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snooperdooper

snooperdooper

Student
Jan 27, 2024
142
So I have practically mute and self isolated for a few years now. Way too many I would like to put into numbers here. But, survival instinct did its thing and now I'm on the path to recovery instead of whoopdedoo death. What's gotten me really over my short recovery BESIDES THE MASSIVE AMOUNT OF REGRET is realizing I have literally no one to talk to. I want more friends, but I don't know how to make them in a way that wouldn't send my anxiety and agoraphobia through the roof. What the HELLYONTE do I DO
 
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venerated-vader

venerated-vader

Finger Guns(tm)
Mar 11, 2025
127
I have agoraphobia too. I should actually be at an event right now, but depression demanded I Not Do That... :')

What has helped me is meeting people really, REALLY slowly. Aim for making friends online. If you have a hobby you really like or any interests that you'd love to use to connect with people, find a discord group or something and chat. Join voice chat, if you can. Or, if talking is too hard, listen to them talk. I personally despise voice and video chats way more than text or in person stuff, but it's given me a little more confidence in talking to people.

And inevitably, you're going to have a moment where you feel embarrassed as hell over something you said. If you're talking with people online, its super easy to bounce from that conversation or whatever, so you can recover in private. As you practice going outside, like if you need to go to the store or something, say like 2 words to someone that you wouldn't normally need to say. Like ask someone how they are, or whatever. And if you fuck it up, or you embarrass yourself, or you say something you didn't mean to say, at least you tried.

Socializing is something all people have to practice. Humans aren't born with an innate capacity to communicate, and messing up is a part of learning new things. Some people are naturally better than others, of course, and those people can make it look effortless, but social cues take time to learn. That's why kids and teens can be so awkward! So trust me, anyone can learn it even if its incredibly nerve-wracking or we're at a disadvantage for neurodivergent reasons, or because we've been isolated for a long time, or social anxiety plays a part, etc. It takes finding the right people and the right balance between pushing against the anxiety and giving yourself a break when it gets to be too much.
 
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SadGirl

SadGirl

Arcanist
Mar 24, 2019
436
I understand, I have generalized anxiety and social phobia. I've improved a lot now, but when I was younger it overwhelmed me. But today I still can't talk to people, socialize very well, it bothers me and hinders my social life. My "girlfriend" recently broke up with me, and I was more sociable with her friends. I've never been one to have many friends or to socialize much. I know what my problem is, but I can't overcome it right now. I was hospitalized for depression a few weeks ago. So what I have to say is that I understand, I don't know how to help, because I don't even know how to help myself. I just suggest starting to enjoy your own company and trying to make more friends, getting out of your comfort zone. I know it's difficult, but it has to be done.
 

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