Is this what happiness feels like?

[Dean]

Whenever I think about suicide, I'm filled with such a strange feeling of content and relief. As strange as it sounds it almost reminds me of my childhood happiness. I started looking at my Nembutal as the answer to all my problems in a bottle. I think it's amazing how relieving it is to know that you have a right to make your own decisions about life and you have a way out no matter how bad it gets.

 

[Deleted_9cKnXB34QG]

Yeah, it's kinda weird but I've been feeling so much better since I bought my rope.
It's like having a key to your cage and knowing that you can get out at any moment. There surely is a strange sense of relief in that.

 

[throwaway123]

If you're asking,you're not happy.

You're relieved but not happy. If you were happy you wouldn't be here.

 

[Deleted member 847]

For me is more like a feeling of finally having the freedom to choose instead of being forced to play the game of existence like a dog. I don't consider it happiness, at best it's peace.

 

[MEoDP]

Just having that option in your hands is very empowering and relieving. If I could,I'd buy my tools to CTB right now but I wouldn't use them immediately,I'd keep them till life gets bad enough that I need to escape.

 

[Marystevenson1001]

I feel the same! I have all my supplies, my plan in place, I wrote my will and suicide note. And I can do it any time. And it feels so good...such a relief that I haven't wanted to. I feel lighter on my feet. So weird. Having the option is the most positive and hopeful that I have felt in years.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Since I started contemplating suicide from around 13-14yo I have always found comfort in knowing that if life really got to the point where I couldn´t take more then I could just quit, it is so comforting so know there is a way out.

 

[bigj75]

Yes a sense of relief, hope, goal, peace, etc. It's such a priceless mindset to have.

 

[Cold]

As the old stoics used to say: "No matter how fucked up your life gets, the exit is always open."

 

[throwaway123]

As the old stoics used to say: "No matter how fucked up your life gets, the exit is always open."

But you still have to overcome the survival instinct.

 

[Deleted member 847]

The joke of life is that you're going to die anyway one day (and that day is always now, because there is only the now) and probably disappear, but you can't accept it while being alive and waste your time suffering anyway just for a irrational feeling.

 

[Deleted member 847]

We are chained to this illusion and can't escape it because of some electrical impulses, it's ridiculous

 

[RacilyDank]

As others have said, it's not happiness it's relief. I experienced a huge sense of relief just from ordering what I need to ctb. I wish I had Nembutal because it would be so much more peaceful and reliable, but even then I'd probably just stare at the bottle to feel better! If I didn't summon the guts to use it that'd be one expensive way to feel a bit of relief

 

[bigj75]

But you still have to overcome the survival instinct.

this. Or if you are disabled to the point where you can't ctb yourself then you are screwed until you die of old age.