Everyone,
It's been officially a year since I last was active on here. I had hoped for things to improve but they managed to get worse. I've now completely lost my emotions. I feel nothing. I've been told is a disorder called Depersonalization and Derealization Disorder which is a dissociative disorder that can be caused by trauma and anxiety. I now spend most of my time feeling unreal, like a lost soul unable to connect to it's body. I've been like this since over a year after having a mental health crisis and ending up in the emergency room from harming myself. Of course the doctor was no use and told me that I was selfish for feeling this way and how could I do that to my family etc and said she hoped I learnt a lesson.. so basically as usual I got no help.
My dog also died which was a reason that I was staying. He died in front of me and that was really tough especially as it was so unexpected. He was only 7 years old. Then to continue with the rubbish show.. my grandma then died so I've had to help with sorting her things out etc and we're burying her in a few weeks.
I still never managed to get any support either or move into supported living that I spoke about in 2019. Social care don't actually care about people who have disabilities or mental health problems. They just seem to focus on the elderly like people who have dementia. My life never improved and it just seems to be getting worse and worse. I still have no purpose or goals in life and have lost any reason to stay. I think about how lucky all the member on here who have CTB and how hopefully they are finally at peace. They are the lucky ones.
I don't plan to CTB this month but hopefully some point this year - Once I get my Grandma sorted and any other affairs dealt with. I just needed a vent as i'm rather lonely at the moment.
Thanks for reading if anyone did.
It's been officially a year since I last was active on here. I had hoped for things to improve but they managed to get worse. I've now completely lost my emotions. I feel nothing. I've been told is a disorder called Depersonalization and Derealization Disorder which is a dissociative disorder that can be caused by trauma and anxiety. I now spend most of my time feeling unreal, like a lost soul unable to connect to it's body. I've been like this since over a year after having a mental health crisis and ending up in the emergency room from harming myself. Of course the doctor was no use and told me that I was selfish for feeling this way and how could I do that to my family etc and said she hoped I learnt a lesson.. so basically as usual I got no help.
My dog also died which was a reason that I was staying. He died in front of me and that was really tough especially as it was so unexpected. He was only 7 years old. Then to continue with the rubbish show.. my grandma then died so I've had to help with sorting her things out etc and we're burying her in a few weeks.
I still never managed to get any support either or move into supported living that I spoke about in 2019. Social care don't actually care about people who have disabilities or mental health problems. They just seem to focus on the elderly like people who have dementia. My life never improved and it just seems to be getting worse and worse. I still have no purpose or goals in life and have lost any reason to stay. I think about how lucky all the member on here who have CTB and how hopefully they are finally at peace. They are the lucky ones.
I don't plan to CTB this month but hopefully some point this year - Once I get my Grandma sorted and any other affairs dealt with. I just needed a vent as i'm rather lonely at the moment.
Thanks for reading if anyone did.
