HorribleFeelings1

HorribleFeelings1

Its a hard knock life
Jan 18, 2020
321
love is a strong emotion, so is desire. For some people, they don't want to leave their love ones, family or friends, some are afraid of what's going to happen when you die and life after your death, it's definitely me. It's hard to think about CTB when your problems is all you can think about. The worst part is there's nothing you can do. I want to spend my final days being happy and living my best life before I CTB but I don't think I will because I'm going to be haunted by my pain. Don't get me wrong I'm definitely ready but I want to die happy, not stressed. How about you guys, will you die happy or no?
 
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T

TimeToBiteTheDust

Visionary
Nov 7, 2019
2,322
Yes. I'm at peace with my decision and method.
 
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P

PeterPrincple

Ruined life
Mar 6, 2020
30
love is a strong emotion, so is desire. For some people, they don't want to leave their love ones, family or friends, some are afraid of what's going to happen when you die and life after your death, it's definitely me. It's hard to think about CTB when your problems is all you can think about. The worst part is there's nothing you can do. I want to spend my final days being happy and living my best life before I CTB but I don't think I will because I'm going to be haunted by my pain. Don't get me wrong I'm definitely ready but I want to die happy, not stressed. How about you guys, will you die happy or no?


Not happy, family will be devastated.
 
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Broken Chimera

Broken Chimera

The abyss also gazes into you
May 27, 2019
972
Idk about happy, but definitely peaceful. I plan to do a couple of things I never had a chance to do before I ctb. So when I do I won't have any regrets.
 
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HorribleFeelings1

HorribleFeelings1

Its a hard knock life
Jan 18, 2020
321
Not happy, family will be devastated.
Yeah I know how you feel, that's been in the back of my head too
Idk about happy, but definitely peaceful. I plan to do a couple of things I never had a chance to do before I ctb. So when I do I won't have any regrets.
I'm gonna try to do what I love the most before I CTB (:
 
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P

PeterPrincple

Ruined life
Mar 6, 2020
30
I dont feel like doing anything or being reckless. If youre suicidal youre likely depressed.
 
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HorribleFeelings1

HorribleFeelings1

Its a hard knock life
Jan 18, 2020
321
I dont feel like doing anything or being reckless. If youre suicidal youre likely depressed.
Some people are at peace because they finally get to stop their pain by suicide
 
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P

PeterPrincple

Ruined life
Mar 6, 2020
30
Some people are at peace because they finally get to stop their pain by suicide


Maybe i can start to feel that way, it's all over anyway so why stress right?
 
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M

MaybeSoon

Experienced
Oct 11, 2019
261
My death will be, I've researched enough to know that. My mind will be a mess though unless I can get over the guilt of hurting loved ones.
 
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I

Ireland

Member
Feb 27, 2020
18
I don't want to do it but feel I have no choice as physically ill. Not sure I'm brave enough to carry it out and am devastated to be leaving everyone and how they will be affected. Can't talk to anyone about it.
 
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LonelySoul

LonelySoul

Member
Mar 13, 2020
64
love is a strong emotion, so is desire. For some people, they don't want to leave their love ones, family or friends, some are afraid of what's going to happen when you die and life after your death, it's definitely me. It's hard to think about CTB when your problems is all you can think about. The worst part is there's nothing you can do. I want to spend my final days being happy and living my best life before I CTB but I don't think I will because I'm going to be haunted by my pain. Don't get me wrong I'm definitely ready but I want to die happy, not stressed. How about you guys, will you die happy or no?

I think the fact that I will be committing suicide will indicate that I am not happy. I will be most sorry to leave my one and only friend in this life, but in some ways, he understands. He is the opposite of me, he chooses to not have friends, whereas I would dearly love to have them, but can't seem to keep them. They don't find me interesting enough for some reason.

Family causes me emotional pain, so leaving them won't be a hardship.
 
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Fragile

Fragile

Broken
Jul 7, 2019
1,496
i feel like happy isn't exactly the way to describe it for me, more like i'll die in acceptance of what was my life and in acceptance of not knowing what will come after i'm gone.

my death will definitely be peaceful and that brings me joy, but i wouldn't want to be dead if i was actually happy at all. so i'm just comfortable with it.
 
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one4all

one4all

I'll put pennies on your eyes and it will go away.
Feb 3, 2020
3,455
My death hopefully will be peaceful, to a certain extent. Since i'm not sure if it will be by my own means or something takes me out before i CTB, it's hard to say.
 
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highlyvolatile

highlyvolatile

I don't know anymore.
Feb 14, 2020
278
I think it'll be peaceful. I don't see myself struggling too much or anything. I'm sorry to those who'll be left behind and hurting as a result but I'm hoping that death will be better than this life has been.
 
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LonelySoul

LonelySoul

Member
Mar 13, 2020
64
I do not think anyone in my family will miss me. They all think I'm stupid.

Got a family wedding in 3 weeks time and given the unknown quantity of this Coronavirus, I asked a perfectly genuine question. Do we wear some kind of mouth covering/mask? One of my sisters then says, "oh I think she was joking, don't want there to be any misunderstanding, etc" I put her straight and said that it was a genuine question, as none of us know how to handle this.

Some months back on a family WhatsApp group, I ended up alienating one half of my family by asking a genuine question and it all blew up in my face. It just annoys the shit out of me that nobody seems to be on my side, they all just stick together.

So me leaving this world would end my pain. I couldn't give a shit about theirs.
 
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Yomyom

Yomyom

Darker dearie, much darker
Feb 5, 2020
923
I have two peaceful method that I struggle to choose one of them, I always change my mind about the methods, it's making me crazy
 
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ghostspace

ghostspace

ghost space, ghosts pace
Feb 10, 2020
410
It will be as peaceful as it can possibly be. I have SN and meto, that's the most peaceful method I have access to.

The method will be peaceful, my heart will probably feel heavy and sad at the thought of leaving this world. I'll probably have a panic attack once I start to feel it working. My plan is to image going home, to the house I grew up in. Being eight years old again and running up the driveway, crunching on fall leaves the whole way. At the house, my whole family will be waiting, they'll hug me and I'll belong somewhere again. Hopefully these images will calm me in my last moments.
 
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U

Ulisses

Arcanist
Feb 21, 2020
487
do not. There are many torments of mine. the only ones who care are my family. I no longer have my childhood friends.
 
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ghostspace

ghostspace

ghost space, ghosts pace
Feb 10, 2020
410
On second thought, it's going to be impossible to not feel tremendous guilt about those I'm leaving. I'm leaving because I'm not compatible with this world, not because of anything they did, but I know they'll blame themselves. I think I will probably die crying. I wish I could die naturally at 22, so that they could all be there with me. I really, really don't want to die alone.
 
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L

lizinha

Student
Feb 6, 2019
144
Yes and no I now can locate my sweet spots and I have the correct ligature/matural and I think i've got this but im still unsure on how about my body will react. Wish it was easier and I feel like the one's that hurt me (they're gone now) So unsure if theyll even hear about my passing..
 
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A

Awayout

Member
Jun 17, 2019
60
I lost the five most important people to me due to my idiotic ways. I'll never get them back as I hurt them in a way that can never be repaired and due to the hurt I put on them, I've decided that when it comes time for me to ctb I will do it in the most painful way I can find as I do not deserve a peaceful outing.
 
waterbottleman

waterbottleman

Not a person
Sep 30, 2019
721
I think it will be peaceful for me but you never really know until you actually do it.

Ever since I decided with virtual certainty that I am going to ctb I've been happier than I was before.
 
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S

s1mplem3

Arcanist
Mar 4, 2020
454
I've never been happy but I would be glad to die with someone around me. I have only one chance to find out how my death will be.
 
D

Deleted member 14386

I am not advising anything
Jan 28, 2020
784
My death will be, I've researched enough to know that. My mind will be a mess though unless I can get over the guilt of hurting loved ones.
i feel like happy isn't exactly the way to describe it for me, more like i'll die in acceptance of what was my life and in acceptance of not knowing what will come after i'm gone.

my death will definitely be peaceful and that brings me joy, but i wouldn't want to be dead if i was actually happy at all. so i'm just comfortable with it.
I do not think anyone in my family will miss me. They all think I'm stupid.

Got a family wedding in 3 weeks time and given the unknown quantity of this Coronavirus, I asked a perfectly genuine question. Do we wear some kind of mouth covering/mask? One of my sisters then says, "oh I think she was joking, don't want there to be any misunderstanding, etc" I put her straight and said that it was a genuine question, as none of us know how to handle this.

Some months back on a family WhatsApp group, I ended up alienating one half of my family by asking a genuine question and it all blew up in my face. It just annoys the shit out of me that nobody seems to be on my side, they all just stick together.

So me leaving this world would end my pain. I couldn't give a shit about theirs.

Yup to all of this
 
selfhater

selfhater

Experienced
Mar 1, 2020
222
i won't die happy but neither i will live happy, my life is full of horrible pain and death is the only way out whether i want it or no, but i'm not happy that im gonna end just like this
 
C

CheckOut

Member
Mar 13, 2020
19
i won't die happy but neither i will live happy, my life is full of horrible pain and death is the only way out whether i want it or no, but i'm not happy that im gonna end just like this
Me neither, it will destroy my family, which I am estranged from due to BPD and Bipolar, but I simply can't go on like this. Yet can't find a suitable method...just want to go in my sleep
 
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O

On Edge

Member
Mar 15, 2020
25
love is a strong emotion, so is desire. For some people, they don't want to leave their love ones, family or friends, some are afraid of what's going to happen when you die and life after your death, it's definitely me. It's hard to think about CTB when your problems is all you can think about. The worst part is there's nothing you can do. I want to spend my final days being happy and living my best life before I CTB but I don't think I will because I'm going to be haunted by my pain. Don't get me wrong I'm definitely ready but I want to die happy, not stressed. How about you guys, will you die happy or no?
Yes I will die a dignified death. Check out the resources thread here on SS.
 
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