Isolated

[Wormfood]

I look at my phone. No new notifications. I'm not important enough to contact. I visualize walking to the bank looking at the treacherous waves and the dark water. Didn't want it to come to this but I must do this else I'll be homeless, miserable and I'd probably have a nervous breakdown to wander the streets naked, eat from trash cans and beg people. I'm already a charity case. I'm a bag of complaints. I'm always a downer. I'm a sorry excuse of a person. I must do this. Nothing is worth it. I don't want to live for another millisecond. Drowning is an awful way to go but I'm sure that it will work. It's a bonus if something bites me in the water. If I sink to the bottom I'll be fish food than wormfood. Then there would be no corpse for a funeral. I somehow feel like a funeral is disrespecting my body with people putting on a show of giving a damn. Sick of reaching out. Sick talking. When you accept that you're going to die there is a certain relief that comes. Probably want to eat my favorite food before I go an leave a well written note to whom it may concern. Why do we all get the impulse to say goodbye? Things just seem off without saying goodbye.

 

[Unending]

I'm sorry you're suffering. I know how it feels to have no one in your life and homelessness is awful. I also understand the concern about a funeral. I can't picture a single funeral scenario that wouldn't make me feel shitty if I was there while it was taking place.

 

[FuneralCry]

Ctb by drowning does sound so awful to me, but so many have succeeded with it. I mean you hear of people dying that way accidentally and while it sounds difficult to purposely die that way, I guess that it's always possible.
But it does sound so horrible what you have to endure, it really is such a cruel existence that brings people to this point and it's sad how all this endless suffering exists in this world. I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for.

 

[Himalayan]

Drowning is surprisingly easy. SI, will spike once you're in water, but at that point you're screwed already. If you want to tie some weight to you, it's more of a bonus

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I don't get any phone calls either, unless they're robocalls. not really unexpected since there is no one to call me, anyway. Not sure why I even have a phone.

I'm sorry you find yourself in such a predicament in life. Life can be so cruel and callous. I think drowning can be difficult as far as both getting past the SI and experiencing some suffering. I hope you weigh things out and can figure out what is truly best for you.

 

[theboy]

Oh I understand u