It doesn't feel real

[BlackWednesday]

I'm planning to CTB a week from now but as the time approaches I continue to live my life as I normally do. I know that I'm going to die soon but it doesn't seem to have any impact on my mood or behaviour. I have so little time left and I'm wasting it because the reality hasn't sunk in. Even in these last days I can't live my life to the fullest.

 

[10000DaysTooMany]

Do you expect to change your mind or are you absolutely confident on that timeframe? I haven't planned the exact time so I haven't experienced what you are.

 

[BlackWednesday]

Do you expect to change your mind or are you absolutely confident on that timeframe? I haven't planned the exact time so I haven't experienced what you are.

It would take a miracle for me to change my mind

 

[10000DaysTooMany]

It would take a miracle for me to change my mind

Fair enough. I hope you have a peaceful last week then. ❤

 

[MrBrownUpsideD]

Had the same feeling when I thought my N was ready. The decision to start living life to the fullest isn't tied to thinking/knowing you're gonna die soon. You've always had that freedom. All that experience did was make me realise that, even if given all the freedom in the world, I still wouldn't be happy with life.

 

[warriorofeld]

Mine is soon as well within the year, already feeling the same way just going through the motions day to day. I hope it is smooth on your exit. ~Memento mori

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess that after all this existence is all that we know and leaving this world is something that is difficult to comprehend so I think that it's understandable feeling that way. But anyway I wish you the best with your plans.