Is this goodbye? SN (IC)

[inertescape]

I'm not sure if this is goodbye, but so far today, I've been taking the necessary steps to begin the process of ctb. Going with the stat method.

My ingredients:
SN (will make 2 glasses)
Domperidone (3x10g)
Paracetamol (2x500g)
Propranolol - not decided quantity yet

This all depends on finding out when a family member will be coming back home, so I might not be able to ctb if they are due back too early. And also if I don't wuss out from SI.

I'm already so hungry, but hopefully the discomfort from the hunger might get me used to the idea of discomfort from the process.
I just want to thank everyone on the forum for what you do. I think it's great that people have a place to vent, where they don't have to worry about getting sectioned, if they can truly speak their mind. After my plans with N2 fell through, I was able to find another method, that didn't completely freak me out, with the help of everyone who contributes to this forum, so thank you so much for that, as well.

I'm really hoping that I can go through with this. I'm not sure how much I'll be able to update about the process, but think I might be comforted by being able to still talk to you guys, so hopefully I can.

 

[EmptyCatalyst]

should this be goodbye, I do hope you find the peace that you seek.

 

[wr3ck3d]

Good luck

 

[anguila_anguila]

You're planning on doing it at a place/time when a family member might find your body?
Does the family member know about this?
Because if they don't then is there any change you can slightly rethink your plans because in addition to your death, the surprise finding of your body will probably scar them for life.

 

[SilentSadness]

If you are to succeed with your plans, I hope it is quick and painless for you and not too distressing for your family. Otherwise, you are always welcome here should you change your mind. Good luck and I wish you peace.

 

[inertescape]

You're planning on doing it at a place/time when a family member might find your body?
Does the family member know about this?
Because if they don't then is there any change you can slightly rethink your plans because in addition to your death, the surprise finding of your body will probably scar them for life.

I really don't like the idea of them finding me, either. I don't have a car, unfortunately, so can't take myself to a secluded area. I also have a low pain/discomfort tolerance so am questioning whether I would be able to ctb without screaming or making some sort of noise, if I were to go to a hotel. But you've made me have another think about this. I really would like them to not be the ones to find me, if I could avoid that.

 

[ranaway]

wish you the best.

 

[inertescape]

Taken my paracetamol 17 minutes ago. Taped a warning to call police on my cupboard I will use to barricade my door. Hopefully whoever opens the door will see this and call the police, and not come in. So fucking nervous to take the Domperidone.

Edit: Taken the 3 Domperidone tabs
That's me mixed my first glass of SN and water with a little propranolol (80mg).
The propranolol hasn't completely dissolved, so it's a bit grainy. I'm hoping that won't be a problem, if I am able to drink it.

Second glass mixed, too.
Due to take the first glass in less than 20 minutes. Would someone be able to private chat with me, once I'm ready?

 

[depressedcooc]

i can private chat if you're still there

 

[FuneralCry]

Farewell and best wishes, I hope that you find the freedom that you are searching for.

 

[ranaway]

rest in peace OP