Help Is it useful to try any goal before ctb?

[Isisnefert]

I am really desperate with ctb, I cannot remain neet any longer, my sector is in crisis to find a job, I am studying something without success or job opportunity, the only thing I can do is try to opt for opposition for a public job in the government, but it is very difficult and if I fail, then without a doubt ctb..I can't fail one more time, I can't be tolerant of frustration, I imagine that I am not the only person in this situation but every morning when I wake up is like a burning hell on fire. I can't stand being alive. I need to go

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Yeah, I'm also having trouble with being allowed to wage-cuck after proving my incompetence time and time again. I separate ctb from my life-situation since it is likely to somehow change over the coming decades if I stay alive. Whether that be getting through trade school, getting lucky somehow with an employer, finding out I have crippling autism and can get money for free, etc. I've wanted to die even during the times when I was employed or was studying, even during my peak at 17 (attractive, relatively smart, bright future) I was passively suicidal and wouldn't mind getting mercy-killed.

As the quote goes: