It creeps

[Somethingswrong]

If I don't distract myself I feel the darkness creep in slowly behind me, if I just say whatever all the sudden it's there and I'm depressed. I do my house wife duties and clean, mainly dishes, but it's something. I still gotta clean my little spot when I were sick and do laundry, idk why taking a shower is still hard for me tho, I'm not as depressed but if it's a personality issue. Music really helps but my voice isn't better yet so I sound like a dying duck, still when it's all done I got videos and games but those rarely work anymore, well at least the videos. We talk a bit in the afternoons when he has break and a quick ily when he has first break. My cat fucking sleeps all day and keeps me up all night if I don't take melatonin, that's a post in of itself. My life is almost perfect and yet I still get depressed very often, it's apart of life my friends so don't get discouraged when you have everything and yet still feel the way you do, you gotta change your mindset too not just your feelings. It's hard but change is always hard, don't let anyone say any different.

 

[becfr0g]

I can understand this. My days are filled with nothing but distractions, and ive gotten so used to it that i can go days at a time focused on one particular distraction without feeling all my depressed shit.

Cleaning is a very good distraction, productive ones are great to have. I am currently redecorating a room in our house, so ive been plastering and sanding walls all day - it is very very hard to have any thoughts at all with a sanding machine going lol.

One distraction in particular that i do every single day is reading online. I dont know if itll work for others, because i know some people absolutely detest reading no matter what, but i go on ao3 and just find a random original story with a decent amount of hits and i can lose myself in it. It can be unproductive, but ive found reading big books has at least improved my vocabulary a bit.

 

[Hero Remeer]

What helps me a lot is writing down what happens to me, writing with my own hand and in a notebook. At the beginning of the year I wrote a lot, every day, and there was a moment when my mind went blank, when I went to bed I couldn't think, it was as if I had written everything down. I should also mention that many times when I wrote I came across answers for myself to questions I asked myself, in addition to many times not wanting to write something out of shame, it was and is quite interesting.
It may help you with what happens to you, many times we think a lot about things that don't even happen and we get stuck in nothing.
I don't know what's happening to you, but regardless of the issue I would like you to be able to improve and find the improvement and/or the solution
Regards, a hug, I hope you are well