Venting Is there any way to get out?

[obei]

So I tried everything… serious therapy for about 2 years now, therapy, meds, hospitalizations…and I am still at the same place. Is there a way to get out? I dont wanna ctb unless I feel like there isnt any way out, but I have tried everything, literally…

 

[vak]

I believe that some of us are destined to die by own hands. That being said, if I were to avoid ctb, getting a pet and similar responsibilites would keep me alive - I'm actively avoiding that and isolating myself but for many people this is big enough reason to live and endure ~ living for others despite yourself.

But people do leave their pets and children behind, so it's far from bulletproof reason..

 

[Downdraft]

getting a pet and similar responsibilites would keep me alive

It's complicated, you may not be ready or the pressure can make you feel more trapped. In my opinion, taking care of a pet takes a lot of responsibility and not something that should be impulsively done. At worst, you will still be suicidal and leave them alone. On the other hand, it seems to work for some people so don't discard it entirely, just debate yourself if you are ready and be prepared for a lot of responsibility.

 

[vak]

It's complicated, you may not be ready or the pressure can make you feel more trapped. In my opinion, taking care of a pet takes a lot of responsibility and not something that should be impulsively done. At worst, you will still be suicidal and leave them alone. On the other hand, it seems to work for some people so don't discard it entirely, just debate yourself if you are ready and be prepared for a lot of responsibility.

I agree with you 100%, I was raised with pets (over 100 of cats throughout the years) and was taking care of friends' dogs - for me it was the only time when I was "functioning" and didn't even stop to think about myself, it was almost magical experience. But yes, it's a good warning that it should not be an impulsive decision as it would only harm the animal.

 

[FutureHanger]

normally I don't try recommending this to people who've already used multiple attempts at getting help since it's not a magic solution but you did say you wanted to try everything: meditation. I remember when I did it my suicidal thoughts died down though I got frustrated and stopped after 3 weeks because I felt it wasn't helping enough. start with 2 mins a day then after a few days do 5 mins every day and see how it goes from there.