Is severe brain damage necessarily a bad thing?

[alltoomuch2]

It suddenly occurred to me tonight, when I was thinking about do I truly want to die or do I just want this all to end, people sometimes warn that if some methods fail you risk brain damage, but if the brain damage was severe enough, so you might be a persistent vegetative state but not dead. Then this hell would end but I'd still be alive so my brother wouldn't be so upset. Or would that prolong things for him? Obviously its impossible to calculate how to do it, but fears of brain damage are maybe overexaggerated because if you don't know, and these feelings are gone, surely it would be ideal. And if you did die, yeah I've upset my brother more but can't help that. Thoughts?

 

[Hotsackage]

Not good, I have undefined cognitive decline, it is not fun. But I can't tell u wats best for u

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I have thought about this. I think it depends on how much awareness you have. You're right that there is a difference between what it looks like on the outside versus what people are actually experiencing (or not). Some people who have failed carbon monoxide or hangings for example were reduced to the intelligence of a toddler or lower and that is horrible looking on the outside but what are they experiencing in their own minds? And of course being left brain-dead but still alive is essentially the same as being dead completely.

But even naturally it makes sense to want to avoid that outcome for your life regardless of what you actually would experience.

And its not like you can predict what damage you end up with. You definitely don't want to develop cognitive problems that worsen your quality of life that probably was already struggling or be left with enough awareness that you know you are a shell of what you used to be.

But in regards to your specific question, being left sort of alive probably makes it harder for family members in some ways. They may have trouble giving up hope that you can recover or struggle with the question of turning off life support.

 

[twin size mattress]

Personally, the thought of severe brain damage terrifies me. Mostly because i dont have control over the damage i do and i'm scared of still being somewhat aware. However, i feel like being a vegetable or having my intelligence reduced to that of a toddler's would just prolong the mental suffering. Especially because they'd know it was from a ctb attempt, and even if youre 'alive' seeing a loved one in a vegetative state would still be pretty heartbreaking. That and i'm personally scared of becoming a greater burden to them.

 

[Themogger]

Sounds a tad claustrophobic idk

 

[alltoomuch2]

Not good, I have undefined cognitive decline, it is not fun. But I can't tell u wats best for u

I'm sorry and I hope I didn't upset you. I suppose in my stupid head I was imagining that I wouldn't be aware any more. But I shouldn't have posted the question. It's no defence but I don't think clearly when I'm having a meltdown. Please forgive me.
You see, that proves it, I always say hurtful things without meaning to. I'm so sorry everyone. Please no one else answer this question. Just let it die like it should.

 

[alltoomuch2]

You see, that proves it, I always say hurtful things without meaning to. I'm so sorry everyone. Please no one else answer this question. Just let it die like it should.

 

[Hotsackage]

Let answer this correctly, it's a personal thing, I don't know what your illnesses are but there are ways to relieve suffering, if you want to not make it hard for your loved ones. Hell i'm in the same boat

 

[anxiousguineapig]

I can't see how surviving in a persistent vegatative state would be any better for family in the long run. Initially it might be - "oh there's hope, they might wake up!" - but in the long run they're still losing you, except that instead of happening all at once, it's a gradual slide into hopelessness. Plus, they might eventually have to decide to withdraw life support.
I don't think fears of brain damage are really about a permanent coma though. The issue is that the same circumstances that will put you in that state will lead to you surviving and regaining consciousness with severe physical and/or cognitive disabilities if you happen to be found 30 minutes earlier or whatever, and that is an outcome very few people find acceptable. Personally I wouldn't care about ending up in a persistent vegetative state if not for my family, but the idea of ending up with a severe disability that prevents me from living independently is far scarier.

 

[TakeMeToHeaven]

no, i sometimes get very aggressive due to trauma (possible brain damage), and assault the people around me

i don't want to end up in prison

 

[rozeske]

It might end up being a different kind of hell for you and definitely for your care taker. We are better off dead than a vegetable for loved ones.

 

[sugarb]

It suddenly occurred to me tonight, when I was thinking about do I truly want to die or do I just want this all to end, people sometimes warn that if some methods fail you risk brain damage, but if the brain damage was severe enough, so you might be a persistent vegetative state but not dead. Then this hell would end but I'd still be alive so my brother wouldn't be so upset. Or would that prolong things for him? Obviously its impossible to calculate how to do it, but fears of brain damage are maybe overexaggerated because if you don't know, and these feelings are gone, surely it would be ideal. And if you did die, yeah I've upset my brother more but can't help that. Thoughts?

With suicide, you die. Loved ones are shocked. There's funeral bills, trauma, a huge mental toll. Sometimes it goes away, sometimes it doesn't. Someone might follow your footsteps.


Now let's say you shoot yourself and survive with severe brain trauma that leaves you in a vegetative state. Your family goes through the same shock and horror of you shooting yourself, but with the false hope of you coming back.

After a month or two, the hope will die and the medical bills will start racking. The reality that you're just a husk becomes apparent. At that point, they'll have three options:

1. Euthanization

They'll feel like they're killing you themselves. Might tear the family apart.

2. Send you to a facility

They'll feel guilty. Visiting will likely be excruciating.

3. Give you round-the-clock care themselves.

Most if not all aspects of their lives will be negatively impacted and they will almost certainly grow to resent you.


A quick Google search says vegetative patients generally live no more than 2-5 years if the state lasts longer than a month. So even if they go with option 2 or 3 they'll still have to bury you like they would if you'd just died when you attempted with all the associated costs before long. Only this way their suffering is immensely amplified and stretched out across months, years, or potentially even decades.

In summary- either live or die. Do not half ass it. Read some accounts of people with vegetative family members if you aren't convinced. At least with death there's no chance of your memory being spoiled with thoughts of how caring for the inanimate shell you became cost them a high paying job and their marriage

 

[Coconut blue]

if now with you being fully conscious you care about future dignity, yes

 

[indefinitesleep]

I have no clue but the risk of becoming functionally useless but aware of your surroundings is there and thats enough to scare tf out of me.

 

[Neowise]

Mentally handicapped people seem to be the happiest people out there. They always smile and laugh a lot. I've never seen one crying because he lost his job or stressed out because his partner cheated. They don't question themselves because they have failed the exam for the second time. You give them ice cream and they are happy. It's a simple life.

Now call me naive, but getting brain damaged and living like this doesn't seem so much worse than my current existence. Being dead or handicapped are both much better than staying like I am right now for the next 50 years.

 

[rainwillneverstop]

Watch Louis Theroux: A different brain, and make up your mind.

 

[fleetingnight]

(Sorry, I typed my comment before seeing OP's reply, so I deleted it to rewrite and repost it)
There can be misconceptions that people with brain damage/similar disabilities aren't unhappy, just because it's more difficult for them to communicate their unhappiness in a way that abled people can tell. I think I understand what you're trying to say, though (?) I always say I think having a lower level of consciousness would probably make me happier. But, I don't think you can be sure if someone truly has a lower level of consciousness or not.

Don't be too hard on yourself about asking, though. No one knows everything about everything, so everyone says something a bit uninformed sometimes, it's alright

Mentally handicapped people seem to be the happiest people out there. They always smile and laugh a lot. I've never seen one crying because he lost his job or stressed out because his partner cheated. They don't question themselves because they have failed the exam for the second time. You give them ice cream and they are happy. It's a simple life.

Now call me naive, but getting brain damaged and living like this doesn't seem so much worse than my current existence. Being dead or handicapped are both much better than staying like I am right now for the next 50 years.

I know you don't mean any harm, but this comment is a little insensitive. A lot of mentally handicapped people still go through the same struggles as you. If they don't, then they have their own struggles they're dealing with.

Nothing wrong with sharing your own perspective, but especially cause ik there's forum members who deal with brain damage, I felt like I had to say something. The same thing I said to OP above applies to this. Ik you don't mean any harm by it, so I'm not mad and I don't mean to make you feel bad about it

 

[Ash]

A friend's relative suffered a brain injury after a car crash. He went from being a gentle man to one who suddenly had sudden, unprovoked, extremely violent outbursts. Someone else I know with an acquired brain injury will require round the clock care for the rest of his life and will never be able to communicate what he actually thinks and feels beyond his basic needs such as hunger (but can't say what he wants to eat) or happy/not happy (but not why). They don't even know if he knows. A friend of a friend had a brain haemorrhage several years ago that left her needing round the clock care, unable to walk or swallow, or even comprehend, let alone consent to the numerous and painful operations she's required due to physical complications from the haemorrhage.

I know that everybody's experiences are different and I apologise profusely if I've upset anyone on the forum who is living with a brain injury, but anyone who thinks that acquired brain injuries, especially moderate to severe ones, mean some sort of idyllic second childhood needs to get out in the real world.

 

[sserafim]

Not good, I have undefined cognitive decline, it is not fun. But I can't tell u wats best for u

How did you know that you have cognitive decline? I think I might have brain damage as well

 

[10minutesremaining]

i'm already fucking retarded how much worse can it get

 

[Hotsackage]

How did you know that you have cognitive decline? I think I might have brain damage as well

I can tell, brain scans showed nothing, mind u that was years ago

 

[divinemistress36]

I dont have a severe brain injury but moderate and its total hell. I suffered severe depression before but its so much worse with a brain injury. I cant control my emotions and get angry easy, my memory is shot and cant remember a lot of past events which puts me in even more of a fight or flight mode. Im always exhausted and overstimulated by everything . I cant imagine having a severe brain injury that would be total hell!

 

[alltoomuch2]

I dont have a severe brain injury but moderate and its total hell. I suffered severe depression before but its so much worse with a brain injury. I cant control my emotions and get angry easy, my memory is shot and cant remember a lot of past events which puts me in even more of a fight or flight mode. Im always exhausted and overstimulated by everything . I cant imagine having a severe brain injury that would be total hell!

I'm so sorry that you're in this situation. I appreciate your struggles and in my op I referred to brain damage severe enough to be classified as brain death. Is there nothing that can be done to improve your quality of life?

 

[JustA_LittlePerson]

When I think of severe brain damage, I tend to think first of alzheimer's. That final stage, where you're basically dead, doesn't look fun at all. Even if you're almost dead, you're not, and the look they have in their eyes... I don't want it.