Is there more to life than this?

[Anonymoushangman]

Hey there everyone! Been thinking about my life and my current circumstances recently and wanted to see if anyone else here felt the same way or had similar experiences.

How is anyone happy? I ask myself this all the time…It can't be just me who feels like life is utterly pointless. For context I'm a college aged male in the US and I'm struggling to find a reason to even go forward with living. It seems that my whole point of existence is just to graduate school and then commit to working a 40hr 9-5 work week until I'm old and tired. I know that this must be the reality for some, if not most people — we need wage-slaves to keep the world spinning— but what part of this equation is even enjoyable? This is all life is for so many people their existence is just to work, have a family and then die. Is that it?

I know everyone wants to be special but the harsh reality is that few of us really are or ever will be. You're just another cog in the machine, replaceable in every way and when you eventually die you will have changed nothing and left little to no impact on anyone besides a select few.

Whats even worse about this is that it feels like nowadays with social media we are constantly taunted by those who have somehow escaped this cycle of working for little to nothing while you have to struggle so you can afford a roof over your head and basic means to live. It fills me with so much jealousy, why are there people who have been blessed with having everything while it seems that I am destined to just be another nothing, a background character, just another average joe.

I almost cant look at social media anymore because it feels like just endless droves of people who are living a life that will never be a reality to me. I will never be that good looking, or that rich, or have that many friends. And I understand that social media isn't completely a real reflection of people's lives but it does give you snapshots into the moments people have and it seems like I will ever have these moments. That dream house I see online will always be a dream, same goes for that dream car, dream romantic partner, or whatever else one might desire. Weirdly I'm not so sure these things would even bring me real long term happiness but I guess I will probably never really know. I know life isn't fair but why not quit if you're losing?

Some things you can't win, you just weren't lucky enough and thats the game, thats life. I'll never look how I would like to, I'll never be able to achieve the dreams I always desired, I'll never be happy with who I am. It just doesn't seem worth it. Is there something I am missing? Does anyone else know because there's no way millions of people can be happy with living like this. To me life just seems to be a continuous stream of failures and disappointments.

 

[wtg]

No

 

[wounded_warrior]

Life is suffering, as the Buddhists say. As someone who had happiness for decades and lost it I can only say what used to make me happy.

What you're describing sounds like anhedonia to me. Until you can fix that with treatment, then the usual things that create joy aren't going to work.

I used to find happiness in the weird in-between places like finding the perfect pizza, travelling to strange places, meeting new people, reading great books. I don't think happiness is the usual, house/career/family/wealth. In my experience it's found elsewhere.

As someone with severe health problems now the anhedonia is real and I can't find much happiness but I keep looking. Good luck with your search.

 

[divinemistress36]

Social media is fake and only shows peoples best moments not their sad moments . My therapist's sister is rich and on the surface seems to have it all but she says shes not happy and its all an act. Everyone struggles but some of us struggle a lot more than others

 

[Darkover]

What kind of changes or pursuits are you interested in exploring?
What activities or experiences give you joy and a sense of purpose?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

There's more in life but you will have to put effort into it t reach it and you'd also need a little bit of luck but without trying it nothing's gonna happen. Idk how old you are - I mean 'college aged male" - but I think you have a lot of chances after college to try sth and if you don't want to become a wage slave then try to setup sth on your own - if it ultimately fails there's still the option to CTB but you've tried it!

 

[sugarb]

Hey there everyone! Been thinking about my life and my current circumstances recently and wanted to see if anyone else here felt the same way or had similar experiences.

How is anyone happy? I ask myself this all the time…It can't be just me who feels like life is utterly pointless. For context I'm a college aged male in the US and I'm struggling to find a reason to even go forward with living. It seems that my whole point of existence is just to graduate school and then commit to working a 40hr 9-5 work week until I'm old and tired. I know that this must be the reality for some, if not most people — we need wage-slaves to keep the world spinning— but what part of this equation is even enjoyable? This is all life is for so many people their existence is just to work, have a family and then die. Is that it?

I know everyone wants to be special but the harsh reality is that few of us really are or ever will be. You're just another cog in the machine, replaceable in every way and when you eventually die you will have changed nothing and left little to no impact on anyone besides a select few.

Whats even worse about this is that it feels like nowadays with social media we are constantly taunted by those who have somehow escaped this cycle of working for little to nothing while you have to struggle so you can afford a roof over your head and basic means to live. It fills me with so much jealousy, why are there people who have been blessed with having everything while it seems that I am destined to just be another nothing, a background character, just another average joe.

I almost cant look at social media anymore because it feels like just endless droves of people who are living a life that will never be a reality to me. I will never be that good looking, or that rich, or have that many friends. And I understand that social media isn't completely a real reflection of people's lives but it does give you snapshots into the moments people have and it seems like I will ever have these moments. That dream house I see online will always be a dream, same goes for that dream car, dream romantic partner, or whatever else one might desire. Weirdly I'm not so sure these things would even bring me real long term happiness but I guess I will probably never really know. I know life isn't fair but why not quit if you're losing?

Some things you can't win, you just weren't lucky enough and thats the game, thats life. I'll never look how I would like to, I'll never be able to achieve the dreams I always desired, I'll never be happy with who I am. It just doesn't seem worth it. Is there something I am missing? Does anyone else know because there's no way millions of people can be happy with living like this. To me life just seems to be a continuous stream of failures and disappointments.

It's a perception thing.

When you look at a million dollar car on social media, you go "damn, I'll never have that. But maybe it wouldn't have made me happy anyway."

Other people think "oh that's cool" and keep scrolling, or "wow, if I keep grinding I can get a cool car like that too", or "ugh, capitalistic greed", or any number of other things.

Another example- a TV ad that says "here's a celebrity wearing these cool clothes, buy this so you're cool!" I'd ignore it because I have zero interest in fashion. Does that make it a bad ad? No, because it's targeted at the predominant perspective, not mine.

It's not like all non-suicidal people are just blissfully unaware of the devastating immutable truth of the meaningless of existence. Some haven't thought about it, sure, but a good chunk have and just don't care. You could spend a million years talking about the pointlessness and they wouldn't care, because to them there is meaning. Same as if someone tried to convince me to see that I'm wrong about there not being meaning.

So- again, it's perception.

note: Being ND and/or mentally ill exacerbates the perspective differences.

 

[landslide2]

Social media is basically an ad platform now, much like the internet in general. And ads are designed to make us feel like we are less because we don't have such and such things. So if we had this or bought that, especially buy, then we'd be happier. In fact the amount of money that just the ad business runs on social media/internet is a ridiculous waste that doesn't justify the expenditure. It's like a house of cards propped up by every one involved. Not unlike financial inventions like derivatives that crashed the world economy. I do sympathize with things like the cost of living and profiteering pricing people out. It's an unsustainable system and the world over is feeling it. It's time to eat the rich as they say and change the systems that created all this inequity. But it's not about a dream house, dream car, or dream anything. That much at least is the advertising and shit nature of social media at work. We do have to figure out what it is we want and what things to give more meaning, thought, love and energy to.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

Like another member has said, it sounds like you may be experiencing anhedonia.

Regarding social media, another member has put it very well: it's just a gigantic ad. The people you think are living a great life, aren't, they are actors who are playing a role. I don't even think some things are true, I accept that it is all fake. The same way that you watch a movie and know it's all pretend. You may know that in a break up scene the actress is acting so well because she went through a break up not long ago but that doesn't change the fact that it is an act.

Another perspective I'd like to give is that, I personally don't see the life of a YouTuber or Influencer desirable. Think about the logistics of it. They are business owners in a market that is saturated and where they need to bend over backwards to please the algorithm. They also expose a ton of themselves and their life, it's one of the few jobs where you get criticised brutally and personally.

Even if things work out well for you and make a lot of money, then you need to keep going, you have more eyes on you, you need to keep pleasing the algorithm and at some point there's little ideas about what to do next. It's a type of job that speedruns burnout.

I think people envy the perceived life style but if they had their job, they wouldn't want it.

As a comparison, at my "regular job":
- I clock in at X and off at Y, then I don't think about work until the next day
- I get to do the role I applied for and that I'm good at
- I don't need to worry about the state of the company, if it goes bankrupt, I find a new company
- If things are stressful at work, I can talk to my boss or colleagues and arrangements can be made
- If I want time off, I can just book it and take it
- If I did something wrong, I receive constructive criticism

As an influencer:
- I never clock off, I always have to think what I'll do next as my livelihood depends on it
- I need to do several roles that I may not like (marketing, financial, etc) or manage the people I hired to do those roles
- I constantly worry about the state of my business and need to keep it afloat
- If things are stressful there's no one else but me
- If I want time off, that may result in money loss
- If I do something wrong, or even if I don't, I am criticised brutally and personally


Influencers or YouTubers are just business owners that show off a lot. I've had my own business in the past, for 7 years, and I'd take a regular job anytime as being a business owner means you dedicate your life to your work. Influencers want you to think they have a great life because that's how they make money. They sell dreams.
They're not living such great lives, that's why they usually burn out after some years or are involved in controversies.

You are in college now, you have your life ahead of you if you want. Think about the skills you'd like to develop and would enjoy performing every day.