Is there any way to make them not hate you?

[shelterwhereisleep]

I'm want to keep this short but I doubt I can. My partner has left me. We are living as roommates. I cannot live without him, I've already lost so much, so I'm going to CTB. I don't want him to hate me. I want him to love me. Part of him still loves me. I know that.

Is these something I can put in my note that would help? I love him so much.
I also long ago expressed this could/would happen. I believe the reason he left me is because he is having an age-related crisis. He's hanging out with way younger than him and I think taking their advice despite not even having much life experience. I believe even if I lived he would regret his actions and know he made a mistake.
But I don't think he'll realize in time.
I can't go on like this much longer.
But I think he truly still loves me and I want to CTB while he does. I can't imagine leaving without his love.

But like I said I don't want him to hate me. I think he'll be angry. Does anyone have advice for that?

 

[AnonThinker]

He might feel very guilty if you ctb. So I'd put in the note that it wasn't his fault and there was nothing he could've done to prevent you from doing it. And that he should move forward with his life, in whichever manner that might be.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I'm sorry for what you're dealing with. You can try to urge him not to harbor anger towards yoh after the fact but you can't control his feelings. You can't do that while you're alive, much less afterwards.


What did he say when he left?


But if this rupture just happened I would still urge you to sit with the feelings a little more and not to act in haste. Things are naturally their rawest in the immediate aftermath and we can find ourselves to to be more adaptable than we thought.

 

[Didn't do NUFFIN]

If you decide to ctb, i would recommend writing in your note that it wasn't there fault and you love them and didn't want to hurt them, tell them how much you appreciated there company, it could permanently scar them if they believe they are responsible for your ctb. As for them possibly hating you if you do this, i don't know, it's not up to you how others feel unfortunately, on the bright side even if they did, you wouldn't be alive to see it. Best of luck to you, im very sorry your partner left you.

 

[derpyderpins]

I'm want to keep this short but I doubt I can. My partner has left me. We are living as roommates. I cannot live without him, I've already lost so much, so I'm going to CTB. I don't want him to hate me. I want him to love me. Part of him still loves me. I know that.

Is these something I can put in my note that would help? I love him so much.
I also long ago expressed this could/would happen. I believe the reason he left me is because he is having an age-related crisis. He's hanging out with way younger than him and I think taking their advice despite not even having much life experience. I believe even if I lived he would regret his actions and know he made a mistake.
But I don't think he'll realize in time.
I can't go on like this much longer.
But I think he truly still loves me and I want to CTB while he does. I can't imagine leaving without his love.

But like I said I don't want him to hate me. I think he'll be angry. Does anyone have advice for that?

I think there's probably a little part of him that will always love you, but I also think once someone starts resenting/disliking another it's almost impossible to get rid of that.

Wanting him to love you because of something in your note seems cruel. You'll be gone, so don't torment him.

 

[Ash]

Anger is a natural part of the grieving process and it's not for you to dictate what people should and shouldn't feel once you're dead, no matter how or when you die.

Nor should you, IMHO, try to use your suicide to manipulate others and their feelings. It should only be about you.

 

[shelterwhereisleep]

I think there's probably a little part of him that will always love you, but I also think once someone starts resenting/disliking another it's almost impossible to get rid of that.

Wanting him to love you because of something in your note seems cruel. You'll be gone, so don't torment him.

You're right. I don't think he could get over the negative feelings for me.
And I definitely won't write in my note about wanting him to love me. I was just saying that here.
I don't want to write anything that would hurt him more.

Anger is a natural part of the grieving process and it's not for you to dictate what people should and shouldn't feel once you're dead, no matter how or when you die.

Nor should you, IMHO, try to use your suicide to manipulate others and their feelings. It should only be about you.

I understand. I don't want to manipulate anyone. It is about me. I was just hoping I could soften the blow somehow basically.

 

[AR3S_]

I'm want to keep this short but I doubt I can. My partner has left me. We are living as roommates. I cannot live without him, I've already lost so much, so I'm going to CTB. I don't want him to hate me. I want him to love me. Part of him still loves me. I know that.

Is these something I can put in my note that would help? I love him so much.
I also long ago expressed this could/would happen. I believe the reason he left me is because he is having an age-related crisis. He's hanging out with way younger than him and I think taking their advice despite not even having much life experience. I believe even if I lived he would regret his actions and know he made a mistake.
But I don't think he'll realize in time.
I can't go on like this much longer.
But I think he truly still loves me and I want to CTB while he does. I can't imagine leaving without his love.

But like I said I don't want him to hate me. I think he'll be angry. Does anyone have advice for that?

I would try and put yourselves in his shoes, as I do with my ex-partner. I would not hate her/myself for CTB, I would just feel horribly upset or guilty as I would remember the happy, smiley, fun version of that person rather than any of the bad, ugly or upsetting features.

Thus I don't think I could be real angry, I would be incredibly upset over it; but remember anger stems from hurt/pain, thus after some time he'll realize it's not anger, rather he's incredibly hurt due to losing a happy memory of a person (you).

In my note I have stressed I'm at peace with my decision, and would be more at peace CTB, rather than forcing myself to push on, as it's agonizing.

Sorry for the long post, +just my view, hope it helps somehow :)

 

[shelterwhereisleep]

I would try and put yourselves in his shoes, as I do with my ex-partner. I would not hate her/myself for CTB, I would just feel horribly upset or guilty as I would remember the happy, smiley, fun version of that person rather than any of the bad, ugly or upsetting features.

Thus I don't think I could be real angry, I would be incredibly upset over it; but remember anger stems from hurt/pain, thus after some time he'll realize it's not anger, rather he's incredibly hurt due to losing a happy memory of a person (you).

In my note I have stressed I'm at peace with my decision, and would be more at peace CTB, rather than forcing myself to push on, as it's agonizing.

Sorry for the long post, +just my view, hope it helps somehow :)

Thank you, it actually does. I appreciate it.