Is there any point to making friends here?

[UnwindingStar]

I mean, seriously, is it? Any friend I make here has the potential to die soon or later, including me.

Yet, I really want to make friends here.

I need to feel less alone feeling this way, even if our friendship only lasts a short while. I'm tired of convincing people this is what I've always wanted. I want someone who understands.

From the moment I understood death, I thought it would better to kill oneself over having no control over your own death. This was before I became obsessed with suicide in general to stop the pain and abuse I eventually suffered shortly after.

I have basically been dancing around with death and breaking up with them when life gets a little easier (not better, not ever better). Then I come back like an embarrassed ex-lover saying "I was wrong....can we start again?". And death always tells me "I told you so" and we start up planning the end of my life.

If anyone has similar feelings and would like to be friends or even chat existentially about life in general, shoot me a PM. I would love it.

 

[dinosavr]

I think in a long shot it would cause more harm than good and it's worth it and eventually you'd pull each other down.

 

[derpyderpins]

My experience trying to make friends here has been mixed to say the least, lol. You do have to remember that we're not all the most stable people (myself absolutely included!), so in addition to ctb you could run into unexpected behavior. If someone gets close to you, try to be understanding.

My DMs are open but I've adopted a "not reaching out first" policy. I will lend an ear to anyone who needs to vent.

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

I mean, seriously, is it? Any friend I make here has the potential to die soon or later, including me.

I've made a couple friends here that I'm glad to know. (Not meeting up irl, but sometimes chatting on other platforms.) As pointed out, we're not exactly the most stable people here, so be understanding that sometimes people don't have the capacity. A few people I've befriended have abruptly disappeared. (Heck, I did that myself for a time.) Some have ctb. So it can be a mixed bag and challenging at times, but worth it ime.

 

[UnwindingStar]

I think in a long shot it would cause more harm than good and it's worth it and eventually you'd pull each other down.

Sometimes, I feel like it literally may be the point

 

[Agon321]

Some people on this site have built good relationships.
There are relatively many people here, so I think you may meet someone interesting.

It all depends on you whether you want it or not.

Just be careful who you trust and don't necessarily share confidential information with others.
There are definitely people on this site who have no good intentions.
Emotionally unstable people can be easy targets.

 

[dinosavr]

Sometimes, I feel like it literally may be the point

I could agree that when you want to feel lower, you might benefit from it, but the problem begins when it's you who causes someone else's suffering.

 

[Dianaaa]

En serio, ¿no? Cualquier amigo que haga aquí tiene el potencial de morir tarde o temprano, incluyéndome a mí.

Aún así, realmente quiero hacer amigos aquí.

Necesito sentirme menos sola sintiéndome así, aunque nuestra amistad dure poco tiempo. Estoy cansada de convencer a la gente de que esto es lo que siempre he querido. Quiero a alguien que me comprenda.

Desde el momento en que entendí la muerte, pensé que era mejor suicidarse que no tener control sobre la propia muerte. Esto fue antes de obsesionarme con el suicidio en general para detener el dolor y el abuso que finalmente sufrí poco después.

Básicamente he estado bailando con la muerte y rompiendo con ellos cuando la vida se vuelve un poco más fácil (no mejor, nunca mejor). Luego vuelvo como un ex amante avergonzado que dice "Me equivoqué... ¿podemos empezar de nuevo?". Y la muerte siempre me dice "Te lo dije" y comenzamos a planificar el final de mi vida.

Si alguien tiene sentimientos similares y le gustaría ser amigo o incluso charlar existencialmente sobre la vida en general, envíeme un mensaje privado. me encantaría

Creo que valdría la pena, supongo que solo hablo por mí pero encontraría reconfortante saber que alguien se tomó el tiempo de leer lo que escribí, me refiero a que por lo menos en mi vida, no encuentro a absolutamente nadie que esté dispuesto a escucharme, siento que eso empeora mi situación, porque es como estar desolada y rota a la vez, como si estuviera en medio del desierto, herida, sin nadie más, sería bueno encontrar a alguien, no importa si igual está herido, solo me gustaría sentirme un poco menos sola, aunque eso pueda ser peligroso, pero si lo pensamos bien, la vida ya es bastante peligrosa

 

[Minsu]

I agree with you. There's no point in making friends here in a long term

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Transience is the normal state of affairs when it comes to human relationships.

So don't let that fact get in the way of cultivating relationships if you'd think they help.

 

[F Sea]

Hello.
The point is the same as with any other friend coming from another place.
If it's a good friendship it's worth it, here and everywhere else.

 

[SoulWhisperer]

I thinks we're more or less mostly companions on the same boat. It probably will be tough to have long term friendships like outside of here but I think that people can mutually understand each other at least, even silently.

 

[UKscotty]

I'd say it's a very bad idea. Us on here are not going to be in good mental health.

Literally anyone could decide at any moment it's their time to CTB and be gone from this world 5 minutes from now.

 

[Kalista]

i've given up making friends here.

i'm going to share with you my experience in trying to meet people here which will also be partially a vent. some i actually wanted to try and make friends with:
- one was a misunderstanding that ended the contact completely even after i explained the truth of the situation to this user. this one actually fucking hurt me deeply because it's a similar situation from what triggered everything late last year which is the final straw. i've learned that people who fucking dismiss my explanation and only see what they want to fucking believe should not be given any of my time and energy. they refused to understand anything about me and what i'm going through. so fuck ALL of those people.
- personalities/energy that didn't match mine so it became uncomfortable and/or annoying so i stopped
- persistent pro-lifers or hopefuls trying to keep me alive when i've specified i have no intention of continuing after my project fails so i cut contact after a while. these are people who also have an intention of killing themselves. eventually stopped talking to them. fucking hypocrites.
- a few chose to live and go back to whatever the hell they chose to do with their lives. so when they asked how i was and i answer the same fucking thing as always, my situation ends up making them uncomfortable or they just don't respond after i vent. even though they have fucking vented to me about their fucking struggles and have given them attention.
- many others who did respond to a post i made about needing to talk quickly stopped talking to me after i vented. that part is pretty fucking annoying when my post clearly expressed how depressed i was. what did you expect the topic of conversation was going to be? full of unicorns and rainbows?
- one assumed my gender and stopped talking to me after asking and me revealing. this is very similar behavior i've experienced on other platforms. easily realized this person had an agenda after making a 'let's be friends' post on here. so be careful with those people.
- one said he'd hang out with me online but he stopped responding after a few messages
- some have been the typical one or two word responders
- one killed herself by drinking sn. this person is the only one that i actually miss talking to out of every single fucking one i've met on here. she's resting now.
- another also killed himself using sn. there was something off about this one that made me question things

overall, this is not necessarily going to be much different from the people you might meet in other online platforms except the majority are openly suicidal.

as someone has basically mentioned, it's entirely up to you if you want to make all the effort. keep meeting people here, or don't.

 

[3/4Dead]

shrug it's a mixed bag I think. As others have stated, the vast majority of us are not stable and can be a touch unpredictable, so proceed with caution. Relationships of any kind are what you make of them, for me, relationships on SaSu are about finding connections with people who I can speak to about my suicidality without fear of harsh consequences, as well as anything else we find to speak about.

 

[abchia]

This is a hard question. I'd say definitely don't get too attached and don't depend on friends here for your own personal health and well being, but you can meet great and understanding people here to support each other while you're both here. So probably not worth it aside from forum interactions.

 

[Temporal_Anchorite]

I'm inclined to say no, but that's generally my stance towards all online "friendships".

I'm sorry to say, but online friends will never be true friends in any meaningful capacity. As someone who used to have an active & thriving social life irl, I can attest that online friends just simply aren't fulfilling enough. You can't go out to the mall, to the movies, or to parties with online friends. You can't go out for late-night drives and get food, then walk around the neighborhood aimlessly at 3AM with online friends. There are so many different layers of physical and emotional complexity that are entirely absent with online friendships. You're nothing more than an immaterial faceless thing to the other person.

 

[Cress]

I mean, seriously, is it? Any friend I make here has the potential to die soon or later, including me.

Yet, I really want to make friends here.

I need to feel less alone feeling this way, even if our friendship only lasts a short while. I'm tired of convincing people this is what I've always wanted. I want someone who understands.

From the moment I understood death, I thought it would better to kill oneself over having no control over your own death. This was before I became obsessed with suicide in general to stop the pain and abuse I eventually suffered shortly after.

I have basically been dancing around with death and breaking up with them when life gets a little easier (not better, not ever better). Then I come back like an embarrassed ex-lover saying "I was wrong....can we start again?". And death always tells me "I told you so" and we start up planning the end of my life.

If anyone has similar feelings and would like to be friends or even chat existentially about life in general, shoot me a PM. I would love it.

I think it's worth it to talk to someone who's only here for a single day. In reality that's the way we should be treating our loved ones to begin with. Treat every interaction like it could be your last and make every discussion as meaningful as possible. No relationship lasts forever people change people get bored and move on even if they don't pass away.

 

[cryone]

maybe. haven't made any successful ones, but i haven't rly tried either. It's likely that it won't last long, either b/c some1 decides to CTB or leave, but to me that isn't a super valid reason to not try. nothing lasts in this life, ever. just how i think though, and i dont get super hurt when it ends.

There are so many different layers of physical and emotional complexity that are entirely absent with online friendships. You're nothing more than an immaterial faceless thing to the other person.

i disagree with this though. it depends on your values. i dont need to go to the mall, eat, cry, or party with someone to feel content. ive had irl friends, but even then my closest friend for 5 years is online. she means a lot to me. and i know i do to her aswell. i couldn't be happier than how i am talking to them over on calls or ft, really.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

If you don't get attached, I think it is worth it. You just need to keep in mind that you're dealing with people that suffer a lot in their lives and thus can be unpredictable and suddenly leave you.

I have tried to make friends here. Haven't had much luck: one of them disappeared not long after we were chatting on WhatsApp, the other disappeared from SaSu without saying goodbye. She didn't have to obviously, I may mean less to her than her to me or she may simply have decided to not say goodbye for whatever reason, it can just hurt a bit even if you're prepared.

I think this website has a lot of good people with the kind of thought process that I identify with and that's so hard to come by irl so, with that alone, I think it's worth it to try albeit being prepared to be hurt.

 

[numbed one]

I'm hère to bé yr Friend if y want to ! Just pm me !!

 

[CTB Dream]

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[Davey36000]

Some people may not have good intentions on this site, so watch out (depressed people can be more vulnerable).

 

[Gangrel]

I prefer to spend little time with people that understand me and are my kin than to spend time with neurotypicals (honestly non lgbt people too sometimes is super ass to be around), also this forum is not JUST for certain suicide, people can recover, people can take years to take action, who knows. A genuine connection is nice sometimes.

 

[spottem]

I've been trying to find someone to connect with here, preferably someone from Finland or nearby, but I'm beginning to think my efforts are worthless. I'd kill to find someone else similar to me to relate with being a NEET girl. So I'm not sure there is a point in making friends here if it seems impossible.

 

[Temporal_Anchorite]

i disagree with this though. it depends on your values. i dont need to go to the mall, eat, cry, or party with someone to feel content. ive had irl friends, but even then my closest friend for 5 years is online. she means a lot to me. and i know i do to her aswell. i couldn't be happier than how i am talking to them over on calls or ft, really.

Everyone has different personalities, emotional needs, and social preferences for how they engage with the world. I wouldn't even consider myself a huge extravert or anything, but I still love going out on adventures and having meaningful face-to-face conversations with other people. The way you present yourself online is usually a carefully curated and tailored persona, but irl friends get to see the real unfiltered you with all of your flaws, vulnerabilities, and idiosyncrasies. And as I previously mentioned, objectively there is significant chunk of non-verbal expressions and signals that are absent in online friendships. Online friends are certainly better than no friends, but nothing will adequately substitute the intimacy, closeness, and connection of irl relationships.

Some of my best years were spent doing everything from going out to local music venues, playing in bands, attending events, getting into stupid trouble with my boys, exploring abandoned derelict buildings, swapping stories & pensive thoughts with good friends over a backyard open fire, and staying up on late nights watching horror films as my buddy cowers underneath a blanket like a little bitch lmao—a bunch of shit I wouldn't trade for the world. While still far from great, my mental health was profoundly better with a solid group of in-person social connections. Now I've been relegated as a reclusive hermit who only leaves the house to drag myself to a tiresome office job.

 

[willitpass]

I stay away from friendships here. It's a recipe to get hurt. No one is stable here, which runs the risk for unhealthy interactions of many different varieties. And of course the constant risk of losing them that is much higher than in most relationships. Human connection is inevitable. There are users here than I have grown a connection to and try and stay updated on, and it upsets me to see they're going through a particularly rough patch, but I can't let myself get too close. I hurt people when I am unwell. And I could very well get more hurt by getting too close to anyone. So I keep it to human connection. A somewhat emotionally charged acquaintance. But always at arms length to keep myself safe.

 

[gottablast888]

Im never doing it again im completely heartbroken. Miss you so much @AQUA

 

[yxmux]

I personally wouldn't make friends beyond companionship on a site like this. There's the risk of me hurting/triggering other people and vice versa. I also tend to be pretty abandoning, exiling, insensitive, etc. in support groups or similar, and I myself tend to "break character" whenever I'm called out.

I prefer to spend little time with people that understand me and are my kin than to spend time with neurotypicals (honestly non lgbt people too sometimes is super ass to be around)

This definitely applies to me as well.

 

[sometimesoon]

I mean, seriously, is it? Any friend I make here has the potential to die soon or later, including me.

Yet, I really want to make friends here.

I think it is. There is nothing that says your friends have to be life long - its nice when it is - but I have had people in my life for a very short period who nevertheless had a really big impact

The benefit of this forum is you can talk about things that for some are impossible to talk about in IRL.