Is there a way to make my suicide seem like an accidental death??

[Utter_emptiness]

I have been contemplating suicide a lot lately despite the fact that I am happy and i have been going to therapy for months. I also successfully established boundaries with my loved ones and overall improved my quality of life from what it used to be a year before. The truth is that i dread the future, along with its uncertainties, the loss, the pain, the failures, the disappointments, the heartbreak...etc. I just know I will never live my life according to my rules and terms. I will never be satisfied with the way my life will turn out to be, I just know it. What really sucks about suicide is the pain it leaves behind for your loved ones to endure. Those who have gotten attached to you throughout the years of your existence and seem to really love having you around (though I doubt it's true in my case). Suicide is a decision that lasts for a lifetime and it affects all of those people who's ever interacted with you in their life, and that's something I don't think I can get behind. I want my suicide to have minimal effects on those around me especially my mother and that won't be the case unless it seems like death by natural courses. So what are y'all suggestions??

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that if it was straightforward to make a suicide seem like an accident in a reliable way then I think lots of people would go for that method. To me it sounds very difficult trying to make suicide look like an accident but anyway I wish you the best, the reality is that everyone has to die someday and loss is inevitable as long as one exists here, I think that whatever happens in this world after we are gone could never be the concern of the person who has left.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry life has brought you to this point. I do understand your feelings and wishes- I expect many people do and most of us share them.

It's a tricky one though really- I've always felt. I imagine most untimely deaths are going to look suspicious at the very least. Which I imagine means a police investigation and autopsy. I've honestly never really understood why people would think them just disappearing would cause their families less grief. In any case- I'm sure they will consider suicide. Perhaps even murder if a body is never found. I don't know. I guess maybe some people hope they can make it look like they accidentally poisoned themselves or accidentally fell off something. I suppose a ruling of 'death by misadventure' could be ruled. I've just never been sure that would be more comforting to a family. Plus- I imagine they'll look at internet search history- so that's one thing that could be a give away.

I just don't know- I'm sorry. I think the sentiment is caring. I just don't know if it's achievable.

 

[SVEN]

Drowning seems to me like one of the most likely ways to ctb in what can seem an accidental death.
Especially if drink has been taken beforehand. And, make sure to try to seem upbeat in the days prior to the incident and perhaps make routine arrangements for meetings or events days after the accident. (Stuff like dental appointment, hairdressing trim & cut etc).

 

[deomlez]

Very interesting... for me the trigger is : are they able to face my death by ctb ? The answer is : my mother, no, so I wait. My husband, my children, yes, perhaps with some help (some psy are really good, i assume) but they are strong enough. I just care about my body discovering that have to be done by professionals.
I think that it's already hard to ctb without failing, without sight of murder (which would be the worst), don't add any more difficulty...
For your reasons to ctb, i feel in phase. My life is rationnaly not bad but my mind... my brain... my own feelings... me in the world... oh man it's a disaster...

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I can relate to you when you cannot live your life the way you want to live it and the way you wish for it to go. It's a bit similar here so I can fully understand you. Sucide is your natural right in any case you want to leave this world and existence in a peaceful way. Unortunately loved ones and freinds might be hurt and/or have difficulties to undertand your decision unfortunately. In my opinion the best way to make it look like an accident is climbing a mountain and "falling" down due to a wrong step. It's a bit like jumping and it certainly would need a lot of courage to do it. I hope you can find peace and I wish you all the best!

 

[deomlez]

Ad not ensured you will succeed...

 

[Fktw0rld]

All I've found was heavy dosages of OTC meds over an expanded period of time, especially NSAIDs. But you'll have to deal with the ailments from start to finish, which can be months, maybe even years. Eventually going into liver / renal failure. Obviously all while denying any knowledge of what's creating all the issues, leading those around you to believe you're just suffering from these symptoms randomly. And also visits to the hospital if the pain becomes overbearing. When doctors make the claims you'll have to deny everything and say you haven't takin anything in excess. It will be a slow and painful journey.

 

[hahayeaj]

I have been contemplating suicide a lot lately despite the fact that I am happy and i have been going to therapy for months. I also successfully established boundaries with my loved ones and overall improved my quality of life from what it used to be a year before. The truth is that i dread the future, along with its uncertainties, the loss, the pain, the failures, the disappointments, the heartbreak...etc. I just know I will never live my life according to my rules and terms. I will never be satisfied with the way my life will turn out to be, I just know it. What really sucks about suicide is the pain it leaves behind for your loved ones to endure. Those who have gotten attached to you throughout the years of your existence and seem to really love having you around (though I doubt it's true in my case). Suicide is a decision that lasts for a lifetime and it affects all of those people who's ever interacted with you in their life, and that's something I don't think I can get behind. I want my suicide to have minimal effects on those around me especially my mother and that won't be the case unless it seems like death by natural courses. So what are y'all suggestions??

This is a similar problem I'm facing. I would suggest in that case to not leave a note. If there are any hiking things near by, some that could be dangerous, taking a nose dive there would be my best guess

My personal idea of how I'll do this is to have a note, not make it seem accidental. I just wish everyone In my life to know how much I prefer this to be alive.

The future is all figeroutable, but I'm still way to scared of it. Just before hand make sure your loved ones know that you love them.

 

[Horrors Lazuli]

If this is such a big concern for you, I'm afraid you may not actually want to commit suicide. It may be a roadblock you're giving yourself to prevent it. Are you able to discuss this with your therapist at all?

 

[SkyExists]

If this is such a big concern for you, I'm afraid you may not actually want to commit suicide. It may be a roadblock you're giving yourself to prevent it. Are you able to discuss this with your therapist at all?

True, although what this person has said may come off as insensitive, it may be best for you to try to give life another chance?

 

[AllFoxedOut]

True, although what this person has said may come off as insensitive, it may be best for you to try to give life another chance?

hating all things and all people isn't a prerequisite to CTBing. I know I want to die but minimising the pain of others is a high priority for me.

 

[SkyExists]

hating all things and all people isn't a prerequisite to CTBing. I know I want to die but minimising the pain of others is a high priority for me.

Yeah I get that, you could try making sure in the note, (if you are making a note) that this was the best route for you and that you feel happy this way, maybe even assuring your parents they did nothing wrong, even if they did, if you want to fully minimize the amount of pain.

 

[jar-baby]

According to the PPH, inducing hypoxia with nitrogen gas leads to a death whose cause is totally undetectable in an autopsy. However, a) you'd still need someone to remove the setup (bag, gas cylinder) from the room, and b) you would obviously need to be able to acquire a nitrogen gas cylinder.

That said, your reasoning behind wanting to ctb is unconventional. Have you spoken to your therapist about fearing what future holds?

 

[MeltingBrain]

I am facing the same issue

 

[Horrors Lazuli]

hating all things and all people isn't a prerequisite to CTBing. I know I want to die but minimising the pain of others is a high priority for me.

You could try doing it somewhere away from home, like a hotel.

 

[Charlie-Bravo]

According to the PPH, inducing hypoxia with nitrogen gas leads to a death whose cause is totally undetectable in an autopsy. However, a) you'd still need someone to remove the setup (bag, gas cylinder) from the room

But keep in mind that the accomplice could get into a lot of trouble if things deviate from the plan. If he is seen with you prior to ctb, he would be considered a murder suspect who might have killed you. And even if they find out that you offed yourself than he could be charged with tempering with evidence.

Personally, the risk I would give to that person would be too much just for making my death look accidental

 

[istheretrulyalife?]

I mean, if you are near large body of water you could try the shallow water blackout method.

 

[NotGoodEnuf]

I have been contemplating suicide a lot lately despite the fact that I am happy and i have been going to therapy for months. I also successfully established boundaries with my loved ones and overall improved my quality of life from what it used to be a year before. The truth is that i dread the future, along with its uncertainties, the loss, the pain, the failures, the disappointments, the heartbreak...etc. I just know I will never live my life according to my rules and terms. I will never be satisfied with the way my life will turn out to be, I just know it. What really sucks about suicide is the pain it leaves behind for your loved ones to endure. Those who have gotten attached to you throughout the years of your existence and seem to really love having you around (though I doubt it's true in my case). Suicide is a decision that lasts for a lifetime and it affects all of those people who's ever interacted with you in their life, and that's something I don't think I can get behind. I want my suicide to have minimal effects on those around me especially my mother and that won't be the case unless it seems like death by natural courses. So what are y'all suggestions??

I truly could have written this. Thank you.

I am with you. Fully.

 

[Warlord's Pulse]

This "happiness" you mentioned seems like very cyclical, I would take care