Help Is reaching out to loved ones or friends a good idea? Or just it blow up in your face?

[Hadyachance]

tl;dr : Has talking to friends, loved ones, or professionals ever been helpful without repercussions?

I am having such a hard time. Years ago I thought it was bad but I am a little surprised how much more misery I can sustain.

Is it worth bringing up that you think about killing yourself or that it seems like a logical solution for yourself? To the people you know.

Or do they just freak out and then from then on you're on a fuckin mind list. And like, yea go to therapy. But is it a good idea to bring it up in therapy? Don't really want to get hospitalized. Like I can afford that.

after consideration, I don't think there is a helpful forum (beside here. I hope) to talk about suicidal tendencies. But I feel like I am getting worse in terms of staying alive and living a fulfilling life.

I could go on and write several paragraphs and pages about how I'm feeling, but I don't have the words ready at the moment.
But is it even worth expressing, if the reactions are diminished to "you should see a therapist" or things are bad now but you should work on it.

I don't know. I feel like there is a ton to get of my chest but I need an audience that won't over react or limit my freedom.
I am worried I know my answer, and it is best to keep these thoughts to myself and continue to push them aside and try and find good reasons to carry on. But I am having a difficult time of it.

 

[The_Hunter]

In my firsthand experience; talking to friends who are supportive and genuinely understand what you're going through, has been incredibly cathartic for me, and made me feel a lot better.

It can help a lot to try and choose friends who have struggled with suicidality in the past, since they would quite literally know what you're experiencing.

If you're concerned about how they may react (understandable) then you could try asking under the guise of "someone I know is struggling with suicidalism", and try and gauge their reaction from there. If you find it acceptable, then you could reveal things and open up further from there.

Opening up to a friend can be a very healing and cathartic experience. But please take care to ensure you're picking the best possible person for this as well. For example, if you know a certain friend of yours has trauma relating to suicide (ie; had multiple close friends / close family take their own lives) then it could pose problems opening up to that person specifically, since they're highly sensitive to that sort of thing. But if you know someone who has struggled with mental health or even suicidality in particular before, then that friend could be a great source of support and understanding for yourself.

Feel free to write more about trying to figure out what to do from here, on how you feel about the idea of reaching out, about your concerns / wishes / etc; anything is good. My PMs are also open if you want to write anything there as well with extra privacy.

Wishing you the best in this difficulty. There are good friends who can respond with genuine understanding & active listening that will actually try to help you with your problems as opposed to brushing it off with 'go to therapy'. Perhaps you have good friends like that; in which case, it would be a wonderful idea to try and reach out.

This could very well be a fine idea. It's okay to be unsure about these kinds of things. Feel most free with yourself to think on this, and I hope to help you with that thought deliberation, as well. Best of luck, friend.

 

[vitbar]

I was choosey about which friends I told. I'm glad I told some of them. One in particular has helped me so much. Encouraged me to seek help (I did and it has helped). This friend has a history with mental health stuff and so could give informed advice.

I've been very open with professionals (at that friend's suggestion). They always deemed me as not a short term risk, so never got sectioned, but enough to get me treatment. Helped that, when booking an appointment, I asked if any of the doctors at my local place have mental health training, and asked for an appointment with them.

One word of warning: if you open up to a friend try and avoid having all your conversations be about this. Many years ago I got stuck in a cycle of trauma dumping to relieve my pain and it drove some away.

 

[Hadyachance]

Cool, I feel a little less cornered in hearing about your experiences. Thank you.

 

[Life'sA6itch]

Not for me and not for many others. Some may call "authorities" who have zero ability, knowledge or experience with suicide and who will treat you badly or in ways you do not agree with with the sole purpose of extending your life. The exact opposite of your choice/goal.

Others will even shame or bully you. Some may call you crazy for having a logical response to life's various burdens. Still, others may ghost you. The worst is when so called authorities are called to "help" and they do anything but. Tread carefully. I hope you find the peace we all seek.

 

[Mr. Silver]

It did not work too well for me. I regret talking to my mother because it only made things worse.

Friends didn't help either, sometimes making fun of me, etc. Looking back, they were kind of right; I was the only one complaining while others might have thought something similar or worse without me knowing. And being edgy in the group chat didn't help too.

 

[Jaded_Wolf]

For friends and loved ones, I think it highly depends on the person and the type of relationship you have with them. For instance, how long have you known them? Do they have first-hand experience with suicidal ideation? Or are they experienced with talking with people who have been suicidal?

I have disclosed my suicidal ideation to a select number of friends and they've all been supportive:

1. One friend I talk to nearly every day. She listens and offers advice when she can, to include reminding me that suicide isn't the solution to my problems.

2. A second friend has gone through suicidal ideation herself, to include making a suicidal attempt. She knows what I mean when I say things like I've been feeling bad or down.

3. Third friend has had some professional training (but not a therapist/psychologist) on interacting with suicidal patients. I don't think I've told him everything, but it helps to vocalize at least some of my suicidal ideation.

I feel talking with them helps because even if they don't know how to solve my problems, just expressing my thoughts to someone else can temporarily soothe my mental anguish.

In contrast, I haven't really disclosed my suicidal ideation to someone like my mom. She likely doesn't have any experience with suicidal ideation, and may jump to the conclusion that anyone who expresses any kind of suicidal ideation must go to the hospital for evaluation.

With professionals, most I've interacted with understand there's a balance between legal obligations to keep me safe, and hospitalization being an absolute last resort for people who are suicidal. Only one so far has sent me to the ER, and that was because I had detailed plans, even though I didn't express imminent intent to carry out one of those plans. I spent a few hours in the ER. The doctor put me on a new SSRI and sent me home.